Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Hoop Sking: New Totally Awesome Videos!

A basketball player can amuse themselves on the Hoop Sking website all day long!  (By The Way: they spelled "sking" wrong.  It's "skiing".  By The Way II: why did they combine "Hoop" and "Sking" to form their website/company name?  I don't get it.)

You may remember a post on this fantastic blog about all of the incredible basketball aid products from Hoop Sking in early 2010.  Well, now they have video to back it up.  Get you credit card ready because you're not going to be able to resist purchasing "Pivitology" once you see this teaser:

Awesome footwork dude!  Those drills will totally help a baller in the post and probably at the ski resort.  Now get ready for some extreme jump rope:

I don't know about you but I'm totally down to purchase all Hoop Sking training aids and training videos and go into debt.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Like a Boss - The Remix

Those of us who drafted Chris Bosh this year in fantasy hoops know what kind of anchor he has been. What happened to the nightly 20/10 this self-proclaimed 'superstar' has put up for the past seven years? Anybody who has watched the Miami Heat play surely noticed this raptor-like skinny dude moping around the court, getting posterized by point guards (WTF is he thinking in that pic "Rajon don't worry I will catch you if you fall!"). He is playing with no emotion, no energy - frankly it looks like he is playing scared.

He is most definitely not playing LIKE A BOSS, a phrase which has surprisingly stuck in my head since I witnessed this memorable lonely island skit:

Until now, I've associated this skit only with New York Giants football tight end Kevin Boss. But thanks to some doudes at the Basketball Jones, I now have a new phrase and new player to associate with this witty ditty. When something is supposed to be good and stinks, its now LIKE A BOSH! Or you can follow the official definition per TBJ, which is
“Like a Bosh” [idiom, ~2010]: When someone or something desires the limelight only to wilt under the newfound pressure.
Peep and love the video:

Warriors Ticket Promotion; Free Turkey

New Golden State Warriors owners Joe Lacob and Peter Gruber have been making the rounds lately after the sale of the franchise was approved last Friday.  Monday's game had a "50% off everything" promotion (which was awesome b/c it included beer) and now new management has an even better ticket-selling idea:  go to the Nuggets at Warriors game next Monday 11/22, purchase 4 tickets, and get a FREE Turkey.

I'm really confused.  These guys sound good in the media but the email promotions coming from the organization they now officially own are really wacked out.  What type of NBA fan gets excited about a free turkey?  My mom sure as heck isn't going to the Warriors game for a free turkey.  I would know what to do with a "Free Turkey" voucher from Lucky other than try and donate it to one of the guys on the walkway between the Oracle and BART.  More to come on promo-gate as the emails keep pouring into my inbox.

Monday, November 15, 2010

Pat Riley's Facebook Status Update

As we all know it is only matter of time, or losses, before that spunky coach of the Miami Heat Erik Spolestra, goes on a fishing trip with the club President and doesn't come back. If you need to check on the status of this soap opera every day, I suggest you add to your internets favorites this simple world wide web page that Stan Van Gundy recently created*.


Kevin Love & Wesley Johnson's Low 5 Gone Wrong; Volume II

PEEP the startling reaction to the handshake gone terribly, terribly wrong. Kevin Love and Wesley Johnson have tried their best to remedy the situation and it looks like it's still a work in progress.

THE Nextians brough you the original reporting of the handshake a few weeks back. Thanks to True Hoop for the links.

New Warriors Owners are Very Happy

Now that Joe Lacob and Peter Gruber have been officially made owners of the Golden State Warriors, they would like to say "thank you" to the loyal Dubs fans with a ticket promotion.  No longer are players being used to market the team.  And thankfully, the Warriors aren't using LeBron and Kobe as marketing tools with the message of "we suck, but check out these really good players who are going to whoop us!"  But plaster the faces of the new owners on an email campaign?  This is weird and slightly funny.  Enjoy their mugs:

Friday, November 12, 2010

Just Say No To Drugs; 1987 Lakers

This has been posted to The Nextians blog of what's Next before.  I recently saw this posted on Deadspin's "Hunt For The Worst 80's Team Song" and wanted to put it up here again.  Remember, just say no to drugs:

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Fantasy Glimpse -- 11/10/10

Welcome to a new edition of Fantasy Glimpse: the Nextians post where we discuss the beautiful game of Fantasy Basketball.

All Fantasy Basket Ballers know that the key to winning a league is picking up a few players who perform better than originally advertised.  The more bang for your buck the better. Through draft strategy and waiver wire grabs a team can be built which thoroughly outperforms your leaguemates (aka "Leagueians" in THE Nextians Fantasy Basketball League).  Today we sort the Yahoo! Sports Fantasy Basketball rankings to see who is off to a great start with a current Rank significantly higher than their Overall Rank (Rank = real stats for this season.  Overall Rank = pre-season Fantasy rankings).  This is called THE Nextians Differential sponsored by NBA Vitamins For Kids.

Rudy Gay is off to a very hot start and actually holds the #1 Rank through 9 games played in this early season.  With an Overall Rank of 39 (3rd or 4th round draft pick), Mr. Gay is putting up great percentages on a high volume of shots (most FG attempts in the Association so far) averaging 25.6 points, 7.2 boardbounds, and 2.7 assists.  Rudy is also swiping nearly 1.5 a game and only turns it over 2 times/game.  Some complicated mathematical algorithms tell me that his Nextians Differntial is +38.

Paul Millsap's Florida (sexytime) Explosion has left all South Beach and Orlando females wanting more Milli and The South Beach A-Holes and Orlando Tragic wanting the Bad Azz Jazz to leave the state already.  Milli is shooting 61% from the field, scoring 23.9 with 10.1 rodmans, 3 helpers and three straight 3 pointers in the last 40 seconds of regulation the other night.  His #3 Rank with a 69 Overall Rank give Milli Millsap a +59 Nextians Differential.

A surprising star on the list to those non-Warriors fans (who are currently 6-2 sukkas!) is Dorell Wright.  The Wright Stuff went late in drafts with an Overall Rank of 143.  His 16.2 points, 5 boardbounds and 2.8 assists might not sound that special but his Association leading 26 tre-bombs have put him at a #9 Rank giving him a rather impressive Nextians Differential of +134.

Last on the Fantasy Glimpse is former UCLA Bruin (and, therefore, former teammate of Jrue Holiday, Kevin Love, Darren Collison and Luc Richard Mbah A Moute) Arron Afflalo of the Denver Nug Show.  Afflalo is the Nug's starting SG and is putting up a respectable 13.6 points, 3.1 rebounds, and 2.8 assists with a 57.4 field goal percentage and 91% from the line.  His 221 Overall Rank and #21 current Rank give him the biggest Nextians Differential (that actually helps a fantasy basketball squad) of +200.

Stayed tuned for the All-Suck squad with the biggest negative Nextians Differential coming soon!

Arenas vs. Blatch; The Poo Shoe Story

Gil-Zero is no longer allowed to pull pranks. You see, Gil-Zero thought that leaving a gun out in the locker room for former teammate and now former NBA player Javaris Crittendon constituted a "prank". Agent Zero confessed to going prankless in a recent interview with some Sports Illustrated Guy.  But not without talking about one of the nastiest pranks ever.

I could go on, but please hear it from the Agent's mouth:

Gil, where's the beard at?

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

After Watching The Highlights.....11/9/10

Utah 116, Miami 114

Before leaving work last night I checked my fantasy team that happens to have Deron Williams on it.  It was in the 2nd Quarter and the Jazz were down by 18 with D-Will not playing terribly well.  I was chalking this up to a typical Bad Jazz night (as recent losses to Denver, Phoenix and Golden State show how bad the Jazz can be in this early season) until I saw the NBA TV highlights after dinner (corndogs, of course).  Surprised doesn't begin to explain how I reacted to news of the vicious comeback on the South Beach A-Holes thereby cementing their Bad Azz Jazz moniker.

And they did all of this with limited Al Jefferson usage.  Millsap connected on his first 3 three point shots of the season enroute to 46 points on 68% shooting (Milli was 2-20 career from the arc).  Who does he think he is?  The Power Forward version of Monta Ellis?  The cool thing is that all of his 3's were shot in the final 40 seconds of the 4th quarter.  And he scored 11 points in these final 40 seconds to push his squad into OT:

The Heat should be able to defend a bit better than they did and there's no doubt that they eventually will figure it out.  I read somewhere that the Jazzholes scored 84 points in the last 29 minutes.  CB-4:  Do you know how to defend the block?  D-Wade: is your defense only tied to taking chances on steals and help defense blocks?  LeBron Raymone James: weren't you the 2nd best defender of the NBA for the 08/09 season?  Like Canadians say: C'MON GUY!

New York 80, Milwaukee 107

I'm pretty sure that the Knicks are better than THIS (38% shooting).  7 Seconds or Less style basketball should result in something more than 80 points in a game.  The Bucks do play decent defense and Bog-nuts probably popped Amar'e near his Oakley Blades-covered eyeholes a few times limiting him to 4 measly boardbounds in 26 minutes of practice action.  But unless Gallinari starts becoming the second best scoring threat on this squad there may be some problems in Knicks land that have nothing to do with how crazy Isiah is.  I'm not sure if I should be happy or scared that they have to fly back to MSG to play the beloved Warriors tonight on the back end of a back-to-back.  The Knicks will either stink up their own decaying joint or play with some swagger.

On the Bucks end of things, it looked to me like they just showed up and played a pretty good game.  And I need to check out Basketbawful to see if there's a term for someone like Luc Richard Mbah a Moute who puts up "meh" stats, plays a decent amout of minutes, but contributes to with a + 26 plus/minus.  Thank Jeebus there are ways to measure guys like this.  Unless Bawful has a pre-made name, I'm calling him a Glue Gun Guy.

Denver 113, Indiana 144

Did Don Nelson sign on as a special assistant to George Carl? 147 points per 100 possessions is a rather insane number that I'm not sure we'll see again for a long time. But with Golden State using the "Smart" approach of valuing defense, is there any other team out there who could allow such numbers to a non-playoff team? It just had to be the Nuggets when you think about it.

The Pacers took 3 less shots during the game. They also made 11 less free throws. Yet then won by 31 points. Excuse me Mr. John Hollinger, but how do the numbers work out like that? I guess that when you toss in 64.6% from the field, this can happen.

The Pacers shot 20 for 21 in the 3rd quarter and blitzed Denver with a 54 to 27 point margin. What the heck did Jim O'Brien say to those guys at half time? Dunleavy scored 31 with a plus/minus of +34, Josh McRoberts dropped 2 entire points and was +25. There are times when crazy creates connundrums, and JR Smith, Carmelo Anthony, and Al Harrington couldn't do anything to stop that Indiana train. The Nugs could have really used Birdman to lay down some smack. Just kidding.

Cleveland 93, New Jersey 91

Will the LBJ chip-on-the-shoulder-Dan Gilbert-letter/promise fuel the Cavs to an 8th seed this season?  At an improbable 4-3, I like what I see.  I can see the battle for playing time/production/stats between Mo Williams and Ramon Sessions (named after LBJ's middle name) causing an issue but Byron Scott seems to be utilizing his fast don't lie backcourt, heck, lineup very well.  You don't go on the road and win games by 2 points without having some heart as a team.  Hickson had a double double, Varejao's hair went crazy on the court, and Jamison rose from the dead to score 15 and grab 8 off the bench (Antawn had 19 points for the year up until last night).

I'll comment on the Nets when someone tells Devin Harris and Travis Outlaw to pass the frigging ball to Anthony Morrow aka the best pure shooter in the game.  Avery Johnson better grow a sac and tell Travis to stop gunning so much.

OK, that's all I got for today.

Friday, November 5, 2010

Clevelanders Response to "What Should I Do?"

Continuing on with the "What Should I Do?" LeBron commercial meme, some dude in Cleveland has put together the Clevelanders version. Pretty solid!

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Kevin Love & Wesley Johnson's Low 5 Gone Wrong

This is totally ripped off from Ball Don't Lie, but this video is great:

What Should Cartman Do?

South Park's hilarious recent episode makes fun of the LBJ "What Should I Do?" commercial:

Thanks to South Park Studios (where you can watch full SP episodes) for the clip.

Monday, November 1, 2010

LeBron's Post-Decision Nike Commercial

So, what should he do?  Classic commercial: