Where's Baron Davis?

The last I saw of Baron he was throwing a bad pass to Blakers while standing in the sunroof of the all new Kia Optima, the official car of the NBA:

It's nice that Baron got all dressed up, headband and all, in his Clippers warmups to throw an alley-oop pass from a car he wouldn't be caught dead in. This was on February 19th, 2011.

Today is March 4th and Baron is on a new team (the worst one in the Association) playing for his old coach (Byron Scott) who he fueded with back in Charlotte (who is now in New Orleans). Baron played up until the All-Star break throwing lobs to Blake in actual games but then was hurt missing the last three games with The Cavs.

And here he's telling us that everything is fine and is looking forward to "proving the doubters wrong". Sure, Baron. I'm sure you're totally fine with this trade. Hope the knee's better, bud.

LeBron Sparks Mailbag Comments

Simmons posted some great Mailbag emails from his readers talking about the LeBacle. Here they are:

Q: Right after watching the LeBacle, I couldn't help but imagine Jordan's reaction to the announcement. I picture MJ chilling in a Vegas lounge, and right after Bron Bron uttered the words "I'm taking my talents to South Beach," him taking a puff on a giant cigar, turning to Oak, grinning ear to ear, and smugly saying "What a [derogatory name also used for cats]." And he'd be right.-- Joe, Charlestown, S.C.

Q: What really bothers me about LeBron's decision is the effect it's going to have on the younger generation. Young kids everywhere are going to see this and think that it's better to take the easier road to success instead of taking the chance at being great. If you have a chance at transcendence but it seems just a little too hard or too much for you to handle, then don't go for it. Take the easy road. That's the lesson learned and the trend set for this generation. But then again, this is also the generation that airs out their beef on Facebook/Twitter. This is the generation that could never understand what JFK's quote "We do this not because it is easy, but because it is hard" really means. Hell, this is the generation that thinks the greatest rapper of all time is a Canadian who got famous because he was on a Nickelodeon show. So maybe LeBron's just a product of his time and he's just doing what he thinks is right. But what do I know? Call me old-fashioned, but then again I'm only 21.-- Sopan, New Brunswick, N.J.

Q: Dr. Drew has a theory about the impact of reality TV, and that it has created a generation of people who want to be famous, but don't want to put in the work to develop the skills or talent to be famous. Why study or practice or go to acting school or music school, etc., when you can just get on a reality TV show and be famous instantly? Isn't that theory exactly what we have in LeBron? He wants to be the greatest of all time, he wants to be a global icon, he wants to be the King, yet he has shown no evidence that he wants to put in the work to really achieve those things. Instead of spending this offseason working on developing a low post game, or a midrange offense, he spent his time developing his media machine. He knows the key to being an all-time great is winning titles, but he thinks there is a shortcut to getting there. Why improve your own game and find a way to make everyone around you better, when he can just piggyback on Dwyane Wade to get there.
There is a scene in "Good Will Hunting" where Dr. Lambeau is talking to Will, and says there are only a handful of people in the world who can tell the difference between Will's intelligence and his own. I feel like right now that is LeBron -- talent wise, he is right there with Kobe and potentially he could be right there with the other all-time greats. But this act of his over the last few months is showing us just what that difference is between LeBron and the others.-- Andrew Gordon, Washington, D.C.

LeBrand Leaves Cleveland

"This fall -- man, this is very tough -- um, this fall I'm going to take my talents to South Beach and join the Miami Heat"

-LeDouche/LeBrand/LeBrondamonium/King Crab

A tough decision? Wasn't this decision already made in 2007 when LBJ, D-Wade and CB-4 (that's Chris Bosh) all signed their mini-max deals to become free agents at the same time? Or as William J. Simmons points out, didn't the 2008 Gold Medal winning Team USA form an unbreakable buddy/buddy/buddy/buddy relationship between the now Miami Threeat/Miami Thrice and CP-3 who's contract expires at the end of this year? It's fully clear now that the "meetings" with other teams by The Miami Thrice were all for show.....literally! They had cameras following them around for a future "reality" program on the "decisions" being made. All of this culminated with The LeBacle last night.

The Freemason Prophecy is real! The pact is in force! We are 3/4ths of the way there!

LeBrand's hour long LeBacle Special last night was worse that the past 6 Favre summers and A-Rod's 2007 World Series hijacking to announce that he was going to the Yankees combined (I stole those thoughts from someone else....please don't credit me for being inventive). Mental masturbation at it's most disgusting. Yet I couldn't stop watching and neither could anyone else.

LeBron earned $2.5 million for The Boys and Girls Club ($500K of which was from the University of Phoenix in a hilarious on-air commercial at the end of the "special"), which was great. Also great were LeBron's terrible answers to interviewers Jim Gray's and Michael Wilbon's questions. Fortunately, we learned a few things: LeCrabdribble made his decision on Miami in his dreams the night before, he was looking forward to the free agency experience (what? didn't this end it?), and he never wanted to leave Cleveland (double-what??/I'm calling BS). BDL breaks down the hilarity and uncomfortable douche chills of The Decision Special HERE. All of this and he killed Cleveland forever.

As a society we always hold our sports stars in the highest regard and it angers us when they destroy our image of them (see: Woods, Eldrick). We turned our heads when LBJ wouldn't shake the hands of the Orlando Magic in '08 and when he stormed off the court and took off his Cavs jersey for the final time after the Game 6 loss this year to the Celtics. But even though TMZ isn't covering this debacle (some argue that ESPN's coverage of the fiasco is worse than TMZ) and even though a lot of money was generated for great causes, LeBrand jumped the everloving shark last night. And his "Team" was revving up the boat for LBJ's jump by starting a King James Twatter Account and launching his Crabness's website earlier in the week. On the level of arrogance LeBron has actually surpassed the most egomaniacal NBA'er of recent memory: Kobe Bryant. And that's saying something.

(Props to Basketbawful for the awesome cartoon)

Then things got interesting: Venom was immediately spilled by Cleveland Cavaliers owner Dan Gilbert on the team page of all places in an "artsy" Comic Sans font. This bitter girlfriend pukefest will forever be know as "The LeBron Letter" and speaks for an entire fanbase. LBJ Cavs 23 jerseys were burned in a LeBronfire in the streets of Cleveland adding to the flaming tire smell the city usually emanates, fans cried, fans yelled and all of Cleveland was pissed. Some say Gilbert's tirade should make one question The Cavs and somehow feel sympathy for LeBron moving on to Miami. But that's like going to the New York Times to get sports information (wait, that article was from the NYT.....never mind).

Get 'em while they're hot! LBJ Cavs Fatheads are going for an amazing sale price of $17.41. 1741 is the year that Benedict Arnold was born. Oh yeah, and Dan Gilbert owns Fathead. Hilarity continues!

Most owners are rich a-holes who are used to getting what they want. Although owners like Mikhail Prokhorov (Nets), Jerry Reinsdorf (Bulls), James Dolan (Knicks) and especially Donald Sterling (Clippers) were undoubtedly pissed and may have thought the same things as Gilbert, none of them said anything. But Gilbert's are fightin' words and his promise that the Cavs will win the 'ship before LeBron does is actually quite awesome. To have the guts to write those words, not matter how immature and unhinged it appears to be to fruitbags who write for the NYT, is actually quite awesome. A renegade owner with an enormous chip on his shoulder doing whatever it takes to win the Larry O'Brien trophy for his organization and the people of Cleveland before King Crab of Miami? Excellent drama. I only wish more owners had this kind of fire (see: Cohan, Chris).

Gilbert made a boatload of flow off of LBJ as the franchise is valued by Forbes to be worth $100 Million more today than it was when LBJ was first drafted in 2003. LBJ used Cleveland to win Rookie of the Year and back-to-back NBA MVP awards. He can do whatever he wants as that is the definition of "Free Agent". Joining a super team is his prerogative. Many people have left their hometowns to achieve bigger and better things. Blah blah blah.

But he didn't have to do this ill-conceived ESPN LeBrondamonium self promo narcissistic bullshit. Jordan didn't go on to play on the same team as Magic. LeBron obviously doesn't get it right now but he soon will. LeBrand's next season won't anything be like those of the past. The hatred that will be thrown his way in every city but Miami will be life changing. Forget your "billion dollars" and your positive brand. Everything you once knew is now gone. Will LeBrainless embrace the heel role with his buddies Dwayane and Chris? Because you aren't going to be the good guy hero anymore. Good luck out there on your island, King.

Bloodbuzz Ohio

I'm not sure what this song really means but I'm pretty sure it's about the sadness that people from Ohio feel about LeBron James and his possible/likely scampering to another franchise. Matt Berninger's weathered baritone really captures their collective guttoral churning:



Bloodbuzz Ohio could be about the feeling of sadness from The Cavs fans losing the beloved Mike Brown or GM Danny Ferry. But I doubt it.

LeBrondamonium is Weird

This is just getting weird. If I were LBJ, I'd leave these a-holes in a heartbeat.


EMBED-We Are Lebron Video - Watch more free videos

LeBron Threw Game 5 b/c The Freemasons Told Him To

"I spoil a lot of people with my play. When you have a bad game here or there, you've had three bad games in a seven-year career, then it's easy to point that out." -LeBron James 5/11/10

For the conspiracy theorists out there, LeBron's Game 5 puke-fest does maybe-kinda point to him being told to tank the game by The Bilderbergs or Jay-Z and The Freemasons or whatever (Peep some prior "LeBron is a Freemason" evidence HERE ....directly from this blog!....via FreeDarko).

Just kidding, back to reality folks. First of all, Chuck Barkley thinks you royally choked:



Ouch! Now, for some day-after reaction articles matriculating from the NBA universe:

Wojo thinks that LeBron is just doesn't have the winners drive to do whatever it takes. After one of the worst loses by a Championship Contender in league history (a 32 point home court smackdown) he blames LeBron's other areas of focus and the Cleveland organization for being so permissive of LeBron over the years. Sounds like Wojo has been waiting to throw out this information for a while now.

Russillo (it's a podcast, folks) says that the game was one of the most shocking he's ever seen. He then puts the loss on everyone with the Cavs.

Hollinger (you have to be an INsider to see this article) takes a more logical stance, as always, and says that James' elbow caused him to go 1/11 on his jumpers. This elbow also caused him to pass up other open jumps he had throughout the game because he wasn't feeling confident in them. He also analyzes that James' good games this series have come after he's had extra rest. The one day rest games have caused the LeBron stinkbombs as he hasn't had enough time for his elbow to heal. What's concerning here is that Game 6 is Thursday after just one day rest. What Hollinger can't explain is why James differed on so many pick and roles counting a total of 13 times when he just passed the ball to a teammate not creating an advantage on the play.

Mr. True Hoop Henry Abbott points out what's wrong with Cleveland fans with an interesting take. With fans booing on their way out of the exits and the Cavs owner distancing himself from the team in recent comments, things do seem a bit doomed for Cleveland in this series and in LeBronamania this summer.

And, of course, Bill Sportsguy Simmons comes with a Retro Diary.

It was necessary to capture this moment in time before game 6 when LeBron either tarnishes his early legacy or steps up with a win for the ages in the Celtic's TD Waterhouse Ameritrade Garden. One thing's for certain: I can't wait to see what comes NEXT on Thursday at 5:00pm Pacific!

Cavs Retro Intro; The Warriors

Gotta love the Cavs Retro Introduction video from their game last night spoofing "The Warriors" movie:



Thanks Ball Don't Lie

Cavs Playoff Commercial

Let's give a shout out to our first first round playoff winner- The Cavaliers from the beautiful city of Cleveland:



Anything with Delonte West being himself is something that I need to watch over and over again. What an interesting individual.