Wednesday, June 30, 2010

NBA Free Agency Summit

Even though 75% of these guys are complete d-bags, this NBA Free Agency Summit video on ESPN is pretty cool. Enjoy Sportsguy's freshly applied spray tan:



Please check out Chad Ford's cap breakdown on TrueHoop before you read any more LeBron "what-if" stories by NBA writers.

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

TMZ: The Lakers Singing Edition

Pau Gasol can't sing

&

Ron Artest puts on a concert at the club where I spent my bachelor party

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Who The Warriors Will Draft: Epke Udoh

Once the Kings draft DeMarcus Cousins at #5, most people think that the Warriors will draft Greg Monroe of Georgetown. Well, the only thing that Greg Monroe can do is pass. But Epke Udoh can do much more. He blocks the hell out of shots, has a crazy motor, and isn't scared of anything. Let's learn more about the Baylor General Studies major Ekpedeme Friday Udoh:

I first met Udoh in the Elite 8 when he played like a man possessed against Duke. As you can see in the highlights of this game, this kid is one atheletic PF with solid hoops IQ:



If you're sold on Epke like I am, you can watch this full Duke v Baylor game HERE. (BTW: shouldn't LaceDarius Dunn be in The Association?)

OK, so Baylor lost to Duke (obviously) even though Epke had a great game. But to see Baylor totally dismantle Moraga's own Saint Marys in the Sweet 16, enjoy it HERE.

"But is Udoh a big idiot? Does he even know how to speak Engrish? Get to know Udoh at his pre-draft interview from Draft Express:



I'm going to feel really stupid if the Dubs don't get Cousins or Epke Udoh tonight. This post can easily be deleted and re-formatted with fake praise for Cole Alrdich in a matter of minutes.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Powerthirst: The New Brawndo

This looks delicious

The Lakers Celebrate in Strange Fashion


Ron Artest was drunk and apparently drank extra for Phil Jackson (XI) who couldn't be there because he was getting his prostate checked....

"Before I came here, I had Miller Lite, I had a little sip of Hennessey -- I wasn't playing -- so I enjoyed it for him. Phil, you rest, and I enjoyed it for you."

Ron, that's a sweet hat! Apparently, his daughter Diamond made it for him. "Why are you staring at me, daughter!"

Those pants are hip hoppin Ron-Ron! But why isn't Adam Morrison on Jimmy Kimmel Live with the rest of the Lakers? I mean, c'mon now. DJ Mmmmmbenga (who has his own publicist) and Josh Powell were there? Why not Mr. Moustachio!?





More by Ron-Ron:

"I'm going to really enjoy myself, and hopefully this doesn't come across as arrogant or cocky, but I'm going to en-joy my-self," Artest said. "How am I going to enjoy myself? Go to the club, every day."

Ron, thank your Psychiatrist, you're a Champion:




What a great Laker parade celebration indeed. If only they still had this guy on their squad:


Thanks to BDL, yet again.

Saturday, June 19, 2010

Ron Artest Post-Game Interview Game 7

Ron Artest is REAL. Real Crazy/Awesome!

Friday, June 18, 2010

Kobe's Game 7 Explained


Jeff Miller of The Orange County Register figures out exactly why Kobe Bryant had such a poor Game 7 of the NBA finals. After shooting 6-24 from the field (0-6 from three and 0-12 from 18 feet+) Kobe admittedly didn't play well. Jeff Miller guesses that Kobe might have been nervous, panicking, or choking. But after the game Kobe divulges his problem:

"I just wanted it so, so bad," Bryant said later, reeking of that pungent champagne smell that confirmed he somehow had, after all the failed attempts on this night, gotten it. "On top of that, I was on E."

"WTF!" you say? Kobe Bryant took some E before frigging Game 7 of the NBA Finals? Is he insane? We learn something new every day: drinking champagne and taking ecstasy makes your jumpshot go to shit.

The Artest Clan Celebrates

This is a fun little video. Ron talks about all of his hard work (somtimes going to the gym 5x's a day?), California vs. Texas state taxes, and his genuine remorse for doing his old Pacers teammates wrong. Hanna Storm and her legs then want to babysit Ron-Ron's children.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Tony Allen's Shot

Celtics fans cringe when Tony Allen takes a jump shot. Not quite as much as Laker fans gasp when Ron Artest hoists from three, but pretty close. The funny thing is that both of these guys are solid defenders. In the 2010 NBA Championship, Tony guards Kobe really well and Artest does a good job limiting Paul Pierce (until Game 5). But I digress. Let's look at Tony Allen's shooting.

In 2010 Tony Allen shot 51% from the field. Not too bad! But lets look at this a little deeper, shall we?

For shots taken at the rim, Tony shot 65.8%. But it gets worse. Tony shot 28.6% from under 10 feet, 33% from 10-15 feet, and 25% from 16-23 feet.


(Thanks to Doc Funk for the picture with caption. He does the captions all the time and is much better at it than The Nextian's past attempts)

But at least Doc Rivers has Tony reined in. For 2010 Tony took 158 attempts at the rim, 35 under 10 feet, 15 shots from 10-15 feet, and 40 jacks from 16-23 feet. The above picture shows us why he shoots just over one "not at the rim" shot a game.

Monday, June 14, 2010

Warriors Players Value


Here’s how much the 26-56 (.317) Warriors missed seven of their key players when injured:

Ronny Turiaf (40 games missed) — 15/42 (.357) when playing; 11/40 (.275) when not
Anthony Randolph (49 games missed) — 11/33 (.333) when playing; 15/49 (.306) when not
Kelenna Azubuike (73 games missed) — 3/9 (.333) when playing; 23/73 (.315) when not
Andris Biedrins (49 games missed) — 10/33 (.303) when playing; 16/49 (.327) when not
Corey Maggette (12 games missed) — 21/70 (.300) when playing; 5/12 (.417) when not
Monta Ellis (18 games missed) — 19/64 (.297) when playing; 7/18 (.389) when not
CJ Watson (17 games missed) — 18/65 (.277) when playing; 8/17 (.471) when not

So the Warriors are WORSE when Maggette and Monta play. I know this squad was effed last year but the numbers don't lie.

Don Nelson


Out of coaches with their current teams four years or more, here’s how Don Nelson’s record stacks up:

Phil Jackson — .674
Greg Popovich — .665
Jerry Sloan — .634
Doc Rivers — .616
George Karl — .616
Nate McMillan — .540
Mike Woodson — .509 [fired May 14]
Don Nelson — .442
But let's totally keep him around for another year and possibly sign an extension. Why? Because we're the Warriors.

Friday, June 11, 2010

NBA Finals Game 4 Fun

After this celebration, Big Baby started drooling all over the place.




Now enjoy your Moment of Zen:

Gasol vs. Rasheed; Wrestlemania

Kevin Arnovitz of True Hoop provides some NEXTian level analysis of the 'Sheed v (boom-boom) Pau! matchup. Sometimes it's fun to watch the games within the game instead of just watching Kobe dribble the ball everywhere.

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Ron Artest Sucks at Offense: Game 2 Evidence



More about Artest's offensive ineptitude below from Langston Whittaker's blog on SLAM:

By far the strangest sequence of Game 2 came with 1:12 to go in the game. Kendrick Perkins had knocked in two free throws to give Boston a 98-90 lead. L.A. inbounded to Artest, who dribbled the ball all the way up the right side of the court (dribbling left-handed, for some reason). With 1:07 to go, Artest paused just outside the three point line and surveyed the floor. Paul Pierce was guarding him, but not too closely, not wanting to foul and stop the clock. Artest signaled up top for Kobe to come to him and get the ball, but Kobe froze, not wanting to run his defender (Ray Allen) into Artest’s space. Andrew Bynum then came toward Artest to set a pick on Pierce, but Artest didn’t wait long enough for the pick, and instead just started dribbling toward the middle of the floor. Pierce bothered him enough to push Artest down to the left block. His dribble still alive, and I suppose suddenly realizing that the Lakers could use a three, Artest turned and dribbled up toward the left elbow. By now the clock was at 1:02, and the Lakers had run 10 seconds off the clock with nobody touching the ball but Artest. The crowd begins screaming, reminding Artest that time is of essence. Artest dribbled out to the three point line on the left wing and picked up his dribble, so Pierce ran up on him, cutting off any open jumper. Artest half-heartedly pump-faked, pivoted back, then forward, and ended up taking a contested three with his foot on the line and 57 seconds left in the game. The shot didn’t come close. The other Lakers players on this play mostly just stood around and watched Artest, as amazed as everyone else at what was unfolding. Hilariously, the shot was such a brick that it bounced over all the Celtic rebounders and to Pau Gasol, who tipped it to Kobe up top, and Kobe immediately drained a 25-footer to cut it to 98-93 with 53 seconds left. But what was Artest doing?

After the game, someone asked Phil Jackson about it, for maybe my favorite sequence of the Finals:

Q: Does Ron get a little lost out there offensively? Is it the stage? Is it the pressure? There was one play towards the end where he ran around for about ten seconds and threw up a three.

PHIL JACKSON: It’s one of the more unusual sequences I’ve ever witnessed. You know, he’s just trying to redeem himself. He’s trying to get himself involved in the game and trying to redeem himself for I think he made a bad pass earlier in the sequence.

Q. But this is a pretty big stage to be doing that at that particular moment.

PHIL JACKSON: Sure, very good observation.

Q. Have you had a conversation with him about whether he needs to go that route?

PHIL JACKSON: Yeah, sure, I’ll have a conversation with him.

Between Games 1 and 2 at one of the media days someone asked Ron Ron about his offense. He said, “Offense is kind of like the lottery for me. Whatever happens, happens.” He paused briefly, glanced around, then asked, “Does that make sense? Is that a good comparison?”

Kareem Rush: Hold You Down

Kareem Rush has some decent vocal chords. That is until you listen closely and realize that he's singing through autotune. What a cop out.



Kareem wants to hold his girls down. At first, you are worried that he's an aggressive lover. But then after the 4th listen (yeah right!) you figure out that he's talking about being a steady force in a young tender's life. He's obviously a much better lover than other guys, but isn't that the message in every R&B song sung by a dude?

A quick read of Kareem's Wikipedia page tell us just how accomplished of an R&B singer he is (control F "R&B").

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Bloodbuzz Ohio

I'm not sure what this song really means but I'm pretty sure it's about the sadness that people from Ohio feel about LeBron James and his possible/likely scampering to another franchise. Matt Berninger's weathered baritone really captures their collective guttoral churning:



Bloodbuzz Ohio could be about the feeling of sadness from The Cavs fans losing the beloved Mike Brown or GM Danny Ferry. But I doubt it.

Sunday, June 6, 2010

Rajon Rondo; SLAM Interview



Rajon Rondo never went to an NBA game growing up.
Rajon Rondo does a version of The Dream Shake but never watched Hakeem play.
Heck, Rajon Rondo never saw Jordan play a game on TV growing up.
Rajon Rondo didn't get serious about this basketball stuff until before his senior year of High School.

Rajon Rondo is an intersting dude to say the least. Check out the excerpts from his recent SLAM interview on newstands now.

Saturday, June 5, 2010

Wonder Bread; Flavor of The NBA

As Jason Kidd learns us, Wonder Bread has delicious flavor that most definitely represents the NBA.



And now you know.

Friday, June 4, 2010

6/4/10 Kobe vs. LeBron Debate: Kobe's Winning

During the regular season the momentum in this debate definitely swung towards King James. He had a much better season that Kobe numbers wise enjoying his second straight MVP trophy. LeBron had everyone right where he wanted them.

Then the playoffs started. Kobe slept in a rejuvenation machine, got his knee drained, put on the badger look more often, and just got to frigging work. LeBron worried about his image, got all corporate, and lost to The Celtics in the 2nd Round of The Playoffs.

But wait, there's more! A logical person would think that LeBrondamanium would take a back seat to another classic NBA Finals matchup between The Lakeshow and The Celtics. This unfortunately is not the case. LeBron taped an interview with Larry Frigging King on Tuesday (airing tonight) about his free agency and now there's word that he's planning a Free Agency Tour complete with new Nike kicks fashioned for every one of his stops. Huh?

LeBron is doing his best to upstage the NBA Finals as a few must reads point out here and here.

The Tour continued last night on Jimmy Kimmel Live with LeBron paying pop-a-shot against some busboy while wearing tight jeans, sunglasses and a tight cardigan:



What did Kobe do at this time? I dunno, prepare for the finals? Give us a glimpse into his NBA studies and obvious knowledge?



LeBron? Seriously. Get over yourself. Pick a team without making a show out of it and move forward. For the good of your legacy, your pocketbook, and NBA fans everywhere please just shut the hell up with your circus and start making it to a few more NBA Finals.

At this point in time, Kobe is Winning. And until Kobe stops winning championships and LeBron wins multiple, I will take Kobe's side in the debate as an official OG Nextian platform.

Gasol's Game 1 Contributions

Gasol played great in Game 1 of the NBA Finals last night. Here, Kevin Arnovitz from ESPN's TrueHoop puts together a great piece on the genius that is (boom boom) Pau!

Heeeere's Ronnie!


Ron Artest is crazy. But at least he has seemed to focus his craziness on harassing the hell out of his opponents in this most delicious of 2010 Playoffs. Heck, he even harasses Laker fans when he goes 1/8 and puts up shots early in the shot clock under a minute left in a 3 point game. But that's besides the point because Ronnie's face is on a sweet t-shirt.

Grab your crazy Ron tee HERE and head to Staples to support your boy.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Mega LeBron Post

Kevin Dubbs, NBA expert insider video blogger, knows A LOT about LeBron James:



Check out Sacramento's latest plee to land LeBron this summer. If you know anything about Sac, this song is doubly funny:



Dallas fans do it right with a serious video: