Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Thanksgiving Eve: Enjoy Seeing Assholes Tonight!

It's the strangest night of the year tonight on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving. The one Wednesday of the year (unless New Years happens to fall on a Wednesday) where it's completely OK to get shithoused and hang out with people in your hometown who you would never bother making an attempt to see at any other time of year. It's a hometown/highschool reunion that you willingly participate in even though you probably derive very little enjoyment from the experience. And since you're back home away from your crappy starter home or shitty rented apartment, enjoy either crashing on your buddies mom's couch or on a hide-a-bed that your family still has in their house with the same He-Man sheets you remember from 4th grade that you made your mom buy because you wanted your new friend Jimmy to think you were cool and totally into He-Man even though you didn't own Castle Greyskull and actually enjoyed playing with your She-Ra Princess of Power and Prince Adam figures more than Cyclopes and Battle Cat (you fag). You know you're not getting "your room" because Aunt Millie and Uncle Bud are sleeping in there and they are old and deserve the comfort of your shitty old bed. Hopefully all Nextians are taking the Friday after Thanksgiving off from work because the only thing that makes this holiday any more strange after seeing hometown hero assholes on Wednesday and bullshitting with your uncles over the awesome Lions/Titans game on a hung over Thanksgiving is having to wake up and go to work on Friday, for fuck's sake.

Thanks to this excellent ONION article for the inspiration to write the same thing they did.

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