Kobe Hero Ball; Learn From Jordan

Hey Kobe. Even Michael Jordan passed up Hero Ball every now and then. Especially when a streaking 43 year old Robert Parish is wide open for a game winning dunk. Can Robert Sacre catch? If so, he might be able to take one step, dunk, and win the game the next time you're triple teamed in crunch time.

NBA Rappers

Privaledge and Kevin Durant - Wired 

KD sounds pretty good starting at the 1:40 mark.  He certainly is a "young boy who is living old". Great line.

Stephen Jackson aka Stak5 "Shot Caller TRILLmix" Ft. French Montana


Stack Jack can spit, for certain. The video is pretty legit too with the beautiful Milwaukee skyline, Air Jordan 4's, and a nice hotel room suite. How long was Jackson a Buck again?

Louis Williams (NBA Philadelphia 76ers) Freestyle - Imma Boss  

Youtube commentors comment on Youtube that Lou is the best current NBA rapper. And the title suggests that he did this freestyle which is quite impressive.

Well, at least they're all better than a young Kobe:

 

USA Basketball Jacket

Of Course this was directed by the FreeDarko guys which is probably why I paid attention to Stalley's hipster-rapper beard talk to me about respecting the jersey. Kobe can verbally battle with MJ on if 2012 would beat 1992 and also bitch slap Czar Stern about a Team USA age restriction.  But it's all about the Red, White, and Blue, yo!

Anyone know how much this jacket costs? I tried to find it in the Nike Store.com but it took more than 3 minutes so I gave up.  Me googles no good.

Nash and Kobe: Will it Work?

I was reading 15 things You Should Give Up To Be Happy and was proud of myself for accomplishing a few of them.  Yes!

But then I started to think about Kobe Bean Bryant.  I know that he is incredibly confident so he's probably never engaged in "defeating self talk".  And he definitely does not "limit his beliefs".  Kobe is still the best player in the world in his head. But these are the only two boxes that I think Kobe can check on this list which must mean he is an incredibly unhappy person.  I kid. Having uber millions and hot babes (he's single!) makes for some happy times (but possibly not true happiness?)

Kobe is always right. He thirsts to be in control at all times.  He needs the ball and loves to shoot while double teamed.  There's no better feeling that Kobe has than when he nails an elbow jumper over the double team (with Pau sitting wide open on the baseline).  His shots per minute and usage rate are some of the highest in the league even at his advanced basketball age and with two All Star big men in the post. Man, that's just Kobe being Kobe.

But Kobe being Kobe will not work with Steve Nash in town.  Steve Nash only works when he is dribbling all over the half court probing the defense for opportunities. He's a master at setting his teammates up with easy, open looks if you just allow this to happen by being in the right spot on the court. Nash doesn't work when he just passes to a wing or enters the ball into the post and resets on the opposite side of the court.  Just ask Terry Porter and Shaq.  And if you ask him to be a "traditional" point guard you defeat the purpose of Nash. It's not like he helps a team's defense.

Will Kobe completely change his game with Nash in town?  Kobe likes to score, yes, but he also likes to dribble and create.  Dribbles and time with the ball feed the Mamba's ego. If he realizes this and cuts his time with the ball down, this can work. If Mike Brown asks Nash to be a traditional PG, this will not go well.

Thanks to Henry at TrueHoop for his piece which I blatantly stole from.

Kobe Faith Hilling

I advise watching the latest South Park episode HERE

Blake Griffin is Smug

"I didn't do anything!  Moooooom!"

 I’m beginning to have a problem with Blake Griffin.  His hi flying jams and quick strike alley oops have set the NBA world a’blaze and he has made more ESPN Top 10 Plays of the Day in his first 100 NBA games than anybody in the history of time (time began on September 7th, 1979 with the launch of ESPN).  OK, that’s a guess.  But it’s an educated guess (I went to UC Davis and minored in “Guessing”).

I have a problem with Blakers because showtime has gotten to him.  I can’t fault him for dunking over a Kia at All-Star Weekend last year and now being a spokesman for them.  A man’s gotta get paid.  But the way that Blake mean mugs officials after 80% of his challenged shots or drives is getting very annoying.

Greatest dunk since Cedric Ceballos was "blindfolded"

Watch a full Clippers game and you will see Blake not get back on defense on more than one occasion as he is consulting with an offending referee.  Even when he makes the shot/dunk he mean mugs an official. I’m not sure why he wants to get to the line anyway since he’s such a terrible Free Throw shooter.  Dude, Blakers, your free throw misses are hurting your image, m’kay?  Kia doesn’t like that.

It must have something to do with being a big time baller in LA.  Blake’s “I got fouled!” reactions are very similar to those of Kobe Bean Bryant.  LA is the world capital of smug.  But, Blake, others have fought through the smug force and you can too.
Blake Griffin’s slo-motion jump shot set up and release are in stark contrast to his lightning quick dunks. It’s like the yin and yang of his basketball game need to be balanced as slo-mo J’s even out his “let’s watch that on slo-mo on the DVR again” dunks.

Blakers is only in his 2nd year so I’m sure his Free Throw percentage will improve and his jumper will be a summer project after his 4th or 5th year when he feels the first tinge of “I can’t jump like I used too!” hit his knees.  Then he can become a top 10 player in The Association.

But stop staring down the officials, OK Blake? You look like a total smug dick on Tiger Woods level "respond to reporter" (Tiger grew up in LA, btw).  You have time to change.

Kobe Bashes Kwame Brown

Kobe Bryant didn't like playing with Kwame Brown. Thankfully Kwame helped the Warriors upset the Chicago Bulls with 4 steals of his own last night.

Power Balance Arena

Bilbo rocks a pink one when he plays softball

We've all heard the claims: little magnets in a bracelet will give you better balance, improved digestion, help you sleep better, provide smoother bowel movements, and replace your need for Cialis.  Well, most of those health benefits were claimed by Power Balance.

I'm pooping much better now

But these claims are total bullshiz according to something know as THE law.

So many NBA geniuses wore Power Balance that the cash strapped Maloofs Anaheim Sacramento Kings decided to sign a mult-year stadium naming rights deal with a company that couldn't and can't stop the rampant Chinese counterfeiting of it's one and only stupid product all over eBay.

Maloof Sister: Real Housewife of Spending Daddy's Money

 Dale Kasler of The Sacramento Bee: When sports-wristband maker Power Balance LLC filed for bankruptcy protection last month, the company insisted it would keep its name on the Sacramento Kings' arena. Now it looks like the name could be coming down less than a year after it went up. Cash-starved Power Balance expects to be sold soon, and court papers say the likely buyer doesn't plan to maintain the marketing deal that turned the former Arco Arena into Power Balance Pavilion. That could change between now and Dec. 20, when Power Balance's business is scheduled to be auctioned off. Hanyang LLC, the Southern California company in line to buy Power Balance, could choose to retain the contract with the Kings after all. Someone could outbid Hanyang and decide to keep the Kings' deal. "Don't jump to any conclusions," said Denny Barge, a principal in Hanyang. He indicated Hanyang didn't have all the data it needed on the Kings deal when it made its bid for Power Balance. (thanks to TrueHoop)

Chris Paul Is Better Than Kobe In Crunch Time

One of the more entertaining NBA Nerd arguments this season has been the analysis of Crunch Time stats.  Super stat-geeks say that someone like Kevin Martin of the Rockets is more valuable in Crunch Time while most players, coaches and GM's would prefer Kobe or LeBron with the nod given to Bryant as a sign of respect.

But when you look at actual team execution, the Two Time Defending Champion Lakers perform in the middle of the pack while the New Orleans Hornets are the most efficient scorers of the basketball.  As luck would have it, the Hornets and Lakers are playing each other in the first round of the playoffs and CP3 executed brilliantly at the end of yesterday's win to even the series 2-2.

Please PEEP Henry Abbott's analysis and be sure to read/watch the Sebastian Pruiti breakdown of this Crunch Time game deciding play.

The OG Nextian is here to give you the ammo needed to refute the Laker Fans.

Kobe Bryant: Homophobia-Gate

Step 1: cut a hole in the box. Step 2: watch the video below and pay attention to the Kobe-slur at the 0:34 mark:



Referee Bennie Adams was the recipient of the words. All signs are pointing to Adams not being gay, by the way, so Kobe was more off mark with his anger filled post-toddler tantrum slur than he was in the 4th Quarter of Game 7 of the 2010 NBA Finals.

Czar Stern quickly smacked Kobe with a $100,000 fine saying:
"Kobe Bryant’s comment during last night’s game was offensive and inexcusable. While I’m fully aware that basketball is an emotional game, such a distasteful term should never be tolerated. … Kobe and everyone associated with the NBA know that insensitive or derogatory comments are not acceptable and have no place in our game or society."

Kobe then went on to make what I call a "Star Apology".  This is where the star's ego just won't let them admit that they are wrong and they first explain their side of the story and apologize only to "those who they may have offended." The Star Apology isn't a real apology.  This is especially true in Kobe's case since it was a statement released through the Laker organization:

"What I said last night should not be taken literally. My actions were out of frustration during the heat of the game, period.  The words expressed do NOT reflect my feelings towards the gay and lesbian communities and were NOT meant to offend anyone"

(Please note that capitalizing the word "not" is meant as an inflection. DUH)

Kobe doesn't get it.  He doesn't realize that he shouldn't be saying this word at any time.  It's kind of like non-black people dropping the N-Bomb. We live in America and our culture says that if you use any of these words you are an asshole, even if you do apologize for your mistake pretty well. Period point blank.  ASSHOLE.  Well, Kobe didn't apologize well and I hope there's some techno songs written about Kobe where this slur of his can live on and not just "go away" like Kobe hopes it will.

His refusal to really apologize is indeed disturbing.  Maybe he thinks that money (paying the $100K fine to the Czar) will make it all go away.  It seemed to have worked before.

Why The Celtics will win the '10/'11 'Ship (Barring Injuries)

If a picture speaks a thousand words then I'm thinking that a picture of Kobe on the floor with only D. Fish offering a hand up contrasted to this picture would tell about a bajillion words.  Does that make any sense?  No?  Good.

I was going to steal a BDL idea and do a "Provide a Funny Caption" contest for a free 40oz but thought better of it.  I don't think many of us drink 40's anymore anyway.

Black Mamba: Kobe's Nike Movie

This movie short is pretty stupid, if I do say so myself. But for those Nextians who haven't had a peak yet please try and enjoy Kobe killing villians with his basketball skills so that he doesn't have to give his shewz to Kanye.

Cam & Bilbo Weekly Chat: THE Melo to Lakers Discussion

Bilbo likes beards



Cam likes beer



Bilbo: Doood, I’m hearing rumors of Melo going to The Lakers. My first reaction is how could this possibly work? Where do Anthony’s 20+ shot attempts come from? Gasol and Bynum already bitch about Kobe’s reluctance to feed the post, so adding a second wing player with the same mentality is the solution? Remember Melo had 50 points and ZERO assists the other night! And then there is the alpha dog issue. On one hand you have Kobe, the perceived clutch time hero who will never play second fiddle to anyone. On the other hand, you have Melo, who if you look at the numbers is actually the better crunch time play. He is younger than Kobe and is used to being the number juan option on the Nuggets. So who runs the team? You would think Kobe, but when Melo starts outplaying him and the other players start deferring to him rather than The Mamba, things could get ugly quick. The only reason The Heat work is because LeBron and Wade are part of the new generation of superstars who try to have fun and want to collaborate with other superstars to win championships. Kobe is the last of a dying breed from the Jordan era. Juan superstar, juan sidekick and a bunch of good role players. So what if The Lakers make the move anyway without Kobe’s consent? Am I wrong to think it would be a delicious disaster?

Cam: I think it would eventually work out just fine. Gasol has fit in very nicely and Melo could only help them with his superior juan on juan skillz. I’m sure that they’d figure out the shot distribution but it would be hilarious to hear Melo and Kobe gripe at each other through the media during this figure-it-out phase. What I would be the most interested in is if Phil Jackson and the Lakers could get Melo to use his incredible abilities to actually play solid defense. He has all the skillz to play great D but chooses not to. This is the most frustrating part of all that is Melo. But I love your point about who would take the crunch time shots. Kobe has a terrible crunch time field goal % and lovers of his nutsack say that it doesn’t matter because the 20% of heaved 35 footers over quadruple teams while Gasol stands wide open on the wing that he does make are so awesome to re-watch on youtube. If the goal is winning games, you’d go with Melo who shoots a great crunch time percentage yet still would pass to an open man if it meant winning the game. I would love for this trade to happen, but I say there’s no way. Lala and Melo want to go to the Knicks and there’s going to be a February 24th deal worked out for him. Knicks GM Donnie Walsh hasn’t had his contract extended by Owner/Excellent Singer James Dolan unless he lands Melo. They’ll figure it out because Nuggets GM Masai Ujiri doesn’t want to let Melo go in Free Agency. But the bigger point is that I think Melo would deny a trade with the Lakers.

Bilbo: Great point about Melo’s lack of enthusiasm on D. I don’t think going to the Knicks will help him in that regard considering their style of play. And I know this is just a rumor and fills a lull in NBA news at the moment, but it is fun to imagine “what if”. In other news, what do you think of The Lakers next year without Phil Jackson? Do you think they could get Eric Musselman to coach them?

Cam: Thanks. That was a great point. But now that you’ve stroked my ego I’m going to smack you. Why do you, dear Bilbo Baggins of The Shire, care so much about the Lakers? Do you secretly love them? Maybe we should talk about Los Spurs. They do have the best record in the Association. Their “Big 3” have no real ego and are OK with sitting out half the game while their reserves get the W. Everyone on the squad seems to be on the same page and focused on the same goal. They’re a gem to watch to see how they pick apart teams. 43-8 is one of the better starts in NBA history. Thoughts? Feelings? Level of give-a-fuckedness about Los Spurs?

Bilbo: Come on, you know I love The Spurs. Every year I pick them to go to the WCF in your playoff pool and you and Maaatt make fun of me. But I think that should be a separate post….and to answer your question, I love to hate The Lakers. They always give you something to talk about, good and bad. They have one of the most polarizing superstars to ever play the game, the coach with the most rings, one of the craziest players of all time in Ron Ron, and really, really stupid fans who don’t know shit about the NBA outside of The Staples Center. What’s not to like (love?)?

Cam: Alright, I get where you’re coming from regarding the Lakers. I know that you battle a lot of Lakers-Only fans in your personal life so your focus on anything that can go wrong with them is heightened. That being said, should the Warriors trade Monta Ellis for Bynum? Give me your thoughts on possible big men the Warriors can trade Monta for to balance out their team? Don’t make them “really bad trade ideas that you actually kind of like” a-la Ryen (with an “e”) Russillo on the NBA Today podcast. But actually trades that could possibly work for both teams. For example, trading Tim Duncan for Aaron Afflalo and Louis Williams is something Los Spurs would never do but it will totally work for my Fantasy Team.

Bilbo: Of course I'd like a trade of Monta for Bynum.  That's exactly what the Warriors need!  But do you really think that Laker-only fans wouldn't freak over a Bynum for Dwight Howard trade?  The Bynum love is too strong to actually trade this guy.  I'm pretty sure they'd rather get rid of Gasol since he hasn't been a purple blooded Laker from the start.  And this, my friends, is why Laker-only fans make little sense.

Dynasty Series T-Shirts

Starting 5 t-shirts were the hot shit. Now Dynasty Series T-Shirts are all the rage. I like the current Laker one the best. Get it?

Kobe's (doin') Footwork

The best thing about Kobe Bryant is his unmatched footwork to get shots off. At the tail end of his career this becomes especially evident since he no longer has the (sexytime) explosive ability to beat younger guys off the dribble and finish in the lane. We all know that Kobe is a restless innovator in the gymnasio (see: working with Hakeem last summer) and seeing well-put together videos like this awesomely highlight his mastery.



Just in case you think I've gone all soft on Kobe, I still think he's done some pretty idiotic things over his career. I still want Laker fans to get their GED and take a class on "perspective" and "Learning About The Rest of the NBA Before Typing in ALL CAPS 101". But as routine readers of The Nextians can sense (all 2.5 of you), this whole LeBacle bullshiz shines a pretty nice light on Kobe these days. Respect.

The Lakers Celebrate in Strange Fashion

Ron Artest was drunk and apparently drank extra for Phil Jackson (XI) who couldn't be there because he was getting his prostate checked....

"Before I came here, I had Miller Lite, I had a little sip of Hennessey -- I wasn't playing -- so I enjoyed it for him. Phil, you rest, and I enjoyed it for you."

Ron, that's a sweet hat! Apparently, his daughter Diamond made it for him. "Why are you staring at me, daughter!"

Those pants are hip hoppin Ron-Ron! But why isn't Adam Morrison on Jimmy Kimmel Live with the rest of the Lakers? I mean, c'mon now. DJ Mmmmmbenga (who has his own publicist) and Josh Powell were there? Why not Mr. Moustachio!?



More by Ron-Ron:

"I'm going to really enjoy myself, and hopefully this doesn't come across as arrogant or cocky, but I'm going to en-joy my-self," Artest said. "How am I going to enjoy myself? Go to the club, every day."

Ron, thank your Psychiatrist, you're a Champion:



What a great Laker parade celebration indeed. If only they still had this guy on their squad:


Thanks to BDL, yet again.

Kobe's Game 7 Explained

Jeff Miller of The Orange County Register figures out exactly why Kobe Bryant had such a poor Game 7 of the NBA finals. After shooting 6-24 from the field (0-6 from three and 0-12 from 18 feet+) Kobe admittedly didn't play well. Jeff Miller guesses that Kobe might have been nervous, panicking, or choking. But after the game Kobe divulges his problem:

"I just wanted it so, so bad," Bryant said later, reeking of that pungent champagne smell that confirmed he somehow had, after all the failed attempts on this night, gotten it. "On top of that, I was on E."

"WTF!" you say? Kobe Bryant took some E before frigging Game 7 of the NBA Finals? Is he insane? We learn something new every day: drinking champagne and taking ecstasy makes your jumpshot go to shit.

6/4/10 Kobe vs. LeBron Debate: Kobe's Winning

During the regular season the momentum in this debate definitely swung towards King James. He had a much better season that Kobe numbers wise enjoying his second straight MVP trophy. LeBron had everyone right where he wanted them.

Then the playoffs started. Kobe slept in a rejuvenation machine, got his knee drained, put on the badger look more often, and just got to frigging work. LeBron worried about his image, got all corporate, and lost to The Celtics in the 2nd Round of The Playoffs.

But wait, there's more! A logical person would think that LeBrondamanium would take a back seat to another classic NBA Finals matchup between The Lakeshow and The Celtics. This unfortunately is not the case. LeBron taped an interview with Larry Frigging King on Tuesday (airing tonight) about his free agency and now there's word that he's planning a Free Agency Tour complete with new Nike kicks fashioned for every one of his stops. Huh?

LeBron is doing his best to upstage the NBA Finals as a few must reads point out here and here.

The Tour continued last night on Jimmy Kimmel Live with LeBron paying pop-a-shot against some busboy while wearing tight jeans, sunglasses and a tight cardigan:



What did Kobe do at this time? I dunno, prepare for the finals? Give us a glimpse into his NBA studies and obvious knowledge?



LeBron? Seriously. Get over yourself. Pick a team without making a show out of it and move forward. For the good of your legacy, your pocketbook, and NBA fans everywhere please just shut the hell up with your circus and start making it to a few more NBA Finals.

At this point in time, Kobe is Winning. And until Kobe stops winning championships and LeBron wins multiple, I will take Kobe's side in the debate as an official OG Nextian platform.

Kobe is Better Than You

Only people who are better than you are allowed to wear all white. Like Puff Daddy, wearing all white is a sign that you cannot be stopped. It's also a sign that you are an a-hole.


Peep the Kobe is White Hot LA Times article and thanks to Ball Don't Lie once again. Trey Kirby has excellent internet scouring tactics and that is why I love him.

Kobe's Biggest Fan

This LA Tweaker is Black Mamba's biggest fan. He wants to hang with Kobe and enjoy the silence. After hearing this I'm pretty confident that Kobe will get in touch with him.