Saturday, December 29, 2012

Jarret Jack Throws Dorell Wright's Shoe Into Stands



The Dubs are playing great right now. After defeating Philly on 12/28 at The rOracle they now sit at 20-10. This is the first time they have 20 wins before the New Year since 1917. TRUTH.

Part of the reason for this great record to start the season has been the bench play from Carl Landry and Jarret Jack. Both of these guys get heavy minutes when it matters most and both have been starters before in The Association. There's a good argument that The Dubs have the best bench in the League and are currently right up there with the bench units of The Clippers, The Spurs and The Thunder (sitting starter Kendrick Perkins immediately makes The Thunder a better team, but I digress).

Jack and Landry are good because they are smart. So when Jarrett Jack notices that former Warrior Dorell Wright lost his shoe, he calmly picks up Dorell's shoe and tosses it into the stands.  Jack then gets the ball at the top of the key and nails a three pointer over the shoeless Dorell. Jarrett Jack then laughs for 30 seconds because he knows that what he did was smart and that it is not against the rules.

As a Warriors fan, you gotta love this stuff.

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Warriors Fans Boo Lacob



This video of the Lacob Getting Boo'd Night from last year needs to be housed at the Nextians. Douche Chills when Rick Barry decides to scold the crowd. In my humble opinion this booing forced Bob Meyer's ascension as the public face of the front office. The crowd was pissed at Monta being traded for Bogut and for the the ownership being so pumped up to move to San Francisco. In case you didn't know, at least a third of all attendees of Warrior home games live in Oakland and probably about 60% live in the East Bay. The Warriors moving to SF makes it much harder, and more expensive, for these Warrior fans to make it to the game. It was around this time of the booing that Lacob and Crew decided to hide Bogut's micro-fracture surgery. They then forced him to play limited minutes early in this '12/'13 season to appease the fans/season ticket holders. We won't know for a while what these minutes did to Bogut's health.

The team is cruising right now at 16-8 off to their best start in about four decades. And I don't fault the moves that Lacob and Guber for putting together a culture and an office to get this start. And I thank them for not trying to get taxpayer money to fund their $500 million SF Stadium (man, these guys are rich). But Lacob needed to be put in place last March. NBA fans are smart. A lot smarter than users of autotrader.com and Invisalign are when him and his extremely smart and wealthy buddies of Kleiner Perkins.

Saturday, December 15, 2012

Kent Bazemore: Best NBA Bench Celebrator

Here are some OG Nextian produced clips from the 3rd quarter of the Dubs home game victory over the Pacemakers. The person of focus is Kent Bazemore who is the most awesome bench celebrator in The Association today.













You think that the bench doesn't matter? Huh? Warriors have the best bench celebrator in the game and are easily the best team in the NBA this season. Coincidence? I think not!

Friday, December 14, 2012

Melo's 1st Quarter vs. Lakers 12/13/12



The Lakers currently play terrible defense but Melo still dominated the first quarter with 22 points. The Knicks look awesome with their "if you don't shoot an open 3 you're getting benched" -slash- "let's whip the ball around the perimeter like crazy because J-Kidd told us to and we want to abolish all ideas of Melo being a ball stopper" -slash- "we make more threes than we turn the ball over" game plan.  The Lakers just flat out suck as a team at the moment. And that obviously makes any Warriors fan very, very happy.

NBA Pacific Division 12/14/12 UPDATE!

Clips     16-6
DUBS   15-7
Lakers   9-14
Suns      8-15
Kings    7-14

Gregg Popovich Rap



In case you didn't know Israeli's love the NBA.  Hence a crew of 20-somethings get motivated enough to write, record and film a music video for this amazing hip hop song about Spur's head coach Gregg Popovich.

I've listened 17 times but still can't figure out what the old guy is saying during the chorus. My best guess is "he wants to win the game".  I also like the old guy's line near the end of the track the best. I'm pretty sure he spits:

"let Deron and LeBron and the rest of them play
Let them have some fun
Give them some slack
Cuz they know it going be long til the Popovich back"

OK, OK. He obviously meant to say "Because they know it ISN'T going to be long until the Popovich back". Back where you ask? The playoffs, you dummy. Or maybe the Finals. The Spurs did get stopped short of the Finals last year by a shifting of the Thunder defense to protect that paint after Game 2.  So I'm going with it isn't going to be long until THE Popovich gets back to the Finals.  Boom, there you go. Interpretation solved.

Thanks to Trey Kirby at TBJ

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Iman Shumpert Knicks Rap



Shump has some good flow fo sho. It's all about the 16-5 KNICKS right now and their torrid 3 point shooting offense in case you haven't heard. So put on your orange arm band on and hop on the bandwagon!

Friday, December 7, 2012

UNDRCRWN Steez

Here are some of the better pieces on UNDRCRWN dot com. For those of you who don't know UNDRCRWN is an upside down ADIDAS Crown. Alt ADIDAS, essentially.

One of the coolest designs ever. ReUp 2009 design.

Everyone who's a BKLN Nyets Fan should wear this

Thursday, December 6, 2012

Dikembe Mutombo Saves The World in 4 1/2 Weeks



This game is frigging epic. I'd advise watch any and all intros.

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Get Luke Babbitt the Ball!

From the sounds of things the 12/3 Blazers at Hornets Bobcats game was a fun watch. The Bobcats are no longer the Bobkittens with a 7-9 record even though they have lost 4 straight.  Their three point shooting big man Byron "BJ" Mullens is getting in on the act and is now fierce like a wild cat:



Charlotte built a pretty good lead in the 4th quarter with a 26-5 rampage putting them up 17 points with five minutes left in the game.  Then Luke Babbitt went on a rampage.  The Blazer's little-used bench came through as they overcame one of the biggest deficits in basketball history (fact check!) and put the game into overtime on the 3/3 three point shooting of Babbitt.  In overtime Portland Head Coach Terry Stotts begged his team to get Luke Babbitt the ball:


Yes, that is what you do to defeat the Bobcats. You get Luke Babbitt the fucking ball! Reading about this stuff makes me wish I had more time and funds for NBA League Pass.  Man, I would be so worthless if I was single and rich!

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

New Orleans Pelicans


So the New Orleans Hornets may change their name to the Pelicans, ehe? Pelicans are pretty dang fierce:



So if New Orleans goes with the Pelicans then Michael Jordan will change the Charlotte Bobcats back to the Charlotte Hornets. The Utah Jazz will still be the Jazz and people in LA will continue to wonder where all the Lakes and Clipper Ships are.  Native Americans will protest the name "The Warriors" while somehow the NFL team in our nations' capital still gets away with being call "The Redskins". That's almost as bad as the "Columbus White Guys" which is the Cav's D-League team. Speaking of Washington the Wizards still must be the Wizards since "Washington Bullets" is just waaaay too offensive. Ever heard of the second amendment of the United States where we're allowed to own guys and shoot things and prevent tyranny? Bullets are awesome. But not as awesome as Magic who's Disney-asses took down the Warriors last night in laughable fashion all because David Lee sucks at defense and his team actually rebounds better when he's on the bench.


Monday, December 3, 2012

Douchey Laker Fans UPDATE

Say "Lakers" the sexiest way you can

The Porn King Douchey Laker Fan from THIS POST presents himself again. This time he stands near Steve Kerr (announcer) holding up a tacky as hell home made "World Peace" sign ironically screaming bloody murder at the top of his lungs.

Friday, November 30, 2012

LeBron James PTImeline



An oral history of LeBron James' basketball career to date

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Jay Z Can't Dribble



Prior to 11/26/12's Knicks at Nets game Jay Z tried to dribble. Not only was his hat huge and his pants camo, Hova doesn't know how to dribble.

Monday, November 26, 2012

Harrison Barnes DUNKS



Harrison Barnes, the 2012 7th overall pick by the San Francisco Golden State Warriors, threw down this monster jam this past Saturday over a Montenegrin Knight who has this tattoo.

The guy with this tattoo and Harrison Barnes are currently some of my favorite people in the NBA. Pekovic doesn't care about pain. Pain don't hurt. He sprained his ankle a few weeks back and didn't use crutches.
Thanks to Deadspin

Isiah Thomas & Nate Robinson Motivate



Nate Rob put out this motivation workout video (for the ladies) over the summer of him and fellow U Dub 5'9" Alumni Isiah Thomas of the Kings.  The shaky camera made me nauseous at times but the point is made: these guys work out hard, starting at 6:00 am, in the offseason. Do you think that these midgets by NBA standards would be in the NBA if they weren't incredibly talented and worked their balls off?

Maybe Isiah Thomas stopped his workouts because the genius known as Keith Smart just benched him for Aaron Brooks last week. And now he is getting the dreaded DNP-CD's in the box score. Nate Rob is in the right place getting some good run for a broken Bulls team.

Hopefully this post will pull in the ladies who like short athletes with their shirts off. If so, this blog will completely change directions.

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Douchey Laker Fans

I don't care who I'm stealing this from because it needs to be kept in this here blog for eternity. This is just more evidence that Laker fans can be complete douche bags.  Found in Barstool Chicago by Nextian Maaaaatt the post and comments are a must read. I mean, the kid with his new D-How t-shirt by Adidas sitting in daddy's seats ripping off his sunny g's is one thing but the guy over his left shoulder wearing an American Apparel purple tank with yellow trim is another. Holy good god almighty.


I mean, who the heck is this Kevin Nealon wannabe? This dude is sleazier than Larry Flint. He's totally a porn producer. And that Lakers necklace and Championship rings are all fake as shit.


Update: Laker Bros in reverse .gif is that much funnier. Enjoy!


Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Chandler "Bang" Parsons

His highlights never make it onto ESPN but Chander Parsons, aka "Chandler Bang" can throw it down.  Zach Lowe of Grantland (and formerly of SI) says "I love Chandler Parsons. He's a nice all-around player whom the Rockets smartly locked into a four-year contract that never exceeds $1 million in annual salary. It's borderline unfair already."

Chandler Bang's dunk highlights from last year:


Bang's best game from this year (I embedded this highlight to show how he splashes 3's:

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Dirk Sings and Other Stuff

Dirk karaoke's a Bruce Springsteen song:



 Lamar doesn't know what team he's on. Also, he's fat:




Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Under Armour Micro G Charge Shoes

This shoe goes up to your knee
 Damn this is a strange shoe, Under Armour!  For $139 it sounds like you're getting a steal on the square inches of material to dollar cost price point. Those lowtop Kobe's are a rip off using this metric.

I like how the Under Armour Micro G Charge's are called "ridiculously light" but at 16.4 oz's they are definitely on the heavy end of basketball shoes these days.

I like how it's shiny on the back. I'm attracted to shiny things.
You better be a frigging BALLER if you show up to the hardwood wearing these kicks. Like the best guy on the court type baller where onlookers say "that dude with those wacked out shoes is BALLIN". If you're really good they'll say "did dis dude just did dis?".

Regardless, I think that Nextian Toomie with his ever-sprained ankles needs to get a pair of the Micro G Charge's. And please click-through with this link so that an OG Nextian can make $0.87 on your purchase.

Monday, November 5, 2012

STOP FLOPPING Blake Griffin!



Just a classic video right here. Eternal flopper/douche nugget Blake Griffin flops like Julliard Graduate in this here clip. Not once, but TWICE.  He flops when David Lee has his arm on him, he then proceeds to douchily chest bump D Lee, and he even flops when the ref touches his abdominal region. Do you think when Griffin goes home to his mansion and accidentally brushes against his sofa that he recoils sideways 3 to 4 feet and gives his couch that lamest of lame "WTF bro!?" look? Probably.

Steph Curry Likes Boobs!

During the Saturday 11/3/12 gutsy Warriors win over the whiney/complainy Clips in LA, Steph Curry decided to sneak a peak at the lady in the courtside seats.  I mean, how could you not when her gazongas are literally jumping right out at you:

Don't get distracted Steph!
 Steph probably had his eye on this wonderful human being from the beginning and thought: "now's the time to take a look, she's gonna sit down!".  Unfortunately, Curry had the camera on him and he was caught red handed.

And this was the moment Steph and all the camera guys were waiting for
BOOM! There you go. Fortunately, Steph's red hand carried over from being caught sneaking peaks to draining J's (6-16), I mean free throws (9-10).

Saturday, November 3, 2012

Free James Harden!



James Harden dominates yet again in his 2nd game on Houston. The Rockets were up big in the first half, lost their lead, and were actually down a few points around the 5 minute mark. This is when Harden steps it up. He puts the Rocknuts on his back and keeps scoring until the Rockets walk away with a 109-102 victory.  This 45 point performance wasn't in some blowout win or loss.  Those points were scored in a legit come from behind victory.

Notice his drives, how he holds his arms straight out while still protecting the ball in order to initiate contact. He dominates athletic shot blockers like Josh Smiff more than once making me wish I drafted Harden in the first round of one of my fantasy leagues instead of Josh.

Harden has scored 82 points in his first two games with Houston and is third on the list of "most points scored in first two games with a new team" behind Wilt and MJ.


Friday, November 2, 2012

NEXT Dumps 11/2/12

NEXT Dumps is a frequent OG Nextian posting about things that may pique interest. I read about the Association while watching many games and all game highlights, aggressively research Kanye West's influence on Music while listening to every episode of The Howard Stern Show and a bit of Adam Carolla. If you want a link for a specific topic that I was too lazy busy awesome to provide, please leave a comment and I'll get it posted.

Nextian Todd explores the OG Warriors in China by posing with the terracotta warriors
  •  I  just finished reading fellow Nextian Toddmy's blog about his trip to China with his wife. Now I want to go there and get free beer and fruit for speaking with Chinese students learning English.
  • A maddening game by Russell Westbrook last night. Ill timed and forced shots, boneheaded turnovers, and blew his defensive assignment on Tony Parker on the last possession leading to a walk off Parker jumper over Ibaka and a victorious victory by Los Spurs. Westbrook was 6-21 from the floor and Durantula shot 50%.  Maybe find that teammate of yours, Russ?  Anyway, I usually like to oppose anything that Reggie Miller comments on during a game he works (he was ripping into Russ somewhat mercilessly) but this game full of bad decisions was just obvious to all viewers. Harden 1, Thunder 0. Yes, there is a scorecard.
  • Durantula became the 2nd youngest dude to reach 10,000 points. #1 on the list was the guy who should have also been drafted ahead of him in all fantasy drafts: LeBron James.
  • You should do some googling on Eric Gordon and why he's not playing for the Hornets. This is a hilarious story. Actually, don't do that. This is motivating me to do a NEXTIANS SPECIAL article.
  • Speaking of NEXTIANS SPECIAL articles, I've written a few the most recent about Christian Laettner's career and the most popular about Blake Griffin's parents. In case you haven't noticed I try to just state facts without adding any opinion. These posts get a lot of hits and any comments on this blog are usually on these pieces. The comments always seem misinterpret the point of the "article" and think that I am either bashing or praising the subject.  I find this funny and an interesting case in human psychology in the sense that if you have a strong opinion about something, you are likely interpret a statement/article/etc. on that something to support your viewpoint. The ego's need to always be right? Me thinks so.
  • Here is your Youtube of the Day
  • Kevin Love is going to be out longer than imagined. Mid-December they say. Maybe Kevin and Ricky will return on the same day? That would be awesome. "No More Knuckle Pushups". I'm going to make a 'Scause wristband out of that to inform the people.
  • Andrew Bogut is expected to play on Friday against the Grizzlies and then rest on Saturday against the Clippers. And so continues the year of a "healthy" Andrew Bogut. We'll see how Monta Ellis does in his opener tonight (he shot terribly in the pre-season).
  • How much does everyone think that the Knew Look Knicks will lose by tonight in their season opener against the Heatles? I'm guessing 13.
  • I'd advise watching this Political Ad and all episodes of NITN

Thursday, November 1, 2012

NEXT Dumps 11/1/12

NEXT Dumps is a frequent OG Nextian posting about things that may pique interest. I read a lot about the Association while watching many games and all game highlights, aggressively research Dub Step Music and Health Care Reform while listening to every episode of The Howard Stern Show and a bit of Adam Carolla. If you want a link for a specific topic that I was too lazy busy to provide, please leave a comment and I'll get it posted.
The Pistons attempt at "defense" was hilarious. These two dropped a combined 49 points and 20 assists.
  • The Lakers are 0-2 and Kobe must be fuming. Dwight commented on his Halloween 33 point 14 rebound performance where he hit 15 of 19 free throws by saying "So, do I get my Halloween candy? I made my free throws." Kobe probably read/heard this comment and now wants to strangle Superman II.
  • Speaking of the Lakers @ Rip City matchup, rookie Damian Lillard lit it up going for 23 points and 11 assists. The Lakers only went on runs when he was on the bench. He was at Weber State last year. Damian is also from Oakland. Old Steve Nash couldn't contain Lillard and got a owie on his leg.
  • The 3rd Party Debate on CNN was way better than any of the Obama/Romney Reality Show Ratings Generator Debates on the real news. I'm just sayin'. When is it OK to "throw your vote away"?
  • Word on the street is that the Palace at Auburn Hills (Pistons) now only plays dance music.........and it is awesome.
  • There is a correlation between increasing 3 point attempts and increased winning percentage. I'm guessing it has to do with spreading the floor out.
  • I watched a video and now know 9 ways to score without having the ball. If only my teammates would pass the rock to me.
  • Andrew Bogut won't play in the 2nd games of back to backs. Were the Warriors fans sold a bill of goods? Bogut has been a Warrior for 7 months now and played his first game last night getting in there for 18 minutes, scoring 8 points and grabbing 6 rodmans. He didn't play in the 4th quarter (a.k.a. Carl Landry time). I remember being told that he would be completely healthy to start this season. I guess it's too tough to predict health.
  • James Harden? Yeah he was pretty good as a top dog in his first Houston game

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

NBA Pump Up Video



If you can't name everyone in this video please leave this blog and never come back

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Michael Beasley - A Phoenix Sun

$50 says Beaz sparks owls on gameday
From Marc Spears of Yahoo!! Sports:

      "I know the public sees me as a monster," Beasley told Yahoo! Sports. "That is what the media paints me as. But I'm me, a monster to some, a nice guy to some, a great father to four, a son, a brother just like everybody. What the media thinks or perceives me as, is not my concern. I'm just doing what I got to do to, first, help the team, second, help myself.
      "Five years in, I'm nowhere near where I thought or wanted myself to be. I don't have anyone to blame that on but myself. All I can do is look forward. On the court, off the court, I'm in a better space, better state of mind – the right track so to speak."
      The Phoenix Suns can only hope. They signed Beasley to a three-year, $18 million contract in the summer, banking on the belief he's matured enough to provide a good return on their investment. Beasley has made headlines in his first four NBA seasons, but most often for his behavior away from the court.
      Beasley was fined $50,000 by the NBA for being in a room where marijuana was found during the league's rookie symposium. Less than a year later, he entered a substance-abuse treatment center. The Miami Heat opted to trade him to the Minnesota Timberwolves after his second season to clear salary-cap room to help sign LeBron James and Chris Bosh. 

I've had my eye on Beasley this pre-season. He's new to the revamped Phoenix Suns with a nice, phat contract (bye-bye Nash) as the organization is trying to pair him with Goran Dragic, Marcin Gortat and to a lesser extent Luis Scola. Beaz shot the lights out in his last pre-season game going for 29 points and 10 rodmans. But can you trust him alongside the foreigners?

Beasley was the 2008 #2 draft pick behind Derrick Rose but in front of guys like (UCLA Bruins) Russell Westbrook and Kevin Love. He has 3 mary jane situations and attended rehab in Houston after getting caught at the frigging Rookie Transition Program smoking splifs in the hotel room with Mario Chalmers and Darrel Arthur.  More importantly, Beaz has 4 kids.  4 KIDS!  Wikipedia only shows him with two kids: "He has a daughter Mikaiya, born in May 2009 and a son Michael III, born in November 2010."  Where are the other two kids? Doesn't Wikipedia know everything?  For your information, my quick math shows that Beaz is 23 years old.

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Hakeem Olajuwon Movie



This a fun online "dvd" of Hakeem's basketball life and career. Starting from humble Nigerian beginnings, learning the game at University of Houston as a member of Phi Slamma Jamma (love how this was written on the backs of their warm ups) to winning two Larry O'Brien trophies ('94 & '95 while Jordan was baseballing) with the Houston Rockets, Hakeem progressed through and through. Considering that went from an "offensive liability" in his Sophomore year at U of H as Clyde Drexler put it to finishing out as a top 6 center of all time in a Hall of Fame career ('98) is crazy to think about.

You see, kids, if you work hard (and are 7' with amazing speed, coordination and footwork) you can achieve (nearly) anything!

The best part about Hakeem, aside from him still being better on the post than many of today's centers who he schools for $50K for a weekend session, is watching how he leaves his defenders flat footed once he mastered his offensive game in 1994 and beyond.

Saturday, October 20, 2012

The Rooks: Golden State Warriors



NBA TV is previewing all Association teams this pre-season. A part of each preview episode is a mini-sode called The Rooks.  Here is The Rooks piece for the GS Dubs featuring Harrison Barnes, Festus Ezeli, and Draymond Green.

Monday, October 15, 2012

SF Arena 2017 -- Artists Rendering

The city is very grey
Ominous clouds are on the horizon as a mist hovers over the retrofitted Bay Bridge. It is 2017 and President Hillary Clinton is just finishing her first year in office after holding Romney to one term. Somehow Cable News and the NYT convinced the sheeple that the collapse of the Euro was all Romney and Bush's fault as Hillary wins in a landslide.  She is a mere 6 months away from introducing Huma Abedin as her first lady. Sadly, Bill Clinton deteriorated to nothing just after her inauguration as President H.Clinton feels that enough time has passed before admitting to having an affair with Anthony Weiner's wife Huma for over 10 years. Weiner is made the Secretary of Health and Human Services for playing along.

The fog rolls over the city on a cold day yet sailboats harmlessly cruise the bay before a late fall Warriors game at SF Arena. There are no cargo ships in sight and sailing is of high importance. The sun is rising in the East meaning it's morning.  Wait a second, why are so many people sailing at sunrise?  And doesn't fog usually roll through the city like that in the evening? Does fog even make it to SOMA after powering it's way through the city? That's some serious Sunset District fog in this artists rendering of SF Arena, the most amazing Arena known to man.

In 2017 Kayaking is all the rage
 It is 2017 obviously meaning that people love to kayak. Especially old ladies in sunhats. Might as well get a kayak ride in before seeing the Dubs host the Seattle Superdupers.  Thankfully, Joe Lacob has free kayak parking. Roughly 25% of all Warrior game fans kayak to the game. Full grown Monterrey Pines tickle the landscape. They were imported from 17 mile drive as there are no Monterrey Pines at Piers 31 and 32 currently and they take forever to grow.

Warrior fans come in all shapes, sizes and colors. But not one of them is older than 35
Hot girls with butter faces and boob jobs are now Warrior fans. Franco Finn's younger brother and his nephew are at the game. Fans go crazy in the breezeway as the starting lineups are announced.  Hipsters wander and people still have smartphones in 2017. A full view of the Bay Bridge pulls fans away from their seats. Everyone wants to get a glimpse of the ubiquitous sailboats that this part of the Bay is now known for.

Friday, October 12, 2012

Hakeem Olajuwon Could Score



Yes, there's a reason why dudes like Kobe, LeBron, Dwight and now JaVale and Amare pay $50,000 for an offseason weekend session with The Dream. Hakeem had such amazing quickness and smooth pivots. But the best part about his moves was his ability to read the defense and use his scoring move when he knew his defenders were stunted.

Something tells me that JaVale and Amare won't look anything like Hakeem this season.

Thursday, September 27, 2012

Warriors Gangam Style



Well Franco Finn isn't useless then!

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Roy Hibbert Battles Foam Sticks....AND WINS!



Thanks to TBJ

JaVale McGee on a Segway


Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Vince Carter Wrestles Former Coach Sam Mitchell



Jalen is so funny.

Monday, September 24, 2012

J.R. Smith Grantland Article

J.R. Smith's entire back is covered with original "Just Klownin" tattoos
Check out the Jonathan Abrams article about the Knick's J.R. Smith. Enjoy reading about his upbringing, his father, J.R.'s contentious relationship with his first coach Byron Scott, his strange back and forth with Nuggets coach George Karl, and try and figure out just how good of a golfer he is.

But most importantly, check out this dude's tattoos!

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

The Melo's



This is a good time of year as NBA stars begin filming their shoe commercials.

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Hot Cheetos & Takis



I was going to attempt to break this amazing video down.  From the "what the heck are Takis?" question to which rapper each kid sounds like. I was also considering a breakdown of the basketball footage since this is, you know, kind of a blog that has ties to basketball.

But then I read Rembert at Grantland and it was so good it made me cry.  Now just posting this amazing video seems good enough for a Nextian.

UPDATE: check out the lyrics directly from their web page and support these kids with a $1 download HERE.

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

NBA Rappers

Privaledge and Kevin Durant - Wired 

KD sounds pretty good starting at the 1:40 mark.  He certainly is a "young boy who is living old". Great line.

Stephen Jackson aka Stak5 "Shot Caller TRILLmix" Ft. French Montana


Stack Jack can spit, for certain. The video is pretty legit too with the beautiful Milwaukee skyline, Air Jordan 4's, and a nice hotel room suite. How long was Jackson a Buck again?

Louis Williams (NBA Philadelphia 76ers) Freestyle - Imma Boss  

Youtube commentors comment on Youtube that Lou is the best current NBA rapper. And the title suggests that he did this freestyle which is quite impressive.

Well, at least they're all better than a young Kobe:

 

Thursday, August 16, 2012

Jeremy Lin in Taipei



Jeremy Lin was in Taipei a few weeks back to launch his new line of Nike Hyperdunks. The video above shows his body guards leveling his fans as he makse his way through the crowd.


Of course his T-Shirt Rockets jersey was in full force

Jeremy Lin is a bazillionaire. He should be receiving his Illuminati invitation soon and will definitely be speaking at the next Builderberg conference.

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Nicolas Batum Nutpunches JC Navarro






Nicolas Batum of France (also of the Portland Trailblazers) certainly gave Juan Carlos Navarro of Espana (formerly of the Grizzlies, now on FC Barcelona) something to flop about.  Espana defeated France and is in the Semi Finals vs. Russia. No word on if Navarro will be fully recovered by then.

Friday, July 27, 2012

Christian Laettner 1992 Dream Team 12th Man

Do you think he still owns the gold medal?
Did you know that Christian Laettner led the 1992 Dream Team in Free Throw percentage? He was 18/20 and therefore shot 90%.  He also averaged 4.8 points which was 10th of the 12 Dream Teamers. As the 12th man, Laettner was the best ping pong player. He would repeatedly beat Michael Jordan causing MJ to once chuck his racquet at Christian after a defeat (Duke vs North Carolina is always heated).  Jordan then asked his entourage to find him a ping pong table in Barcelona so that he could practice in his down time in order to beat Laettner. Team USA passed up other great college players at the time to choose Laettner as their man.  Shaquille O'Neal and Alonzo Mourning were arguably better college players than Laettner and were picked 1-2 in the NBA Draft that previous June.  On a slightly related note, Duke head coach Mike Krzyzewski was an assistant coach of Daley's for the 1992 Dream Team.

OK, OK. Let's get off of this Laettner Dream Team thing. He was a pretty good pro, right? He did make an All Star Game in 1997. His career average is 12.8 points, 6.7 rebounds, 2.6 assists and 2.2 turnovers. Over the life of his NBA career he brought home $61 million via paychecks. He was also extremely marketable over his career as his likeness once appeared on an NCAA on ESPN commercial where Chris Farley played him. Ducket$ I say!

He's also a good guy, right? Laettner founded a community development company called Blue Devil Ventures with former Duke teammate Brian Davis. In 1995 they began developing a community in Durham, North Carolina called "West Village". Wikipedia does not tell me if they finished development but Bell Partners (a company that Laettner doesn't appear to be associated with) currently runs/manages West Village.  In 2001 Christian donated $1 million to his high school for a scholarship and a new gym.  Blue Devil Ventures donated $2 million to the Duke Blue Devils basketball program as well.  Nice guys, right?

Blue Devil Ventures currently owes over $30 million to various creditors.  These creditors include former Dukie and current Stanford Men's Basketball coach Johnny Dawkins who is owed over $671,000.  BDV currently can't pay him back due to "lack of resources" they say. Classy.  The list of creditors gets even better with BDV owing Scottie Pippin $2.5 million.  Thankfully they paid half of this back to him.  Bills Linebacker Shawne Merriman is the furthest up Sh*t Creek, North Carolina as he is owed $3.7 million.

Oh, if you want to buy that awesome shirt listed at the top of this post go to the infamous UNDRCRWN and cop one for $28. Don't worry: none of your $28 goes towards Blue Devil Ventures.

Thursday, July 26, 2012

Breaking Bad Theme: REMIX!



The tie to the NBA with this theme is that everyone in the NBA has seen The Wire.  The Wire is on par with Breaking Bad as far as awesome TV shows go.  Stretch?

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Andray Blatche Triple Double



Enjoy the infamous Blatche clip with description. Well done!  Also, check out the Washington Post's Dan Steinberg who recaps Andray's top 10 moments.

Royce White Summer League Highlights



Yes, I know this game came against the terrible Kings Summer League team. And I know that overvaluing anything that happens in Summer League is not a good idea. But it sure is fun to watch Royce White play NBA basketball (11/10/7).

Friday, July 20, 2012

NBA Trivia: Who The Heck is This?

Whoa, check out how far that T-Shirt Cannon launches those things!
Do you need any hints? Former top 5 lottery pick. Currently on his 2nd team in Summer League. Has two NBA rings.

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

USA Basketball Jacket




Of Course this was directed by the FreeDarko guys which is probably why I paid attention to Stalley's hipster-rapper beard talk to me about respecting the jersey. Kobe can verbally battle with MJ on if 2012 would beat 1992 and also bitch slap Czar Stern about a Team USA age restriction.  But it's all about the Red, White, and Blue, yo!

Anyone know how much this jacket costs? I tried to find it in the Nike Store.com but it took more than 3 minutes so I gave up.  Me googles no good.

Monday, July 16, 2012

Knicks Want To Get "Older"

Lin-Fu! Raymond Felton can't do THIS
Why do the Knicks want to get older? Well, because coach Mike Woodson said that older teams have more success in the playoffs than younger teams.  Just look at the Heat this year, with an average age of around 29, beating up on the Thunder who have an average age of 25.  And Boston has done well these past 5 seasons with old dudes.  In the Larry O'Brien Championship Series, aka "The Finals", the older team wins about 70% of the time.  Older must mean wiser which must mean better at basketball.

* Note: Jason Kidd just crashed his car at 2:00 AM in the Hamptons and received a DWI.  In a related note, Jason Kidd is pretty old.

So with their infinite wisdumb the Knicks (who must think they can compete for a Conference Championship) have taken a very direct route to getting older: by acquiring 3 of the 4 oldest players in the NBA in just a couple of days.  They signed Marcus Camby (39), Jason Kidd (39) and traded for Kurt Thomas (40).

Raymond Felton was the apple of the Knicks trade with Portland which netted Thomas.  Felton is 28 and could be their youngest starter.  A'mare likes Felton because Felton was able to run the show and present him as an MVP candidate (before A'mare got hurt) two seasons ago when they played together. Don't get me started on how fat Raymond Felton is and how much of a solid defender Jared Jefferies (who they traded for Felton) is.



The Knicks are passing on Lin, who's 23, because Carmelo said that the three year, $25 million dollar deal that Houston offered him was "ridiculous".  James Dolan, put down the mic and focus. One thing you definitely want to do is to listen to Carmelo Anthony analyze the value of contracts.  Methinks that Carmelo is protecting his "points = $" ego with that statement.  'Melo did average just 16 points with Lin and 28 without.

Lin increased Dolan's $MSG valuation by $600 million dollars. By not signing J-Lin the stock has already lost $50 million.

The Knicks are totally messed up.  Dolan is probably still consulting Isaiah Thomas on a daily basis which all bubbles together to create the best terrible reality show in The Association.  At least Knicks fans can defect and become Brooklyn Nets fans now.

And Jeremy Lin, quit being so butthurt by the Knicks not matching the heavily backloaded Rockets offer sheet and having to play in Houston.  Sure, Houston as a city is a craphole and doesn't compare to the NYC lifestyle but just know that your GM is one of the best in the league, your coach loves to let the PG do his thang and run the show (think: Kyle Lowry last season), the Chinese love Houston because of Yao Ming, and you may be throwing lobs to Dwight Howard come November.  Isn't the point of playing basketball to make as much money as you can and win a lot?  You can check both of those boxes in Houston.

Thursday, July 12, 2012

Nash and Kobe: Will it Work?


I was reading 15 things You Should Give Up To Be Happy and was proud of myself for accomplishing a few of them.  Yes!

But then I started to think about Kobe Bean Bryant.  I know that he is incredibly confident so he's probably never engaged in "defeating self talk".  And he definitely does not "limit his beliefs".  Kobe is still the best player in the world in his head. But these are the only two boxes that I think Kobe can check on this list which must mean he is an incredibly unhappy person.  I kid. Having uber millions and hot babes (he's single!) makes for some happy times (but possibly not true happiness?)

Kobe is always right. He thirsts to be in control at all times.  He needs the ball and loves to shoot while double teamed.  There's no better feeling that Kobe has than when he nails an elbow jumper over the double team (with Pau sitting wide open on the baseline).  His shots per minute and usage rate are some of the highest in the league even at his advanced basketball age and with two All Star big men in the post. Man, that's just Kobe being Kobe.

But Kobe being Kobe will not work with Steve Nash in town.  Steve Nash only works when he is dribbling all over the half court probing the defense for opportunities. He's a master at setting his teammates up with easy, open looks if you just allow this to happen by being in the right spot on the court. Nash doesn't work when he just passes to a wing or enters the ball into the post and resets on the opposite side of the court.  Just ask Terry Porter and Shaq.  And if you ask him to be a "traditional" point guard you defeat the purpose of Nash. It's not like he helps a team's defense.

Will Kobe completely change his game with Nash in town?  Kobe likes to score, yes, but he also likes to dribble and create.  Dribbles and time with the ball feed the Mamba's ego. If he realizes this and cuts his time with the ball down, this can work. If Mike Brown asks Nash to be a traditional PG, this will not go well.

Thanks to Henry at TrueHoop for his piece which I blatantly stole from.

Friday, July 6, 2012

Balz & Cam Discuss The Warriors

Cam parties with weirdos
Balz parties with hotties


 Dear Nextians,


It's OG Nextian Cam here.  Bilbo went AWOL on me. I think he's heavily into fantasy football, summertime cornhole games, and preparing for the greatest sloshball game of all time on July 14th.  So to get my Warriors fan fix I've had to get sucked into the Balzer Vortex.  And let me tell you: getting sucked in by Balz is very enjoyable.  OK, wait a second. that sounded really strange even though it made absolutely no sense. As you can see by Balz's picture above he is highly hetero.  Cam (me), on the other hand, posted a picture of the weird alien dude from downtown SF who is indeed gay (so they say).  Draw your own conclusions. I don't care. I am married and have one kid with another on the way and frankly don't have the energy anymore to fight such battles (or even edit this paragraph).  But I will talk about the Warriors as much as I can.


Balz and I started this chat the day after the 2012 NBA draft with the Warriors getting Harrison Barnes and his awesome hat at #7.  Enjoy:

Is he a conehead?

Cam: I love the NBA Today podcast on ESPN. This season the NBA Today's on Friday were great because Henry Abbot and David Thorpe broke the Association down. Thorpe is one of my favorite guys b/c he's a life long coach and a trainer of high level high school and college kids. He's trained a lot of guys who've made it into the NBA.  I say all of this because I want you to listen to this podcast. A few minutes in Thorpe starts to talk about Harrison Barnes and I know you will love it. Enjoy:
LISTEN

Balz: Wow, Thorpe is really big on Barnes.  His arguments supporting why he thinks Barnes will thrive in the NBA seem reasonable.  I imagine that Summer League will tell us quite a bit about that.  As far as I'm concerned, the real missing element for the W's is leadership.   They really haven't had a guy who challenges his teammates since Baron Davis walked.  Seriously, I think we can agree that the talent level of Curry-Thompson-Barnes is higher, but would you pick them in a match-up against Davis-Richardson-Jackson (as they were in 2007)?  Not me.  Way too soft mentally.   I assume Myers and Jackson expect Bogut to lead, but that's another wait-and-see item.  Outside of him, the next closest thing to a leader on the current roster is probably David Lee.

I hear they're bringing Brandon Roy in for a workout... He's a pretty tough dude who can defend & rebound his position as well as anybody.  If the knee is healed, I really like him as someone to push Thompson for minutes at the 2 and occasionally handle the ball.  

Gotta retain Rush, imo, and it would be cool to get Kwame back.  Doubtful there's any chance to move Beidrins and RJ, but they are clearly the most expendable/least likely to contribute anything guys.

Cam: They've been leaderless for a very long time. I think that Bogut has the leader gene but I'm not sure about anyone else. Lee is good with the press and with saying the right thing to Dubs Management but I don't think he inspires anyone he plays with other than making them laugh on the bench. Steph can lead with his play, sort of a D-Rose type, but he's not going to be making any speaches. Klay looks asleep all the time and is still young.  But I do love this topic because leadership is one of the key things that takes a team to the elite level. Look at the focus and work ethic of the Thunder.  Los Spurs are full of leaders from coach through the big 3. The Celtics have the best warrior in the game (KG) and one of the better coaches in the game today. Even the Heat seem to have a good albeit strange team dynamic. Love how LeBron roots for his teammates and never really roles his eyes when they mess up like many stars do.

Roy would be fun to have but I've heard that someone (and I could see Lacob doing this) is going to pay him the full mid-level.  For a guy who has no knee and who's production was seriously limited in his last somewhat full season, this could be a mistake. It would be great to have Roy on this team...but at the right price of course.  I'd rather have Oden though. Ha!

I'm as high as you on Rush and Kwame. People like to hate on Kwame but he is a really big dude and can defend the hell out of the post.  Rush is just awesome in that second unit/heat check guy (more minutes if he is feeling it in a particular game).

I think they're gonna keep Maguire too.  And Jenkins and Tyler will be there, which is a decent bench (and who knows what Tyler can develop into?).

This will be a legitimately fun season to watch at least for a while to see what identity they want to have.  So much better than the Biedrins garbage every fanboy (including Owner) was throwing out there last summer. Ugh. Only 4 more months to go!

Balz: If you want your team to have the identity of being tough-minded, you need to have guys who will scrap and defend. Rush does that- better than any of their other perimeter guys. If they let him walk, they basically admit to being full of shit when they talk about defense.  Same goes for Maguire.

When I hear Meyers talk, he makes me feel like he gets it.  I'm more encouraged by him than anyone else in that organization, actually.  Whether he's on KNBR, or at a press conference, or doing Chronicle Live, he comes across as very matter-of-fact.  And he doesn't shove mindless catch phrases down our throats.  Maybe that's not a good quality in a GM, but I like it.

Rose is more of a leader than Steph imo, if only because he's more physically tough. Physicality may not be the end-all be-all of the equation, but if all other areas are equal, it gets the nod.  As his teammate, you may not know that he's going to make a play in crunch time, but you know that he's physically able of winning his match up, regardless of who it is. Can't say that for Steph.

The roster is looking pretty cramped. More moves will have to be made.  Try to get something for D-Wright? Cut C-Wright? Dump Gladness? Let Nate walk? I like all of those guys, but I don't love any of them...

Cam: Yeah in no way was I comparing Steph's style of PG play to D-Rose. Rose is a beast and Steph is a flitty elf. But Steph can find open shots with pull ups and floaters. His rhythm with the ball keeps the defense on their heels while defenders literally bounce off of Rose.  Steph is also an outstanding passer. So I think that both of these guys can find points to score and set their teammates up.  D-Rose is better at it, obviously (MV-frigging P). D-Rose actually can play defense with his strength and Steph can only go for steals. But both of these guys are quiet leaders. Heck, I think D-Rose is a mute.

I totally agree on Rush and Maguire. They have to keep these guys.  If they let either of these guys go (without signing someone like Darrell Arthur) then it proves that management's preaching of "defense" was bullshit.

If I had to guess I'd say Gladness, C Wright, and Mikki Moore are gone. Especially Mikki Moore. I can't even believe that guy made it on the hardwood. Almost as big of a mistake as trading Stack Jack for Jeffersen. I kid.

Myers is a good dude. I met him once when he was just signed on as assistant GM and heard him speak a few months back. He's very down to earth and is actually overly humble. Being a former agent who started from zero after UCLA and became successful, he can relate to the players really well. Plus, he is an incredible baller (played at UCLA) and was a Bay Area star in High School.  Lastly, he's friends with Mark "Mad Dog" Madsen and that's just awesome.

Balz: I don't share your well-cultivated dislike of Mikki Moore, but I honestly haven't been paying much attention either.  All I see is an energy guy with limited skill, but I freely admit that I haven't been looking closely.  If it was my call, I'd get rid of him if for no other reason than so you can be pissed off at someone else. Hehe.

Maybe someone like Miami will give us a draft pick for Dorell?  At the very least someone would probably pick him up off waivers ?  With the roster we have, his salary may be more of a burden than his play is a blessing.  I'd like to be wrong in this assessment, though, because he seems like a nice enough dude. 
Cam: There's no need to get into a discussion on Mikki Moore. He's that terrible. But I forgot to speak about Dorrell! He's a mystery to me and I have no idea what they'll do with him. I'm sure he is being shopped and I hope they can get something for him. Wright had every opportunity to man up last season and just crumbled. I think he'd just be a bad egg on the roster of someone who had such a great year two seasons ago but no longer deserves more than 12 minutes a game. Remove the stank with heavy brillo pad scrubbing in hot shower!

I hated at the time and still hold deep seeded angst that the Warriors stooopidly used their amnesty provision on Charlie Bell so that they could be a pawn make a terrible RFA offer to DAndre Jordan last off season. That was hands down the worst move that this new front office made.  Such a killer.  Imagine having Biedrins off the books? A close second was trading Stack Jack for RJeff's huge 2 year contract. The luxury tax is no joke now and making a mistake like that is what mediocre/bad teams do. Seriously, how bad could Stack Jack have been when he's trying to land a new deal? And with an expiring contract he would have definitely had value RIGHT NOW. Lacob n' crew listened to the dumb message board chatter on Golden State of Mind and the franchise (and the fans!) are going to pay for it. Heck, at least every move isn't terrible like it used to be under the Cohen era.  Man, our fan expectations (fanspectations?) are really low.
Balz: Do you think that the current roster can get either a 7 or 8 seed in the west?

Cam: Only if I place money on them to not make the playoffs.


Thursday, July 5, 2012

The Magic Card

Magic Johnson's new Prepaid Card

Now you can have a piece of Magic Johnson in your life! The Magic Card is the latest venture from corporate mogul/NBA Hall of Famer Ervin "Magic" Johnson.  Now you can go see Magic Mike at Magic Johnson AMC in Largo, MD and pay for it with your Magic Card!

The fees seem very low with a $4.95 start up fee and a $4.95 monthly fee when compared to other Prepaid Card ripoff scams. So props to Magic for not being a total dick and ripping off his fan base.  If you are the type that doesn't use a bank account (hiding cash, don't trust the government, have terrible credit) then The Nextian recommends this card.

Enjoy your movie!

Monday, June 25, 2012

Talking Heads vs. Real Basketball Discussion



Why Did LBJ shoot more from the left side in 2012 Finals? Because he "wanted it" more?
 Question: if LBJ played like 2012 Finals LBJ in the 2011 NBA Finals would the Heat have won? Skip Bayless would undoubtedly say "yes".

Better question: could LBJ have even played "this way" in the 2011 Finals if he had wanted to? Mark Cuban would say "no way".

No matter how good you are you can't just "do what you want" on the basketball court.  It is a team game where you react to what the defense gives you.  And based on what Cuban gives to us before being interrupted by the non-game watching Skip Bayless the 2011 Mavs threw some intricate and changing defensive sets at the Heat last year.  Cool.

Regardless, at least enjoy the first video below before ESPN takes it down to save face:



Here is StephenASmith complaining about access:



Thanks to Ball Don't Lie for the videos and Deadspin for the shot charts

LBJ & The Great Con of Sports

"There's never been any question that LeBron James is a great basketball player. And even when he was coming up short in the playoffs, haters like myself just used those failures as an easy excuse to pile on him further, because he's a dipshit and he deserved it. The fact that he's won a championship doesn't fundamentally alter his character in any way. That's the great con of sports: the idea that winners win because they have character and losers lose because they don't. If you think LeBron is a good guy now because he won a title, then you probably had no business thinking he was a bad guy to begin with, because the outcome of a sporting event says nothing about the person within."

Thanks to Deadspin.com for the quote

Regardless, I need to get me a t-shirt with my face on it just like LeBron. I don't know if that would make me an a-hole or awesome. Probably both.

Monday, June 18, 2012

Headband Girl


There are some freak nasty girls in Miami. Who wants to go? Bring your white attire.
(thanks Grantland)

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Good Job, Good Effort Kid vs. Grizzlies Kid

Which fan kid wins?

After Heat Game 5 Home Loss to Celtics to go down 2-3:



After a Z-Bo finish during the Grizz/Clips series

Friday, May 11, 2012

Why the Knicks Got "Courtesy Swept" by the Heat


The NY Knicks got Courtesy Swept* by Los Miami Heat a few days ago.  One of the reasons the Knicks aren't that great is because of Carmelo Anthony.  This picture hanging above his mantle of HIMSELF is one of the reasons he just doesn't get it.

Now enjoy this "Melo" by Stevie Wonder:




* a "Courtesy Sweep" is when a team is up 3-0 in an NBA series, plays Game 4 half-ass'd and loses by a few points thereby giving the crappy squad down 1-3 some sort of excitement, and then destroys said crappy squad when they actually try in Game 5.  Most 4-1's are Courtesy Sweeps (thanks to J.E. Skeets at TBJ in "The Fix" daily videocast for defining the "Courtesy Sweep")

Awkward High School Photos


Please peep this hysterical post of NBA'ers High School photos.  How did this guy get all of these pictures?  The internet is most definitely a powerful drug.

NBA Playoff Charts


If you enjoyed these, read the rest HERE

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

JaVale McGee: "Can't Say I Do"

Well, one Wizards fan/blogger is happy to see JaVale gone:

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

The Spurs vs. The Bobcats: A Tale of Two Franchises

The Spurs finished this lockout shortened "Last Week of 2011/2012" Season at 50-16 tying for the best record in The Association with Los Bulls. The Charlotte Bobcats finished with a record of 7-59 setting the lowest win percentage in history of The Association at .106.

Former Bobcats Coach Paul Silas had enough of Boris Diaw's lazy ways and made sure the franchise waived Diaw on March 21st, 2012. On March 23rd, he was signed by the San Antonio Spurs.

Boris Diaw started Game 1 of the Western Conference First Round vs. The Jazz and is set to start Game 2 alongside Tim Duncan. He is playing well.

Paul Silas was fired by Bobcats Majority Owner Michael Jordan and GM Rod Higgins yesterday. Spurs coach Greg Popovich just won his 2nd Coach of the Year award.

The Spurs have won 4 NBA Championships and are going to have another great shot this year. The Bobcats made the playoffs once a few years back and may have even won a game.

Is Boris probably playing a bit harder on the Spurs? Yeah, most likely. Are the Spurs worried about having someone with the stink of Charlotte still on him? RC Buford can probably give a crap.

A tale of two Franchises (sorry if you thought this post was going to be all about Boris Diaw in his underwears).

Monday, April 30, 2012

Michael Jordan -- Failing as Bobcats GM?

A nice little Outside The Lines diddy on MJ the Owner:

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Billy Hunter's Nepotism

Gold watch!
 I always had a feeling that there was something wrong with Billy Hunter. In 1998 he led the NBPA to not start the season until February which caused Latrell Spreewell to play in the NBA Finals as a Knick.  This time around he not only starts the season late by first trying to file a federal suit against the NBA instead of just decertifyinig the Union from the get-go (which all the player agents wanted to do) but he also has his Union agree to unprecedented givebacks to those a-hole owners.  His snooty BS Report with Bill Simmons last October didn't help his image, either.

More recently, though, Billy gets the Players Union Reps to ask Union President D-Fish (aka Kevin Johnson Junior) to step down after Fisher requested an audit of the NBPA. Everyone knows that D-Fish will either be apart of Obama's cabinet in the 2nd term or become a Mayor of some midsize US City within 5 years of his retirement.  Derek Fisher is a golden god.  He may be a flopper on the hardwood but as the Union President he's not whining to any official.  Fisher decided not to listen to the Player Reps and still holds his Presidential role.

Just today, Wojo and Rand Getlin (Yahoo! Sports' in-house lawyer writer) drop THIS BOMB complete with cool little US Today-esq pie charts and everything.  C'mon now, Billy.  Giving $7-$9 million in Players Association funds to a failed investment bank where Billy Hunter's son just happens to sit on the board? Only using legal council where Billy Hunter's daughter happens to work?  That's some sketchy ass'd nepotastic bullcrap right there.  Who does he think he is, a partner at JP Morgan or something?

Wojo and Getlin were obviously holding on to this report until the perfect moment.  Hunter probably couldn't pay off the bribe fast enough to squash this story.  Either that or Fisher won the bidding war and was able to make $ure that this story was released at a perfect time.

Reality shows can't hold a match to real life sports drama!

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Mikki Moore Plays 28 Minutes in Win


When you are outright tanking because you have a top 7 protected pick you hire this guy, pay him $143,416 and play him 28 minutes.  Then you get an accidental comeback win over the Rubio-less/Love-less Minnesota Timberwolves.  If there is any way the Warriors can somehow have Charles Jenkins come down with a hammy injury for these last two games then the Warriors should be able to keep their pick.

And with the 7th pick the Warriors will select Perry Jones of Baylor. Wait, I thought that this was supposed to be a good draft?  Eventually management will treat him like Anthony Randolph or Brandon Wright and ship him out for pennies on the Euro.  But nobody will care because Perry Jones doesn't understand how to play basketball.  At least Mikki Moore will no longer be on the team.

Thursday, March 29, 2012

Kobe Faith Hilling

I advise watching the latest South Park episode HERE

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Kenneth Faried: Definition of Going Hard

As playing time has opened up on the Denver roster due to injury, Nuggets Rookie Kenneth Faried has recently become a double-double machine. He doesn't have a sweet cross over, his three ball is non-existent, and his post moves are unrefined to say the least. But he does hustle his ass off.



Props to NBA Playbook

Disclosures: I prematurely sold a long position in Kenneth Faried before February 1st and now some other manager is reaping the fantasy rewards of this unstoppable force.

Friday, March 2, 2012

Blake Griffin is Smug

"I didn't do anything!  Moooooom!"
 I’m beginning to have a problem with Blake Griffin.  His hi flying jams and quick strike alley oops have set the NBA world a’blaze and he has made more ESPN Top 10 Plays of the Day in his first 100 NBA games than anybody in the history of time (time began on September 7th, 1979 with the launch of ESPN).  OK, that’s a guess.  But it’s an educated guess (I went to UC Davis and minored in “Guessing”).

I have a problem with Blakers because showtime has gotten to him.  I can’t fault him for dunking over a Kia at All-Star Weekend last year and now being a spokesman for them.  A man’s gotta get paid.  But the way that Blake mean mugs officials after 80% of his challenged shots or drives is getting very annoying.


Greatest dunk since Cedric Ceballos was "blindfolded"
Watch a full Clippers game and you will see Blake not get back on defense on more than one occasion as he is consulting with an offending referee.  Even when he makes the shot/dunk he mean mugs an official. I’m not sure why he wants to get to the line anyway since he’s such a terrible Free Throw shooter.  Dude, Blakers, your free throw misses are hurting your image, m’kay?  Kia doesn’t like that.

It must have something to do with being a big time baller in LA.  Blake’s “I got fouled!” reactions are very similar to those of Kobe Bean Bryant.  LA is the world capital of smug.  But, Blake, others have fought through the smug force and you can too.
Blake Griffin’s slo-motion jump shot set up and release are in stark contrast to his lightning quick dunks. It’s like the yin and yang of his basketball game need to be balanced as slo-mo J’s even out his “let’s watch that on slo-mo on the DVR again” dunks.

Blakers is only in his 2nd year so I’m sure his Free Throw percentage will improve and his jumper will be a summer project after his 4th or 5th year when he feels the first tinge of “I can’t jump like I used too!” hit his knees.  Then he can become a top 10 player in The Association.

But stop staring down the officials, OK Blake? You look like a total smug dick on Tiger Woods level "respond to reporter" (Tiger grew up in LA, btw).  You have time to change.