Wednesday, April 27, 2011

2011 Grizzlies vs. 2007 Warriors

Leave it to Bethlehem Shoals to write a diatribe comparing the 2011 Grizzlies and their 3-1 lead as an 8 seed over the 1 seed Spurs to the 2007 We Believe Warriors dismantling of the Mavs.  Essentially, the Grizz are closing the book on the Duncan 4-ring dynasty and no one sees anything other than a 4-1 victory.


Shoals (RIP Free Darko) makes the point that these 8 seeds have very little in common.  Although he did forget to mention that the 2007 Dubs went on a season ending win streak and won on the last day of the regular season to make the playoffs while the Grizz intentionally lost their last two games so that they could match up against the Spurs.  But I'll give him the benefit of the doubt because he is awesome.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

The Kings

Many of my Nextians went to UC Davis and became Kings Fans even though they weren't from the Sacramento area.  This was back in the days where Tivo didn't exist and the internet was used as an email machine and to download pictures of, well, you know what I'm talking about.  We couldn't watch our home team on TV or follow them on the internet.  For those of us from the Yay Yera, Warriors vs. Kings matchups were some of the most fun we had in front of the TV in college (aside from the OJ Trial, first season of South Park, last season of Seinfeld).  We'd sit in the Segundo Dorms or Arlington Farms Apartments with cheep beer and and watch Kings games with a passion.  My Sophomore year roommate even worked for the Kings pushing a button courtside that revolved the on-court advertisement panel.  He loved being there even though the job paid him $5.50 an hour which he spent most of in gas money just to get there and back.  The 2002 team was an incredible ride and much of our Laker hatred stems from Horry's 3 pointer and the official's screwing the Kings out of Game 6.  And even though most of us are in the Bay Area and can now be more committed Warriors fans, the Kings still have a place in all of our hearts.  They essentially were our college team.

I was trying to formulate some ideas on everything that's going on in Czar Stern's office, with the Maloof's relocation push, with Mayor Kevin Johnson's attempts to keep the Kings, with local Sacramento businesses promising more advertising money, and most importantly with the fans.  It was difficult to figure it all out.  All I know is that Sacramento really cares about their team.  Like they care as much about it as the Seattle Supersonics fans did about their hijacked franchise.

But then Sportsguy Bill Simmons wrote a great piece (finally!) on the Maloofs and said everything I didn't have the time or skill to compile.  It's not about DumbMarcus Cousins or Tyreke Evans or the inflated Beno Udrich salary.  It's about how the owners are trying to screw the city of Sacramento and are hopefully not going to be successful. It's about Czar Stern and his pandering to the owners of a franchise while giving a far less shit about the fanbase.  It's exposing the truth to what is wrong in the NBA today.  Taking a loan from the city of Sacramento and then trying to get Anaheim to pay your relocation fees while you haven't even bothered to pay back your loan to the city you're trying to abandon?  At the risk of sounding angry, I will never set foot in the Palms Casino and their new billion dollar tower again.

YeeBA Champion Interview: Bilbo Burgular Baggins

Many of you know him as Bilbo Baggins, my sidekick on the NBA Weekly Chat where he disses and dishes on all things Association.  But he is also known as "James".  James is the guy who puts his nose to the computer screen and fancies himself a Fantasy Sports savant.  After so many years of not winning a legitimate Fantasy Sport, James has reeled off back-to-back championships in the YeeBA.  As if a title defense wasn't a good enough story, the way he won this year was nothing sort of EPIC.  Or perhaps I should say "amazing" since we are speaking about The Association and all.  Here is how he did it, in chat form of course.

Cam:  James, congratulations on winning the YeeBA for the second straight year!  It’s funny that last year’s victory was your first real fantasy sports title of your 128 years (editor’s note: he’s a hobbit) and you promptly came out and defended your title this year.  That’s some big shit!

Biblo used his winnings to purchase a snowmobile

 James/Bilbo:  Wait a minute, are you saying that my 2008 Fantasy Golf Championship wasn’t real? Is golf not a legitimate sport?

CamWinning a 4 man PGA Golf League is not "legitimate".  Back to the title at hand: Commish Toomie’s changing of the format from Rotisserie to Head to Head couldn’t stop you.  Can you tell me about your thoughts pre-draft?

James/Bilbo:  First of all, I was extremely lucky to win this year. While I had a plan from the beginning, things definitely did not go the way I intended. I knew I had to try something unique to compete against you fantasy geniuses so ignoring a category seemed logical in a H2H format. But I knew I didn’t want to go the traditional route of drafting Dwight Howard and ignoring FT%, so after careful consideration I chose to ignore points. The irony is by ignoring this category I had a horrible team FT% anyway, so that shows what I know.

Bilbo used what was left of his YeeBA cash to take his son to Disneyland

Cam: Winning a Fantasy Basketball League, especially the YeeBA with veteran managers, does require luck. But it seems as if you really took a risk drafting the way you did.

James/Bilbo:  I was extremely optimistic about the draft because people tended to overvalue scorers and ignore guys that get good stats but don’t average 20+ points. I had some good picks (Odom and Varejao) and some shitty ones (Brendan Haywood and Johnny Flynn) but overall I liked my team.

CamYour team was middle of the pack during the regular season finishing in sixth place.  But in the playoffs your guys turned it on winning all three rounds. Let the readers know how your season went.

James/Bilbo:  Things were going well and I was winning the categories I expected, but then the injury bug hit me. Rondo severely sprained his ankle in December and missed a few weeks. Then both my bigs went down (Camby & Noah). Then I lost Varejao for the year and I really thought I was done. Just trying to make up the 30+ board per game these guys generated seemed impossible. And yet I somehow hung on to 6th place.  But I knew I had to make a move to get into the playoffs, so for the second year in a row I got the best of Toomie in a trade. He needed 3’s so I gave him Ryan Anderson and Jason Terry for Holla Holla Iguodola who was the new point forward in Philly. With the return of Noah and Camby I had just enough to get into the playoffs. And by just enough I mean that the team I beat out had ONE more loss than me. That works out to .003 percentage points. Crazy.

Cam:  You got that right!  We were all making fun of you for barely qualifying for the playoffs with your team that you were originally so confident about.  But you knew that with the renewed health of your players that your team was actually rolling. Tell us about that playoff run.

James/Bilbo:  By trading away my 3’s I had a third category I was weak in. Luckily three’s could be had on the waiver wire so I rode Mike Bibby through the first 2 rounds, barely beating two exceptional managers. Then it was me and Oaktown, the other dark horse team that stormed through the playoffs. Not only were our team names oddly related (James' team name: Ghetto Physics), so too were our team strengths. It was a fierce battle, but in the end, I won by a narrow margin managing a couple of blocks more than my sexy opponent. You should have seen the victory party we had that night in The Shire. It was epic.

Bilbo beat the guy in the middle in the semi's (Bilbo on right)

 CamPipeweed and Hobbit Beer for the entire block! What a fiesta.  What are your final thoughts on all of this?

James/Bilbo: I guess my team was built to barely win, which did cause me a lot of stress, but it did prove that being a little unconventional can sometimes work. Now, if I could just do a little better in the Nextians league, maybe I could be a fantasy MVM like Toomie!

Cam:  You would have needed to finish higher than 7th in The Nextians League.  Regardless, congratulations on an exciting playoff run and thank you for spending time in the Nextian Grotto for this interview.

James/Bilbo:  I love the new spa jets you put in here and have always enjoyed the waitresses.

Monday, April 25, 2011

Chris Paul Is Better Than Kobe In Crunch Time

One of the more entertaining NBA Nerd arguments this season has been the analysis of Crunch Time stats.  Super stat-geeks say that someone like Kevin Martin of the Rockets is more valuable in Crunch Time while most players, coaches and GM's would prefer Kobe or LeBron with the nod given to Bryant as a sign of respect.

But when you look at actual team execution, the Two Time Defending Champion Lakers perform in the middle of the pack while the New Orleans Hornets are the most efficient scorers of the basketball.  As luck would have it, the Hornets and Lakers are playing each other in the first round of the playoffs and CP3 executed brilliantly at the end of yesterday's win to even the series 2-2.

Please PEEP Henry Abbott's analysis and be sure to read/watch the Sebastian Pruiti breakdown of this Crunch Time game deciding play.

The OG Nextian is here to give you the ammo needed to refute the Laker Fans.

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Top 10 Bloopers of the Season

Friday, April 15, 2011

THE Nextians Fantasy League Champion '10/'11 Season

Defending Nextians Champ gladly hands Electric Guitar Trophy to THE Curry Turkey
Cam: Scotty Effing Toomasson! Congrats on winning the ‘10/’11 We Got Next Fantasy Basketball 12 Manager Annual Rotisserie League of Awesomeness. I know that the Fantasy NBA League you Commission is a Head To Head League where you finished the regular season with the best record but ended up beating your's truly for 3rd place. This has caused Timmay to vote you the Most Valuable Manager this year. And since Timmay is the Czar of the MVM vote, congrats on that as well.

MVM Czar anoints his '10/'11 Award Winner
 Toomie: Thanks, brutha! I really enjoyed the Nextians season -- true rotisserie is still the best format, IMO... Timmay made we sweat things out a little at the end there (four-way tie for FG% going into the final day?!) , but all in all I think I had a pretty dominant run.

Cam: What would you say was your key to the ‘ship? You drafted really well.

Toomie: It never hurts to have the #1 pick. Unless it's football. The Durantula lived up to his billing as the #1 ranked player finishing #2 overall (I think?). He was HUGE in the PTs and FT% categories.

Drafting Kevin Love in the 4th round (#48) overall was fu*king steal. He singlehandedly won me the REBs title.

Serge Ibaka-Nacka in the 10th round? Solid...

THE Curry Turkey shoves it in the face of THE Pippen Ain't EZ (3rd Place)
 Cam: Solid indeed!  Now tell me about your trades. You were definitely wheeling and dealing this season making more trades than anyone else in The Nextians league. Usually that title goes to someone near the bottom just doing anything they can to move out of the doldrums. But your trades won you all the damn money.  So much damn money!

Toomie: My keys to victory were BOTH a solid draft and a couple key trades:

Trading Al-Jeff for Monta was awesome -- a true need-for-need deal that worked out both me and the Cammish. Who knew they'd both end up top 10 players, but damn, Monta really matured this year -- in fantasy and reality.

I'd have to say the key deal -- and props to the Nextian Summit for providing the fertile trade grounds -- was my Tyreke/Hibbert for Manu Manu Manu. (I could do no wrong after the best T-Shirt (Rambis) fell to me in the draft at #2)

I dealt Hibbert and Evans at their peak, though Ginobili went downhill just a tad as well after the trade... Both he and Monta were awesome in the 3's, STLs, and FT% categories mid-season and down the stretch.

And once I moved Love for PTs and ASTs, (Iguodala and Andre Miller), it was all over. I had enough in the other categories locked up so moving Love was no problem.

Off the record: I don't know why anyone in the league trades with me! I ALWAYS get the better of the deal (sarcasm).

Cam: Your winnings will be coming to you shortly. Make sure not to blow it all at the track and maybe take that little lady of yours out to some fine dining!

Toomie: Seriously, great season everyone! I’m looking forward to defending my title next year.

--THE Curry Turkey
‘10/’11 Most Valuable Manager (MVM) of Nextians/YeeBA Seasons, World Muthafkin’ Champ of The Nextians

Thursday, April 14, 2011

The Basketball Jones: In Memoriam

TBJ is a hilarious nearly daily show on The Score Network.  Here, the Intern on Guitar and Tas on Recorder play some beautiful music while Skeets, undoubtedly, edits the In Memoriam clips to go along with the music.

Enjoy your butts off watching this one.

TBJ: NBA In Memoriam 2010 - 2011 from The Basketball Jones on Vimeo.

Norm McDonald does Blake Griffiin


Kobe Bryant: Homophobia-Gate

Step 1: cut a hole in the box. Step 2: watch the video below and pay attention to the Kobe-slur at the 0:34 mark:

Referee Bennie Adams was the recipient of the words. All signs are pointing to Adams not being gay, by the way, so Kobe was more off mark with his anger filled post-toddler tantrum slur than he was in the 4th Quarter of Game 7 of the 2010 NBA Finals.

Czar Stern quickly smacked Kobe with a $100,000 fine saying:
"Kobe Bryant’s comment during last night’s game was offensive and inexcusable. While I’m fully aware that basketball is an emotional game, such a distasteful term should never be tolerated. … Kobe and everyone associated with the NBA know that insensitive or derogatory comments are not acceptable and have no place in our game or society."

Kobe then went on to make what I call a "Star Apology".  This is where the star's ego just won't let them admit that they are wrong and they first explain their side of the story and apologize only to "those who they may have offended." The Star Apology isn't a real apology.  This is especially true in Kobe's case since it was a statement released through the Laker organization:

"What I said last night should not be taken literally. My actions were out of frustration during the heat of the game, period.  The words expressed do NOT reflect my feelings towards the gay and lesbian communities and were NOT meant to offend anyone"

(Please note that capitalizing the word "not" is meant as an inflection. DUH)

Kobe doesn't get it.  He doesn't realize that he shouldn't be saying this word at any time.  It's kind of like non-black people dropping the N-Bomb. We live in America and our culture says that if you use any of these words you are an asshole, even if you do apologize for your mistake pretty well. Period point blank.  ASSHOLE.  Well, Kobe didn't apologize well and I hope there's some techno songs written about Kobe where this slur of his can live on and not just "go away" like Kobe hopes it will.

His refusal to really apologize is indeed disturbing.  Maybe he thinks that money (paying the $100K fine to the Czar) will make it all go away.  It seemed to have worked before.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Charlie Villanueva Goes Nuts

Charlie Villanueva (6th man on the Detroit Pistons, Haitian who loves his homeland, benefactor of Joe Dumars handing out money-fest 2009, Kevin Garnett punching bag) is fed up.  The Pistons have had a tough go of it this year and this fight is definitely seen as a venting of all that went wrong.  Charlie took out his frustrations on Ryan Hollins of The Cavs last night and only Rodney Stuckey (Point Guard!! Does this explain Villa-nu-nu's weakness on the boards?) could hold him back.  Thankfully, someone put the video to a sweet soundtrack that will keep you fist pumping for minutes:

But then things got even crazier in the bowels of The Palace of Auburn Hills:

Villanueva stormed onto the court and toward the Cleveland bench before he was restrained by several members of the Pistons staff. As he was being escorted and practically dragged to the back, Villanueva motioned for Hollins to meet him in the back as he was escorted into the Cavaliers' tunnel.

Hollins remained near the Cavaliers bench and was later escorted to the back.
In the back of the arena, Villanueva was seen running toward the Cavaliers' locker room before being stopped by police on the loading dock. The police used a giant mat to stop the sprinting Villanueva.

Two other police officers dragged Villanueva back to the Pistons' locker room as Villanueva was heard shouting, "I'm going to kill that dude."

Thanks to BDL for all information regarding this story.  I'm just a lowly messenger of things that I find interesting.

Monday, April 11, 2011

The LeBrons

The "hilarious" The LeBrons commercial from a few years back has made it's way into animated form.

I'm pretty darn sure that the makers of The Boondocks took some time off form a show that's actually good to make this stanky piece of web 2.0 marketing veiled in cartoon form.  Bing, Gucci, Nike, HP, Intel, Sprite.  Good work taking over the world on the way to Billionaire-hood, LBJ.

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Recruiting Carlos Boozer

The Chicago Bulls went all high-tech on Boozer when recruting him last summer.  Right before a meeting with the Heat, Chicago sent over a personalized i-pad straight to the Boozehound who was chillaxing in his hotel room.

PEEP THE ARTICLE and enjoy a few quotes from Carlos about the i-pad experience:

"I was going to have dinner with [the Heat], and right at 9 o'clock at night, a dude knocks on my door and I'm like, 'What's poppin'?'"

"It was the kickoff to free agency, so it was pretty dope"
"I still have it," Boozer said of the specialized Bulls iPad. "I have it at my crib here in Chicago. I still have the briefcase and everything."
Word Carlos. Word.

Monday, April 4, 2011

Too Macho

Henry Abbott, the fearless leader of ESPN's TrueHoop Blog, made an interesting speech at Dork Elvis' Sloan Sports Conference last month. In his presentation he wore a fantastic red tie. He then talked about how the over-emphasis of "macho" in basketball causes decision makers to overlook the less-manly qualities of the game and how a focus on wimpy-ness can be exploited for better output.

Henry starts off with an analysis of how much better Shaq could have been if he could have hit free throws Rick Barry Style. He then moves in to how The Lakers meditate through Zen Master's guidance and are the only team to do so while at the same time being our back to back NBA Champions (coinkadink?). The "Chris Paul in Crunchtime" debate is brought up again as the Hornets are far and away the most effective crunchtime team over the past 5 years.  Henry cites an NYT article about how NBA teams who touch eachother more (high fives, butt slaps, hugs, chest bumps) have better win percentages.  Skinny players are often overlooked commodities to NBA decision makers for some reason even though skinny dudes are awesome (I keep telling myself that and now I finally have validation).  Lastly, Abbott discusses the potential of female leadership in the game being a catylist for more effective teaching of impressionable millionaires.

PEEP THE VIDEO HERE . It's totally worth the time.........if only to gaze into Henry's dreamy eyes and envision giving him a chest bump after he posts another awesome blog post.  Wait a second, scratch that last sentence.

Congrats to Chris Mullin

Although the 2007 We Believe Team PR Push wasn't successful when he was the GM of The Warriors, Chris Mullin has made it into the Basketball Hall of Fame.  Please play the Mully highlight package below and turn up your speakers to enjoy the theme song: