Thursday, July 30, 2009

Definition of NEXT


I know some Dudes (kinda) who were at Summer League. Not, not in Orlando but in Vegas. Sweet. They went to the Dubs game where Randolph went off and won in OT. Those dudes know some other dudes who went to the Team USA game last week where all the potential future Team USA ballers played against eachother.

I didn't ask for permission to post these electronic mail transmissions, so hopefully this blog won't blow up and get all huge and linked to Sportsguy or Deadspin or whoever. I think that one of these Dudes is a lawyer and he might know how to sue The Nextians, LLC for all of the $487 we've made since inception from advertisements and those titty shirts we printed on Cafe Press that a few people bought.

Anyway, here's the Summer League Game Analysis:

D and J's Thoughts on the First Annual NBA Summer League Experience in Vegas

Do you remember going to high school basketball games? There was the small gym and a food stand where students or parents sold dogs, granny goose chips and sodas out of a make-shift cooler in order to raise money for various school organizations. Local grammar school kids would run around dreaming of wearing a "letterman's" jacket one day and cheerleaders would pluck people out of the stands to perform at strange and embarassing halftime promotions. Neighboring high school players and coaches would attend and scout the competition and former high school players would come back to bask in their former glory.
Now take all of the memories and images outlined above and then replace the high school teams with former college stars and aspiring, hungry, and developing NBA players (and tack on Anthony Randolph and Stephen Curry). Replace your sophomore PA announcer with some play-by-play guy whose voice you recognize but whose face you don’t and David Aldridge doing color while texting non-stop (presumably trying to pin down the latest trade rumor). Your high school cheerleaders are now EA Sports chicks wearing short shorts. The former high school stars returning to campus are replaced by Shareef Abdur-Rahim, Jarred Jeffries and Jamal Crawford. Neighboring high school scouts are replaced by Paul Westphal, Rick Carlisle and Larry Riley – not to mention the coaches are Keith Smart and Pete Carrill (a/k/a Yoda). Welcome to the NBA Summer League in Las Vegas.
As the Sports Guy wrote in a column last year (, the NBA Summer League has to be sport’s most well kept secret. Upon walking into the Cox Pavilion (where the UNLV women's basketball team plays and worked the event), we experienced this alternative universe. (SportsGuy says it seats 3,000, but even that number is hard to believe – we’re talking about 20 rows up each side of the court with no stands behind either hoop). As we walked up the stairs to the venue, we said hello to the annoying Warrior tool-box who carries around the microphone during timeouts at Oracle. As the Lakers-Cavs game ended, we immediately found seats in the SECOND ROW AT CENTER COURT behind the table for announcers for’s live feed. A few minutes later, we found three open seats in the front row directly behind Aldridge. If you listened or watched the game through NBA TV or, there is no way that you did not hear us (as well as two new friends) asking color analyst David Aldridge to call out the refs when a call did not go our way. In fact, whenever we weren't sure how many rebounds Randolph had or how many points Curry put up in the second half, we would just look over DA's shoulder to see his live stat ticker (see pictures). Being that we were basically on the court watching the action, we couldn't help but notice a few things:
(1) Stephen Curry is small and skinny (listed at 6'3, 185 but no more than 6'2, 170), looks like he is 12 years old, and clearly has great rapport already with the team. He shook off a very slow start (1 for his first 10 from the floor and an ankle sprain) to light it up effortlessly in the 2nd half with (a strangely quiet) 27 points after halftime. The guy can score in bunches. He’s a lot like Monta only with an outside shot. Still not exactly sure how they’ll defend on the court at the same time, but the offensive games are there. To answer Jeff’s question, he’s a lot quicker than Belinelli – much more like Monta.
(2) Anthony Randolph has become a monster (in addition to flying around the court asking for and getting the ball whenever and wherever he wanted, he also had back-to-back blocks (among his five total) that were somehow not called goal-tends made out of shear disgust for the opposition and the refs were too stunned to blow the whistle). His 15-20 foot jumper is silky smooth as is his ball handling in the open court. It did look like he’d grown a bit and definitely put on muscle since last year. Can you say “Point-Center”?; Final line: 24 points on 10 for 13 shooting with 11 boards, 2 assists, 2 steals and 5 blocks in 37 minutes.
(3) Cartier Martin is not only "The New Azubuike" (smart, physical wing player who will make an NBA squad this year), but he also had Jacques thinking hard about dropping 5 large on a watch before we left;
(4) Tyreke Evans is going to be a star – he was the best player on the court not named Anthony Randolph – got to the rim at will and had a better outside shot than we’d expected;
(5) Jamal Sampson has gained at least 15 pounds of upper body muscle since his Cal days; and
(6) Jared Jordan is still white (got 4 minutes of action for the W’s late) – see Sports Guy’s article for the connection.
Here is the game recap: I think the spirited cheering section needs to take some credit for the come from behind W’s overtime victory. Randolph and Curry weren’t going to be denied in this one.
More fun – besides the hoops – Toward the end of the first half, the two EA sports girls asked us to participate in the half time "shoot out" where we could have won the latest NBA X-Box video game. Fearing that this was somehow connected to a dance competition and coupled with our lack of basketball activity over the past 10 years, we politely declined. At half-time and early in the second half, we greeted Larry Riley, Paul Westphal (new Kings coach) and Rick Carlisle (Mavs were playing next) to "our booth" as they conducted their NBA TV interviews. Since they were only about 6 feet away, we couldn't help but notice that Larry Riley is chubby and likes to chew tobacco. As we got up to buy a hot dog, we gave a "Go Bears" salute to Shareef Abdur-Rahim, now a Kings coach. After hanging with his entourage in the lobby at half-time, Shareef came back to "our booth" for an Aldridge interview.
One theme to remember next year when the 2nd annual pilgrimmage will take place: "Be careful when ridiculing players!" Summer league is full of rusty and ugly plays and players. We couldn't help but shake our heads and laugh at players like Sacto's Omri Casspi (from Israel). Turns out his father and wife (or maybe sister) were sitting next to us. Thankfully we identified this early on and were able to avoid an awkward moment.
After the win, Randolph came over to "our booth" for an Aldridge interview (see pictures). We and our new friends cheered like school girls and made sure that AR acknowledged Devon's Randolph jersey (which we’ve still not seen another one of – thanks to Justin Sweder for finding it early last year; some schmuck before the game even thought it was a Webber jersey…. Idiot). Anyway, we reminded AR that he is now to be called "Franchise." That's it. One word. Just FRANCHISE (now in all caps).
On an absolute high, we decided to leave during the 1Q of the Mavs/Rockets game so we wouldn't be late for our dinner reservation at Il Mulino (where we saw Jared Jeffries). Walking down the stairs, we noticed someone next to us holding onto the bannister with a painful limp. Looking to our left, there was Jermareo Davidson trying to get down the stairs to greet his family. We called him our “Secret Weapon” to our new friends during the game since he actually had some NBA minutes last year unlike most guys on the court, but “Poor-Man’s Varajeo” (our other nickname for him) didn’t necessarily deliver, huffing and puffing his way through 9 minutes on the court. He is clearly out of shape and trying to recover from off-season surgery. Looking at his wrapped ankle and seeing his family wearing his jersey below, we can't help but root for him to make the team.
CONCLUSION: Curry is good. Randolph is incredible. He will be the MVP of the All-Star Frosh/Soph game, if he doesn’t make the real All-Star team – hell, he’ll play both days; the guy was born to dominate. Summer League has become an annual tradition. We will book tickets as soon as the 2010 Summer League schedule is released.
*Side notes: Jamal Crawford and his entourage are terrible blackjack players. "Trichelle" from Real World Las Vegas still hangs out at Vegas clubs, is taller and more attractive than we thought.
Please let me know if you have problems viewing the photos.
You are invited to view brennaritch's photo album:
Vegas 09

OK, that was pretty decent. I like the pictures. Now here's another Dude's take on the Team USA game last week:

Here are some quick hits from Team USA:

Awesome, awesome event! Didn't have quite the high school feel of summer league as it took place in the larger Thomas and Mack center, but I still appreciated the lack of over-the-top PA effects and early 90's techno music. We essentially saw the "all-NBA-up-and-comers" team scrimmage from 6 rows back for $60 bucks, with squeaky shoes as the ambient noise.
FRANCHISE displayed what I mostly expect from this season - moments of complete awe at his full potential, mixed with moments of "I'm not sure he knows what to do with the ball right now". He had 2 of the most jaw-dropping dunks of the game in a night of many memorable plays, both of flavor of: 1) rebound 2) handle and run the ball up the court in less than 8 steps 3) throw down a fierce dunk in middle of traffic. That's just a skill he has that no other player on the court could come CLOSE to mimicking, even Durant or Josh Smith. He looks unbelievably fluid bringing up the ball after a rebound, and both times, nobody in the gym had "randolph dunk" as a logical possibility to finish the drive. In the last minute, he had a nice little jab, step-back jumper from 18 feet that was my favorite FRANCHISE play of the night. On the down side, he had a few plays where he pump faked a wide open look,only to dribble into trouble and throw up a more difficult, contested shot. Overall, he looked like he belonged, which is certainly enough to hang your hat on, considering the makeup of the roster.
Sorry to say Devon, but Coach K has turned me into a UNC fan. We approached him before the game for a picture. As we approached, he turned around, gave us the heisman, and dismissively said "I'm not doing that today." This is Coach K! The fatherly mentor figure!! I was lost for words. Any words to defend your boy?
I felt bad for Michael Beasley, who was sitting courtside. He couldn't have wanted to be in the game any more badly, and started shooting around during half-time. I guess that's the price you pay for being absolutely
out of your mind.
Fittingly awful Vegas-esque timeout performances - C- fake elvis literally booed off the court, inappropriately dressed high-school cheerleaders with no apparent dancing ability or sense of rhythm, absolutely horrible military barbershop quartet (still received a deserved standing O)
Stock up:Russell Westbrook: Unbelievable on-the-ball defense (stole in-bounds pass twice), great size for a PG. He would look awfully great next to Curry or Ellis.Kevin Love: Just plays the right way. Never out of control. Ferocious rebounder - maybe one of the best I've seen over the past season. Would be an IDEAL PF / C in nellie's system, especially considering his passing ability.Brook Lopez: Just knows how to move around in the paint, and had an efficient "60% FG% + 8-12 boards" kind of night. Doesn't have his back to the basket game quite yet, but he reminded my of a more skilled version of Beans.FRANCHISE: As I mentioned before, he just does things on the court that no one else can do. We need to get him a mentor.Rudy Gay: 11-12 from the field, and just looked better than a lot of guys out there.Stock Even:Kevin Durant: I am a huge, huge KD fan, but he really didn't play as well as his #'s would indicate. Sort of a ball hog for the night.Stock down:Josh "the walking turnover" Smith and Andre "the walking field goal attempt" Iguodala. Both were absolute ball-stoppers on the offensive end, and both seemed to be allergic to the lane.Derrick Rose: Looks like he already knew he was on the team. Didn't exert himself at all in a losing effort.

These Dudes rule.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Matt Steinmetz on The Warriors

A pretty good analysis on the current state of the Warriors by Matt Steinmetz last week on the Razor & Mr T KNBR show:

And with an attempt to not dude it up too much, here is a picture of some Warrior Girls at the Dubs Draft Night party a few weeks back:

Friday, July 24, 2009

Stephon Marbury; Live on UStream ALL DAY

Enjoy yourselves watching Stephon Marbury not make any sense for 24 straight hours. I've been playing this in the background all morning long and it has not disappointed:


Thursday, July 23, 2009

Health Care Reform & The NBA

Simple analysis gives us information that most NBA players are President Obama supporters and left leaning Democrats. Heck, even Czar Stern is a huge Democrat if his past party donations tell us anything. Of course, there are Republicans in the mix. Famously, Greg Anthony was the head of the Young Republicans at UNLV back in his college days. But unlike the PGA Tour, players in the National Basketball Association are largely Democrats and big time President Obama supporters.

Let's take a look at a well done NBA video with players and Phil Jackson commenting on the Inauguration of newly elected Barack Obama:

The sappy music, the famous Shepard Fairey Obama Art in the background and Antwan Jamison's tear jerking reminiscence make this video great.

Now let's turn to Obama's policies. Specifically, the recent Health Care Reform that President Obama spoke about last night (7/22/09) on TV. Debate on the actual design of the legislation has come a long way over the past few months (even though the ideas have been around for waaaay longer than that) but here is what has been discussed:

Employer Mandate: No, this has nothing to do when your Employer makes you go out to dinner with other men in your company. It has to do with penalizing those Employers who don't offer health insurance for their Employees. These tax penalties would be used to help subsidize the health insurance costs of individual care (meaning, those that have to go through medical underwriting hell to land their own individual policy with a private carrier).
WOULD THIS AFFECT THE NBA? Heck no. NBA'ers have awesome coverage at 100% for the rest of their lives so The Association nor Teams would have to pay anything.

Health-Care Benefits Tax: Health Insurance premiums paid by Employers for their Employees are currently seen as normal business expenses and are not taxed. This idea would tax Health Insurance premiums paid by Employers for their Employees and the taxes would fund whatever type of plan the Administration comes up with to cover the 47 Million who are currently uninsured.
WOULD THIS AFFECT THE NBA? Yes, but only on the Employer (NBA/Teams) end as they are the ones paying for the Health Coverage of their players. These tax costs would obviously trickle down to NBA player salaries. What, you think the Owners are going to suddenly be able to absorb this tax burden in times like these? Puh-lease.

Surtax On The Wealthy: Now this is the direction the Health Care Reform legislation is headed. Last week, House Democrats put forth this idea which was supported by President Obama in his speech last night. Here's how the Surtax breaks down: If your household makes over $350K/year (or $280K/year as an individual), you will start by paying a 1% tax for the program. This percentage slowly climbs until you make over $1 Million/year where your tax will jump to 5.4% of your income.
WOULD THIS AFFECT THE NBA? Oh hellllll yes Gina! I have no time to crunch salary numbers but I would guess that 70% of the NBA players make over $1 Million per year. Ouch.

Just for fun, lets go back to the NBA'ers in the Inauguration video above and see how much they would have to pay if, hypothetically, the plan was passed and the 5.4% tax was in play for the entirety of the 2009-10 season (NBA Salaries attained HERE):

Caron Butler: $9,780,970 in '09-'10 salary = $528,172 of Health Care Reform Tax
Amare Stoudamire: $16,378,325 in '09-'10 salary = $884,430 of Health Care Reform Tax
Chauncey Billups: $12,100,000 in '09-'10 salary = $653,400 of Health Care Reform Tax
Rashaard Lewis: $18,876,000 in '09-'10 salary = $1,019,304 of Health Care Reform Tax
Antwan Jamison: $11,614,095 in '09-'10 salary = $627,161 of Health Care Reform Tax
Ray Allen: $18,776,860 in '09-'10 salary = $1,013,950 of Health Care Reform Tax
Stephen Jackson: $7,650,000 in '09-'10 salary = $413,100 of Health Care Reform Tax
Carmelo Anthony: $15,070,550 in '09-'10 salary = $813,810 of Health Care Reform Tax
Chris Paul: $13,758,000 in '09-'10 salary = $742,932 of Health Care Reform Tax
Mo Williams: $8,860,000 in '09-'10 salary = $478,440 of Health Care Reform Tax
Phil Jackson: $10,300,000 in '08-'09 salary (couldn't find '09-'10 salary) = $556,200 of Health Care Reform Tax

Grand Total of Next Season's Contribution for these listed NBA'ers? $7,730,899!! We're well on our way to the expected $544 Billion in tax dollars needed to expand the US health care system.

Hopefully these guys are on the phone with their accountants. Would a hit to the paycheck cause Obama-supporting NBA players to suddenly change their minds about their President? I sure as heck hope not. Will the Washington Wizards and Chicago Bulls feel great about having President Obama sit a few rows back at their games? Hummm....

Even if those wacko "Birth Certificate" conspiracy theorists try to knock him down, the historical significance of President Obama cannot be stated enough. But isn't it funny when the honeymoon period wears off, support numbers go down, and tough decisions have to be made that policies, and not fluffy idealistic speeches, affect Americans? No President is ever perfect and nor are we as U.S. Americans. But if this Reform goes through and rich people's paychecks are docked some pretty significant dollars, will we hear a peep from any NBA players? Probably not. They spend $2 Million dollars a year on Bentleys.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Hang Time

Thanks/Shout-Out/Props to Hadleigh for directing us to "Hang Time" from the '90s in the "Buzzer Beat" comments. May you enjoy your trip down memory lane. For me, it was watching Hang Time being totally hung over at the Frat House trying to figure out why girls and guys played on the same team. The show has even more comedy in present day as Regie Theus was the Season 3 coach. I think Dick Butkis was the Season 4 coach. Enjoy:

Jerry Buss/Lamar Odom Contract Negotiations

This Hitler scene has been way overdone. But this one showing the Hitler character as Jerry Buss is hilarious. Enjoy:

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Buzzer Beat, The Series

I'm hoping for one of two things to happen: they either translate this Japanese Show into Engrish or an English speaking version is created. This looks FUCKING AWESOME:

Friday, July 17, 2009

BS Report with Kevin Love (Splash!)

I learned a lot from this Simmons Podcast. Like how Kevin Love misses having McHale around as his coach, how he is jealous of Brian Westbrook on the Thunder, and how he compares the guys who came out of his High School graduation class as one of the best ever rather than talking about his NBA draft class. Very Good stuff.

Check the BS Report HERE

Be sure to follow K-Love on Twitter HERE


Just wanted to pass along a great new comic. Meet Raaaaaaaandy:

See more of Raaaaaaaandy at Laugh Your Dick Off.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Michael Jackson Tributes by NBA'ers

This first NBA'er Michael Jackson tribute comes from the ever amazing Ron Artest. It took him a week, but Ron Ron laid down a track about MJ being his nigga. Artest has the means to turn out jams whenever he wants with a record under his belt on Tru Warier Records...which he also owns. My only question is why does Ron say he'll "see Michael next year"? Is Ron planning something after winning the NBA Championship next season?

Shaq follows Artest with a hilarious "Beat It" tribute involving a bunch of people in bathing suits, plastic knives, and a mis-spelling of "Michael" where he switched the "e" and "a" in text in the intro. What else could you expect from Shaqtus? Wait, what's his nickname now in Cleveland? Who the eff cares.

I Gotta Start Listening to Glenn Beck's Radio Show

THIS IS AMAZING (listen up to the 4:00 mark)

Blowups like this make me want to re-become a Republican. Fcukin' A, Glenn.

Mike Miller's Pet Monkey

Yet another telling of the infamous "Mike Miller's Pet Monkey Riding His Dogs Around The Neighborhood" story. This is one of my favorites of all time:

"I left the house one day when I was in Orlando and I got a call later from my neighbor, who said that my dogs and monkey were walking around the neighborhood. I had put the monkey up in his room and shut his door and put the dogs outside. But sure enough, when I got home, my monkey was riding the Great Dane and they were walking up and down the street. He had unlocked his door, gone downstairs and opened the door for the dogs and taken them for a walk."

Check out the article HERE and be sure to read it's links to the former Miller's Monkey articles.

D-Wade's Nelly Bandaid

Not only was D-Wade ripping off lame rapper Nelly during All-Star weekend this past season, but now he is profiting (for charity) off of the eye band-aide as well. If I see anyone on the YMCA Men's Wednesday Night "Top Gun" league court wearing one of these pieces of garbage, they're getting a raptor claw to the other eye by yours truly. Look out.

If you'd like to get your eyes poked by The OG Nextian, pick up some eye-band-aides HERE .....and then find me on the court, bitches.

White US American Action in Summer League

These pictures of Hansborough in SL action make me very happy. Watching him play with his mouth wide open is going to be great comedy. Here's hoping that Troy Murphy, Mike Dunleavy, Jeff Foster and Travis Diener take Tyler under their large, white American wings and mentor this impressionable Life Insurance Salesman well.

Fellow White American NBA Basketball Player Ryan Anderson now of the Magic has an incredible jump shooting style. Something I defintely want to mimic if I want to get my +10 feet FG% up. If you can fathom, Ryan's jump shooting percentage is 11% higher than his ability to lay the ball up right next to the bucket over tall defenders. CHECK IT

Best. Sign. Ever.

Thanks to JE Skeet's TWATTER PAGE for showing this.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Randolph Is All Growns Up!

Our hope, our potential Savior Anthony Frigging Randolph exploded in Vegas yesterday. No, not all over a whore's back but in a Summer League game vs. a bunch of guys who probably won't make the Bulls squad. His 42 points tied a Summer League record set by Marcus Banks (who was just shooting 3's and got hot). But Anthony's performance was definitely 2 Legit 2 Quit. Take a looksie:

Excitement for all Dubs fans? Oh hell yes. But what are the Warriors brass doing by actually having a 2nd year player who started many games last year play in Summer League? Well, I don't think they are as stupid as the Clippers Management who is having Eric Gordan wear himself down before the season (Baron & potentially AI? That's a different analysis/clusterfcuk altogether). Word on the curb is that Randolph grew a full inch and put on 20 pounds of muscle in the off season. Anthony is only 20 (his birthday is today 7/15!) and needs to boost his confidence and swagger even more. And this Summer League game obviously helped with that. Look at how fierce his moves are to the rim. Look at that And-1. Look at that anger! Look at them guns (sexy). Let's hope this isn't a "birthday game" and that Dubs Savior can become what he is destined to be: a BADD ASS

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Trading Places

These pictures just look really weird

Portlandians Hate Hedo

This article was too good to not pass along. Here is a Portland bloggers take on the Hedo situation. Something tells me the Hedo hate will die down once Trail Balzer Fans realize how lucky they were to get shafted by Turkoglu.