Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Oakley Blades: High Fashion, High Function

Without fail, every NBA season brings up some type of new fashion trend. AI came into the league in 1996 and made tatting up your entire body the most hardcore thing to do. Ever. A few years ago the extreme re-emergence of the headband made white guys look super goofy. Now NBA hippies who wear their hair long go for the Über metro hairband. The clear plastic face mask has been used to protect mugs for a few years now. But Rip Hamilton played so well with it on that he wears it to this day even without facial injury. Last year brought about a trend that has made sense. The Hexpad protection is all over the NBA and actually saves the asses of guys who get undercut on a layup and land in a death defying way. About three years ago brought on the completely useless and super feminine leggings that Kobe rocked super hard all year long. Thankfully Commish Stern banned these damn things even though shooting sleeves are still allowed in the league for some insane reason. At least nobody in the Association is wearing a goddamn long sleeve shirt under their uniform. That is left to this one idiot on the Oklahoma Sooners.

The early trend in this young NBA season has been the new eyewear that is starting to pop up. Amare got fingered in his eyehole at practice earlier in the year and started the safety trend of wearing super awesome Oakley Blades during the game.

Amare ditched the Blades for good when he torched the hapless Pacers without them in early November. Thankfully, Vladamir Radmanovic decided to cop STAT's style and moved forward with slamming his eyeball on Carmelo Anthony's finger so that he could wear his own Oakley Blades with a super sweet Blu Blocker tint. Dude, being able to see the court in full Blu Blocker effect has got to be some sort of huge advantage.

What's next? I'm guessing that super baggy necklines on jerseys will be all the rage by All Star Break.

I'll see you guys later. I gotta go make some money on the beach.

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