Monday, November 3, 2008

Iverson for Billups

As you all have hopefully heard by now as serious SportsCenter and NBA addicts, The Nuggets traded Allen Iverson (White Chocolate) to Detroit for Chauncy Billups (Jerk Store), Antonio McDyess (available on waivers!), and some loser. With Iverson's contract being over at the end of this year, Dumars is setting his position up nicely for "The Summer Of Lebron" where at the conclusion of the 2010 season the following ballaz will be free agents:

LeBron James, Dwyane Wade, Chris Bosh, Amare Stoudemire, Ray Allen, Tyson Chandler, Manu Ginobili, Richard Jefferson, Joe Johnson, Tracy McGrady, Yao Ming, Steve Nash, Dirk Nowitzki and Michael Redd

Meanwhile, the Nuggets are getting the wiley veteran Chancey Billups who can figure out how to pass the ball to Melo (Monta's Moped) and JR Smith (Raping Indy) more often. Cha-Ching!

So who is the winner in this trade? You may have an opinion but it's actually impossible to tell based based on normal things like "stats", "leadership" and "contracts". But if you break it down into more important factors, a clear winner is decided.

Category 1: Who is More Popular?
This is tough question for Nextians to answer as we all know AI and CB equally as well. Heck, I know that at least 4 of us have AI's rookie card, mint condition. But if you look at it based on what common folks think (aka "losers), you learn that Allen Iverson has had the 3rd best selling jersey of the last 10 years. Billups doesn't even crack the top 10. And being that jersey sales are a clear indication of popularity, AI gets the point in category #1.

Category 2: Who has the Best Shoes?
Both of these all-league PG's have had their own shoe for some time now. Albeit, AI has had "Tha Iversons" by Reebok since his rookie season while Billups has only been on Adidas for a few years now. But let's take a look at their recent models



Maybe this decision is personal since I wouldn't put a pair of Weeboks on my feet to play basketball if my adult league title depended on it. But I think it is obvious choice here are the Chauncey Adidas. Score tied: 1-1.

Category 3: Who earns more Nextian Crazy Points?

Billups is a pretty normal dude. I couldn't find anything "crazy" in his past other than being a perfect gentleman and a championship ring owner. After going through 184 pages of Google Images the "worst" picture I could find of CB was this one of him looking happy in the NBA finals:

Meanwhile, AI has been arrested many times. He beats people up, has been involved in drug deals, and makes rap albums that he can't release because they are too raunchy (check out the song "40 Bars" by "Jewels" on the link):

The all important Crazy Points go to AI. Our winner is Allen Iverson of the new and improved Detroit Pistons!

What this amazing analysis shows us is that Detroit will come out much further ahead than Denver when this thing is all said and done. The evidence is undisputable. Congratulations to Joe Dumars and the city of Motown.

No comments: