Monday, September 27, 2010

Monta Ellis & Steph Curry: Same Muthafkin Court at the Same Muthafkin Time

The Definitive (even though the conclusion is "Plausible") to the never-ending "Can Monta and Steph play on the court at the same time?" debate.


Get 2 Know Your New Warriors: Charlie Bell

Joe Lacob and Peter Gruber outwit Oracle CEO Larry Ellison to purchase the Golden State Warriors for $450 Million in June so that the Evil Chris Cohan could pay some back taxes.  This summer saw an amazing transition of focus with only 6 of last year's 15 players being brought back (Ellis, Curry, Biedrins, Williams, Radmanovic, Wright).  So that's 8 new Warriors to get used to (with room for 1 more on the roster).  It's a new era in Dubs Land and we're not just talking about the fresh new uniforms or the new batch of Warrior Girls.

Veteran NBA Shooting Guard Charlie Bell is one of the 8 new Warriors additions this season. Bell grew up in Flint Michigan, went to 3 Final Fours at Michigan State, and has made a boat load of cash in the NBA. He's currently playing out $18.5 million dollar 5 year contract.

Charlie took some time last summer to connect with Milwaukee Bucks fans in a short video series called "Hey Charlie, Do My Job!" After spending a half hour looking at all 5 entries, the Wendys episode is the best of the lot:

Aside from how well Charlie does as a Wendys employee, I noticed a few interesting things in the video. His first pick up window customer has a handicap placard in her car which is hilarious. He also said that he "slaved" away putting together another order. I not sure how PC that comment is in the black community but I'm probably just being hyper sensitive about a stupid figure of speech (that I'm too scared to use as a white (guilt) kid)

Charlie's personal website says that he is coming to "San Fran".  I'm not too sure how the Oakland folks will take to that comment (he knows he is playing basketball in Oakland, right?) but something tells me not too many people are reading Bell's website.  It'll take a few months but as Charlie becomes acquainted to the area he'll notice the "subtle" differences between Oakland and San Francisco.  Also, it's lame to call SF "San Fran".

Stay tuned for more "New Warrior" introductions!

Jannero Pargo is a DICK!

I'm really quite glad that the Warriors didn't sign Jannero Pargo. Earlier in the summer they flirted with a 2 year 2.4 million dollar contract but word on the street is that new owner Lacob axed the deal as he wanted a more defensive minded squad.

Until I saw this video I didn't really care one way or another about Jannero. But now I think that the guy is a total dick! Just look at how he schools this helpless little Chris Paul fan wearing jeans. And people say that Jannero and CP3 are friends.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Warriors Play-by-Play "Flunkster-Dude": Bob Fitzgerald

It's the off season and t-minus 2 weeks until training camp begins so let's bring some in-depth chatter to The Nextians, why don't we.  It's time to get pumped.

Bob Fitzgerald is the Play-by-Play commentator on Warriors telecasts.  He also works for the main Bay Area sports radio station 680 AM KNBR.

Ardent Warrior fans dislike Fitz because he is a total Warriors shill.  Read this recent Warriors World post, no, report on how much of a homer Bobby is and why one should never listen to his noon to 3 afternoon show with Rod Brooks.

Please also take a look at "Flunkster Dude"-gate by professional Warriors idea man Tim Kawakami when Fitz was posting seemingly drunken comments all over Warriors fan blogs last summer bashing any Warrior dissenters (as well as his Alma Mater Notre Dame).  What a bag.

Carmello Anthony is The Bomb......right?

Carmello Anthony apparently wants out of Denver.  ESPN's Chris Sheridan says that he wants to go to the Knicks to play alongside Danilo Gallinari and, what's his name again?  Oh, that's right STAT himself Mr. Amare Stoudemire.  Chris Broussard says that the Nets are willing to part with their entire team including entertaining Head Coach Avery Johnson to get Melo.  There has been heavy talk of a Chicago swap of Noah and Deng from that smooth operator Melo.  From TrueHoop's First Cup Thursday:

John Jackson of the Chicago Sun-Times: "There's a growing debate throughout the NBA these days concerning the Bulls: Is management wise or crazy for its apparent unwillingness to include center Joakim Noah in a trade with the Denver Nuggets for perennial All-Star Carmelo Anthony? That it's even a topic of discussion is a testament to how much Noah's reputation has changed in the last two years. Granted, no one believes he's the equal of Anthony, who is considered one of the top five players in the league. It's just that Noah is a hard-to-find center, and his game meshes perfectly with point guard Derrick Rose and new power forward Carlos Boozer. Basically, the question Bulls management has to ask is this: Is the team better off with Anthony (career average of 24.7 points in seven seasons), or with Noah and small forward Luol Deng (who undoubtedly would have to be included to make a deal for Anthony work under the salary-cap rules)? Noah hopes the latter option is more attractive."

On the surface, Carmelo is a great player.  You watch his game, his ability to score the ball and just cream in your jeans (maybe that's just Bilbo).  He's one of the few players in the Association that I constantly rewind my DVR for to see just how the heck he made a certain move (which totally pisses my wife off).

But he sucks a defense.  And he's a volume shooter.  And doesn't pass.  And his rebounding numbers were down last year.  Maybe Melo isn't as good as we think?  That's the question that Denver Nuggets Blog Roundball Mining Company asks in their must read for any Carmelo Anthony analysis (keep in mind that this was written on May 18th, 2010 well before the end of the playoffs).  They don't bash Melo, but they do bring up some fantastic questions.

Monday, September 20, 2010

Monta & Steph: Best Friends!

You know the whole "best friend" meme in commercials these days? How one type of animal or person who couldn't possibly get along with another type of animal or person suddenly become hilarious pals because of the product that's being advertised? Well I'm writing here to predict that what we will see NEXT in Golden State Warrior Country is a successful union of Monta Ellis and Stephen Curry. Who woulda thunk it.

After the media day fiasco of last year's preseason where Monta said that him and Steph could never play on the floor together (which was prompted, I might add, by Stephen Jackson's ire toward the organization on a impressionable Monta) it sounds like Mr. Ellis has grown the fcuk up a bit. As a Dubs fan, I say with a big guttoral sigh "fiiinallly" even though it's probably not smart to believe it until I see it.
"A month before the season was over with, I really had to sit back and blame myself in a sense because I'm that leader; I'm that one who everybody feeds off of," Ellis said. "Everything that went on last year (regarding Curry) shouldn't have gone on. I blame myself."
Fact: Monta has come to the Bay Area earlier in the offseason than any year prior
Fact: Monta is married to a hottie but I will neither confirm or deny the pics I've seen online
Fact: Monta has a 15 month old son
Fact: Monta no longer has moped infatuation
Enjoy this article about the situation (no, not The Situation for Jersey shore you douches)

Friday, September 10, 2010

Matthew Berry's Hair

Here is a screenshot from Matthew Berry's football column for Week 1 of the '10/'11 season. In the top-left picture, Berry has no hair. In the talented Mr. Roto picture, he has a nice dome of fluffy folicles. Is this a joke or are ESPN editors just stupid?

Coach K Must Have Jetlag

Our current Team USA competing in the World Championships is flawed. From Lamar Odom playing Center to Eric Gordon being used as a our only shooter to Kevin Love getting limited minutes. Our squad is on the verge of being in shambles. Thank Jeebus for The Durantula just being himself and not letting us lose.

The comeback win vs. Russia yesterday was, as someone with a Russian accent would say "Ver Nice!" But now we have Lithuania. And Lithuania with their tie-dyed Grateful Dead shirts just dismantled a very strong Argentina squad who many picked to advance to the finals now that Spain was ousted. The spirit of Sarunas Marciulionis is strong with this team.

Coach Krzyzewski hasn't managed the personnel use of Team USA well at all. Why not use Steph Curry as a shooter? Why not play K-Love the beast more minutes to use his natural nose for rebounds against those Euro 7-footers? Why is Iguodala playing the 4? All of this has me so worried that I'm thinking about cancelling my flight to Istanbul for the finals (where tickets are still very inexpensive and available...who wants to go with me!)

The bottom line is that Coach K is a douche and Team USA is winning in spite of Coach K's decisions on who to play. Thankfully, Team USA's talent is so great that they can get away with a ton of mistakes.

The only thing that Coach K seems to be doing is trying to stir up controversy with Russia. The crazy 1972 Olympic gold medal game in Munich when the USSR mysteriously got the extra 3 seconds chapped his ass enough to talk smack about Russia's current coach David Blatt. And thankfully Yahoo's Adrian Wojnarowski has something to say about that.

If you need a refresher course on the 1972 USSR defeat over Team USA, peep the youtubes below. It's not all in Russian so don't worry: