Carmelo's Crunchtime Offense

Melo went to the Kobe School of Krunchtime Offense this offseason

 Melo has been shooting terribly this year at just over 40%..  The Knicks are losing to everyone.  Amare can't get enough shots up because Melo hogs the ball and slows down the pace.  D'Antoni is going to get fired because he's not able to win with Ammelo.  NY is relying on a terribly out of shape Baron Davis to give them a spark after he comes back from an injury that caused Cleveland to amnesty his ass and has kept him out all season.  The Knicks only bright spot is recalling Jeremy Lin from their D-League Erie team who played one game, messed around, and got a triple double.  But as Warriors  fans we know what putting hope in Jeremy Lin eventually leads to.

Here to save you

Thanks to Posting and Toasting for much of this information....or at least links to information I eventually found elsewhere on the internets.

Durant Flag Football

I'm not sure why I never posted this awesome video of how awesome Kevin Durant is. Awesome.

The Other Dream Team

My mom wouldn't let me buy a tie-died Lithuanian shirt in Middle School

In 1992 the Lithuania national basketball team won the Olympic Bronze Medal by defeating their former occupier. This one looks like some serious waterworks for fans of international politics, basketball, and Sarunas Marciulionis.  I mean, Jim friging Lampley is crying in it!



Thanks to True Hoop for the lead.

Pacers @ Warriors 1/20/12

The Warriors lost the game this time.

Philadelphia 76ers Mascot

Big Daddy is the new mascot of the 76ers.

Speaking of the 76ers, Cuba Gooding Jr. said "rock out with your cock out" on Sports Center today.



Thanks to Barstool Sports

Ever Wonder Who Blake Griffin's Parents Are?

Tommy, Blake & Gail Griffin

Have you ever wondered who Blake Griffin's parents are?  I have.  Tommy is his dad and was a basketball center and track standout at NAIA Northwest Oklahoma University.  Blake's older brother, Taylor, used to play for the Phoenix Suns last year before he was demoted to the D-League.  Now he's playing in Belgium. Blake grew up and is good friends with current St. Louis Rams QB Sam Bradford. Gail Griffin, Blake and Taylor's mother, home schooled the boys until Taylor was in 10th(!) grade and Blake was in 8th.  Gail also has red hair.

Warriors @ Cavs 1/17/12

A solid road win. The Cavs are actually playing well this year, sukkas!

Warriors @ Pistons 1/15/12

It's not hard to beat the Pistons these days. Even in Detroit where nobody is showing up to their games. So sad.

Mark Jackson -- Biggest Coaching Flop So Far?

Bionic Blue Arms cannot help Dwight from the stripe....but that's OK

The Warriors played pretty well last night.  They jumped out to an early lead, inevitably lost it, and even came back to tie the score with under 1:30 left (if my memory serves me correct).  But Coach Mark Jackson may have made the biggest mistake in his short coaching tenure last night when he implemented "hack-a-How" in the 2nd quarter and then again deep into the 2nd half allowing Superman to attempt 39 free throws, an Association record surpassing the 34 Wilt Chamberlain attempted 67 years ago (or something pretty close to that).

Dwight was shooting about 45% from the line this year.  He's a 59.5% career shooter and you have to assume that when someone shoots 39 times from the line in one game he's going to revert more towards his career average than his season average (unless your name is Andris Biedrins).

As John Hollinger analyzes in today's PER Diem, 59.5% from the line leads to 1.19 points per possession.  If you are intentionally OK with this, then you are intentionally OK with the greatest offense of all time.  And this doesn't even account for the times where Dwight misses the back end of a 2 shot foul and his teammates secure the rebound for another valuable possession.

Bottom line, Hack-a-brick doesn't work on Dwight and Mark Jackson most likely just coached himself to a loss in a game that his team could have won outright.

And if you hate numbers, just know that the crowd's enthusiasm was completely sucked out of the rOracle last night.  I remember announcer Steve Kerrrrr mentioning this.

Magic @ Warriors 1/12/12

Dwight Howard shoots free throws with raptor arms like Shawn Marion. Except that Shawn Marion actually makes shots.

Torn Pectorals

I didn't feel like tracking down pictures of Kwame and Horford. SORRY.

 Dude, there were two torn pectoral muscles announced yesterday on centers causing them to miss significant time.  Kwame Brown and Al Horford. How weird is that?

1/11/12: Warriors Beat Heat

It started off as gumbyorpokey. Last year it was the infamous orangino.  I thought all hope was lost for this season as the NBA web sweepers took off these prior YouTube accounts which put together great highlight packages of every Warrior game.  They wouldn't just play a few Warrior made shots and call it a clip show. They'd let the announcers talk, they'd show the flow of the game which included Warrior turnovers, missed shots, as well as great plays by the other team.  They'd of course show Warrior Owner Joe Lacob going apeshit (8:18 mark of video below).

Now they are back! As gumbyandpokey, a hidden youtube account, and access that I won't share unless you IM me on AOL, I can hopefully post the storytime clips for all Warriors games this shortened season.  Enjoy Tuesday's comeback victory over the Heatles.  Gumby/Pokey/Orangino is back serving us all.  Amen, brother:

Warriors Beat Heat 1/10/11

Down 17 points a few minutes into the 3rd Quarter, Golden State began to turn it on.  The Big Threetles began to crap the bed and Nate Rob chipped in some great bench points with Dorell Wright finally having a decent game (it took long enough, DORELL!) vs. his former team.

This all caused Warrior Owner Joe Lacob to freak the hell out:



If you didn't happen to "Witness" the game (and LeBron's crunch time settle-jumpers) read about it HERE

Gustavo Ayon

1/9/12 NO/DEN Screenshot

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Harlan, Barkley & Miller Behind The Scenes

Chuck talks about Weight Watchers, Harlan calls the Hawks terrible. Good times!

Ultimate Bench Guy

If only Isetta and I were this smart sitting on MC's JV bench 18 years ago.

High School Hardass

Some Dad/fan of the team in the visiting maroon jerseys decided to compile these crazy fouls from the fat kid on the white team. These refs are actually better than what I'm used to.  Foul #5 would have been called a jump ball in the Novato Park & Rec Sunday League.

I would have thought the maroon flag waiving parents would have been a bit more pissed in real time about this. Especially after that kid got laid out. I know they were in enemy territory and all but aren't there a few dads or chippy moms out there would would have at least yelled at the ref? Way to protect your kids, parents.

It's worth it to read the commentary HERE. Also, find your way to the youtube comments to see how crazy people are.

Weekly Chat

Draftboard of proof

OG Nextian and Bilbo are back! talking about The Nextian live in-person draft that took place a few weeks ago. We decided to go through each round and offer our critique.  Enjoy the rambling.

What Bilbo did during summer vacation

What OG Nextian did

OG Nextian:  Bilbo, the Association games have finally started and what a Christmas gift indeed.  In these first three days we’ve learned that the Lakers, Mavericks, and Celtics are done for, the Clippers will win the West, and that the Heatles will run a version of Oregon football’s spread offense in basketball form all the way to the Larry O’Brien trophy.  Of course both of us had an amazing performance in THE Nextians official fantasy basketball draft ‘11/’12 by our current one – two standing after three full days.  This should be an epic battle atop the leader board all season long as there is no doubt in my mind that our teams will finish at least 20 points ahead of everyone else in THE Nextians league.  So let’s go through each round and discuss any surprises or reaches.  Why don’t you tell me 1) your feelings on having 10 of 12 Nextians DOING IT LIVE at Toddmy’s apartment for the draft, and, B) what your thoughts were on the 1^st 3 rounds of Nextians drafting.  Any surprises or solid picks you liked?

OG BILBO: I found the experience eye-opening. The first thing I noticed was that most of the guys in the league were not prepared. I always pictured my fellow managers at their computers during a draft meticulously picking according to a carefully planned draft strategy. That is definitely not the case. It was striking how unprepared some of the managers were. I won’t name names, but there was a certain Sacto Rookie drafted about 38 rounds too early. People have been kicked out of leagues for less. But I digress. The first 3 rounds went as expected more or less. I think on paper “The Champs” made out like a bandito taking D-Wade, Amare and John Wall with his first 3 picks. Sure the TOs could kill him, but that’s a great start to a winning team. I also think Steph Curry at the end of the 2^nd rd could be an incredible selection, assuming his ankle issues calm down. And I think Tommy taking Danny Granger in the 3^rd was a smart call. The one reach was Ginobli in the 2^nd. Do I really need to say why? And of course I was happy to land Crash Wallace in the 3^rd round. He fits perfectly into my team building strategy and at least for my squad was a steal. 

OG Nextian: I would say there were about 3 unprepared managers.  I too was surprising to see that there were that many slackers.  True colors were revealed at the draft!  And here I always thought that THE Nextians put together algorithmic spreadsheets upon 37 hours of pre-draft preparation on their laptops. I mean, some of us definitely do that but others fly by the seat of their pants hanging onto strong finishes of lucky drafts in the past and thinking that it will repeat. 

The other thing that I noticed was that there were some guys who stuck to a strategy and others who rolled with the punches of a draft creating their team on the fly.  It was fun to see both strategeries in action.  Also, I felt that some managers who I thought were quick thinkers took their time in drafting a pick.  They really wanted to make sure they were doing the right thing.  Whereas other guys took a while to pick because they were thoroughly unprepared and didn’t even know they were on deck to pick (obviously the 3 unprepared managers). 

Going back to The Champs I felt that he used his knowledge well to put together a good few rounds.  Noah in the 4^th balanced his team well but then he lost me with drafting DumbMarcus, Beasley, and Stephen Jackson in rounds 5-8.  It could work out but that’s too much crazy for me.  If Turd’s dream of “crazy points” ever came true The Champs would easily get 12 roto points. 

Jimmer in the 5^th was amazing.  That was at least about 7 rounds early.  I think that Team Jimmer is the one squad who may have relegated himself to a bottom 3 finish.  I do know that he’ll finish last in points.  Who will average over 18 points on that team aside from Love?  I think that Monta’s Mobile took a big hit with Brook Lopez in the 5^th going down for the season the very next day.  That’s a kind of pick that will really be hard to bounce back from. When looking at rounds 4-6 the eternal fantasy basketball couple Timmay and Turd picked really well.  Timmay’s Joe Johnson, Nene and Bargnani picks were great and Turd aced it with Millsap, McGee and Gallinari.  In rounds 4-6 you do need quality players and it’s much too early to draft a flier (too young or too old) in my humble opinion. 

Did you see any quality in rounds 7-10 that worked out well for teams?  I guess this is where you start to draft said fliers but there is still some great quality there.  Also, what are your thoughts strategy in these rounds? 

OG BILBO: The middle rounds are by far my favorite portion of the draft. This is where you round out your starting line ups and take chances on sleeper picks. After these rounds it turns into a crapshoot so this is where you can really improve your team’s chances. I think Kris Kardashian in the 9^th was a great pick for your squad and guys like Afflalo, Amir Johnson, Teague, Jordan, Landry Fields and Kyrie Irving will all perform better than where they were selected. 

OG Nextian: In rounds 7-10 you went with some quality guys in Batum, Teague, George and Steady Eddie Maggette.  There’s some potential with those 7, 8, and 9 round picks.  And, well, Maggette has a terrible assist to turnover ratio but does get to the line a bunch. 

In Rounds 11-15 I liked a few picks.  There’s so much garbage or sleeper potential here but I have to say that if you do it right you will get guys who will contribute to your team all season long.  Remember, a fantasy basketball team can only stand so many sleepers or dirt balls.  That being said, I liked guys like Tony Allen, Budinger, Carl Landry and Jamal Crawford.  And if Jamison plays well I could have just started “Jamison-gate” by not making it explicitly clear to all who weren’t listening that Josh drafted Kemba Walker in the 9^th thereby making Antwan available with me grabbing him in the 12^th.  But, hey, there’s always a So n’ So–gate in every fantasy league we play in. 

The 15^th and final round was funny to me.  First of all, Hinkey decides not to make a pick while smart managers like you and Timmay grab Al “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle” Harrington and Mo Williams.  You see, one doesn’t have to pick a shit bag or swing for a jonrón in the last round.  You can actually draft someone who will totally start for you team if one thing goes their way. 

Any more thoughts on the draft or should I just post this thing already? I know you will act like a lawyer and rap this draft talk up in a nice little wiener package for all of us. All I have to say is that guys who complain how long a draft takes and who are also the main culprits for how long a draft is taking need to figure things out. 

OG Bilbo:  yes, you are right.  I'm enjoying 1st place at the moment and you're not too far behind. Obviously we are amazing Nextians.

OG Nextian: agreed.