LeBron James PTImeline

An oral history of LeBron James' basketball career to date

Jay Z Can't Dribble

Prior to 11/26/12's Knicks at Nets game Jay Z tried to dribble. Not only was his hat huge and his pants camo, Hova doesn't know how to dribble.

Harrison Barnes DUNKS

Harrison Barnes, the 2012 7th overall pick by the San Francisco Golden State Warriors, threw down this monster jam this past Saturday over a Montenegrin Knight who has this tattoo.

The guy with this tattoo and Harrison Barnes are currently some of my favorite people in the NBA. Pekovic doesn't care about pain. Pain don't hurt. He sprained his ankle a few weeks back and didn't use crutches.
Thanks to Deadspin

Isiah Thomas & Nate Robinson Motivate

Nate Rob put out this motivation workout video (for the ladies) over the summer of him and fellow U Dub 5'9" Alumni Isiah Thomas of the Kings.  The shaky camera made me nauseous at times but the point is made: these guys work out hard, starting at 6:00 am, in the offseason. Do you think that these midgets by NBA standards would be in the NBA if they weren't incredibly talented and worked their balls off?

Maybe Isiah Thomas stopped his workouts because the genius known as Keith Smart just benched him for Aaron Brooks last week. And now he is getting the dreaded DNP-CD's in the box score. Nate Rob is in the right place getting some good run for a broken Bulls team.

Hopefully this post will pull in the ladies who like short athletes with their shirts off. If so, this blog will completely change directions.

Douchey Laker Fans

I don't care who I'm stealing this from because it needs to be kept in this here blog for eternity. This is just more evidence that Laker fans can be complete douche bags.  Found in Barstool Chicago by Nextian Maaaaatt the post and comments are a must read. I mean, the kid with his new D-How t-shirt by Adidas sitting in daddy's seats ripping off his sunny g's is one thing but the guy over his left shoulder wearing an American Apparel purple tank with yellow trim is another. Holy good god almighty.

I mean, who the heck is this Kevin Nealon wannabe? This dude is sleazier than Larry Flint. He's totally a porn producer. And that Lakers necklace and Championship rings are all fake as shit.

Update: Laker Bros in reverse .gif is that much funnier. Enjoy!

Chandler "Bang" Parsons

His highlights never make it onto ESPN but Chander Parsons, aka "Chandler Bang" can throw it down.  Zach Lowe of Grantland (and formerly of SI) says "I love Chandler Parsons. He's a nice all-around player whom the Rockets smartly locked into a four-year contract that never exceeds $1 million in annual salary. It's borderline unfair already."

Chandler Bang's dunk highlights from last year:


Bang's best game from this year (I embedded this highlight to show how he splashes 3's:

Dirk Sings and Other Stuff

Dirk karaoke's a Bruce Springsteen song:



 Lamar doesn't know what team he's on. Also, he's fat:

Under Armour Micro G Charge Shoes

This shoe goes up to your knee

 Damn this is a strange shoe, Under Armour!  For $139 it sounds like you're getting a steal on the square inches of material to dollar cost price point. Those lowtop Kobe's are a rip off using this metric.

I like how the Under Armour Micro G Charge's are called "ridiculously light" but at 16.4 oz's they are definitely on the heavy end of basketball shoes these days.

I like how it's shiny on the back. I'm attracted to shiny things.

You better be a frigging BALLER if you show up to the hardwood wearing these kicks. Like the best guy on the court type baller where onlookers say "that dude with those wacked out shoes is BALLIN". If you're really good they'll say "did dis dude just did dis?".

Regardless, I think that Nextian Toomie with his ever-sprained ankles needs to get a pair of the Micro G Charge's. And please click-through with this link so that an OG Nextian can make $0.87 on your purchase.

STOP FLOPPING Blake Griffin!

Just a classic video right here. Eternal flopper/douche nugget Blake Griffin flops like Julliard Graduate in this here clip. Not once, but TWICE.  He flops when David Lee has his arm on him, he then proceeds to douchily chest bump D Lee, and he even flops when the ref touches his abdominal region. Do you think when Griffin goes home to his mansion and accidentally brushes against his sofa that he recoils sideways 3 to 4 feet and gives his couch that lamest of lame "WTF bro!?" look? Probably.

Steph Curry Likes Boobs!

During the Saturday 11/3/12 gutsy Warriors win over the whiney/complainy Clips in LA, Steph Curry decided to sneak a peak at the lady in the courtside seats.  I mean, how could you not when her gazongas are literally jumping right out at you:

Don't get distracted Steph!

 Steph probably had his eye on this wonderful human being from the beginning and thought: "now's the time to take a look, she's gonna sit down!".  Unfortunately, Curry had the camera on him and he was caught red handed.

And this was the moment Steph and all the camera guys were waiting for

BOOM! There you go. Fortunately, Steph's red hand carried over from being caught sneaking peaks to draining J's (6-16), I mean free throws (9-10).

Free James Harden!

James Harden dominates yet again in his 2nd game on Houston. The Rockets were up big in the first half, lost their lead, and were actually down a few points around the 5 minute mark. This is when Harden steps it up. He puts the Rocknuts on his back and keeps scoring until the Rockets walk away with a 109-102 victory.  This 45 point performance wasn't in some blowout win or loss.  Those points were scored in a legit come from behind victory.

Notice his drives, how he holds his arms straight out while still protecting the ball in order to initiate contact. He dominates athletic shot blockers like Josh Smiff more than once making me wish I drafted Harden in the first round of one of my fantasy leagues instead of Josh.

Harden has scored 82 points in his first two games with Houston and is third on the list of "most points scored in first two games with a new team" behind Wilt and MJ.

NEXT Dumps 11/2/12

NEXT Dumps is a frequent OG Nextian posting about things that may pique interest. I read about the Association while watching many games and all game highlights, aggressively research Kanye West's influence on Music while listening to every episode of The Howard Stern Show and a bit of Adam Carolla. If you want a link for a specific topic that I was too lazy busy awesome to provide, please leave a comment and I'll get it posted.

Nextian Todd explores the OG Warriors in China by posing with the terracotta warriors

•  I  just finished reading fellow Nextian Toddmy's blog about his trip to China with his wife. Now I want to go there and get free beer and fruit for speaking with Chinese students learning English.
• A maddening game by Russell Westbrook last night. Ill timed and forced shots, boneheaded turnovers, and blew his defensive assignment on Tony Parker on the last possession leading to a walk off Parker jumper over Ibaka and a victorious victory by Los Spurs. Westbrook was 6-21 from the floor and Durantula shot 50%.  Maybe find that teammate of yours, Russ?  Anyway, I usually like to oppose anything that Reggie Miller comments on during a game he works (he was ripping into Russ somewhat mercilessly) but this game full of bad decisions was just obvious to all viewers. Harden 1, Thunder 0. Yes, there is a scorecard.
• Durantula became the 2nd youngest dude to reach 10,000 points. #1 on the list was the guy who should have also been drafted ahead of him in all fantasy drafts: LeBron James.
• You should do some googling on Eric Gordon and why he's not playing for the Hornets. This is a hilarious story. Actually, don't do that. This is motivating me to do a NEXTIANS SPECIAL article.
• Speaking of NEXTIANS SPECIAL articles, I've written a few the most recent about Christian Laettner's career and the most popular about Blake Griffin's parents. In case you haven't noticed I try to just state facts without adding any opinion. These posts get a lot of hits and any comments on this blog are usually on these pieces. The comments always seem misinterpret the point of the "article" and think that I am either bashing or praising the subject.  I find this funny and an interesting case in human psychology in the sense that if you have a strong opinion about something, you are likely interpret a statement/article/etc. on that something to support your viewpoint. The ego's need to always be right? Me thinks so.
• Here is your Youtube of the Day
• Kevin Love is going to be out longer than imagined. Mid-December they say. Maybe Kevin and Ricky will return on the same day? That would be awesome. "No More Knuckle Pushups". I'm going to make a 'Scause wristband out of that to inform the people.
• Andrew Bogut is expected to play on Friday against the Grizzlies and then rest on Saturday against the Clippers. And so continues the year of a "healthy" Andrew Bogut. We'll see how Monta Ellis does in his opener tonight (he shot terribly in the pre-season).
• How much does everyone think that the Knew Look Knicks will lose by tonight in their season opener against the Heatles? I'm guessing 13.
• I'd advise watching this Political Ad and all episodes of NITN

NEXT Dumps 11/1/12

NEXT Dumps is a frequent OG Nextian posting about things that may pique interest. I read a lot about the Association while watching many games and all game highlights, aggressively research Dub Step Music and Health Care Reform while listening to every episode of The Howard Stern Show and a bit of Adam Carolla. If you want a link for a specific topic that I was too lazy busy to provide, please leave a comment and I'll get it posted.

The Pistons attempt at "defense" was hilarious. These two dropped a combined 49 points and 20 assists.

• The Lakers are 0-2 and Kobe must be fuming. Dwight commented on his Halloween 33 point 14 rebound performance where he hit 15 of 19 free throws by saying "So, do I get my Halloween candy? I made my free throws." Kobe probably read/heard this comment and now wants to strangle Superman II.

• Speaking of the Lakers @ Rip City matchup, rookie Damian Lillard lit it up going for 23 points and 11 assists. The Lakers only went on runs when he was on the bench. He was at Weber State last year. Damian is also from Oakland. Old Steve Nash couldn't contain Lillard and got a owie on his leg.

• The 3rd Party Debate on CNN was way better than any of the Obama/Romney Reality Show Ratings Generator Debates on the real news. I'm just sayin'. When is it OK to "throw your vote away"?

• Word on the street is that the Palace at Auburn Hills (Pistons) now only plays dance music.........and it is awesome.

• There is a correlation between increasing 3 point attempts and increased winning percentage. I'm guessing it has to do with spreading the floor out.

• I watched a video and now know 9 ways to score without having the ball. If only my teammates would pass the rock to me.

• Andrew Bogut won't play in the 2nd games of back to backs. Were the Warriors fans sold a bill of goods? Bogut has been a Warrior for 7 months now and played his first game last night getting in there for 18 minutes, scoring 8 points and grabbing 6 rodmans. He didn't play in the 4th quarter (a.k.a. Carl Landry time). I remember being told that he would be completely healthy to start this season. I guess it's too tough to predict health.

• James Harden? Yeah he was pretty good as a top dog in his first Houston game

• Here's your comedy Youtube of the day.