LeBron beat at H.O.R.S.E.

This normal everyday average homeboy puts down some circus moves to beat LeBron James at H.O.R.S.E.

By the way, the Nextian league meeting will involve games of drunken H.O.R.S.E. So get your shits ready.

What is a Nextian?

Some people over the years have asked me "what is a Nextian?" Aside from the obvious derivation from a former Women's 'Professional' Basketball league slogan that won't be mentioned, a true Nextian is much more. We Nextians dislike women's professional basketball, but hold nothing against the women's college game. We follow NBA action with job harming fervor. We manage fantasy NBA squads and live or die by figuring out which NBA'ers are indeed Next.

Knowing what happens Next in life is a skill that few have had, currently have, or will have. It's the skill many claim but not many can actually pull off. The Vegas dickholes on early Saturday morning talk radio say they know the sure-fire lock of the week. But that's not Next. That's just a bunch of algorithmic mathemagical BS that's played against the spread. True Nextians know what will happen when someone is finally given a chance. They invest little cost in their choices which make the potential and eventual return that much greater and more exciting. Getting Kobe with the 3rd overall pick is not Nextian. It's common sense. Grabbing Bargnani off the waivers a week before Jermaine O'Neal got hurt just because you knew he was playing like shit is Next. Having the forsight to draft Chris Duhon or Paul Millsap in the 12th round is really fucking Next.

While ESPN searches for who's "Now" (LeBron and Tiger), they cannot do more than guess who is Next. Nextians throw the annual "Who's Next?" issue of ESPN Mag in the trash/recycle bin.

Numbers do not tell you who's Next. Next starts and ends with style. Which player's game exudes the confident flair that just seems extra ordinary? We're talkin' deuce chills when you see the guy ball. It's a sense of "holy crap" you get when you watch someone stroke their paintbrush. Think Ramon Sessions dishing out solid dimes with gusto. Think about the first time you saw Monta Ellis dominate someone off the dribble. Josh Smiff? Crash Wallace? You knew they were Next. D'Andre Jordan sucks even though he got 20 boards against the Warriors. Eddie House is a douche even though he's hit a bunch of threes lately. These guys are in no way Next. Getting 20 boards vs. the worst defensive team in the league makes you good, but not Next. Having three All Stars hit you with open looks from the arch doesn't make you great. Shit, even JJ Reddick can shoot the ball. I once saw this old guy make 100 free throws in a row while giving a speech about life at Stanford basketball camp when I was 12. That guy was more "douche" than "Next".

So there you have it. This post which I worked on at various points during the week is strikingly similar to Bill Simmons article about the Underrated but don't let that deter you from our definition. One of us will be an NBA scout some day. Or maybe we won't.

Double Alley Oop Team Strikes Again!

The Westchester Country Day School Team does it again! This clip is pretty dope but it seems like the first 'Ooper could have laid it in or dunked it down. Not quite as impressive but these kids could seriously be changing the game.

Jazz Euro Dance Off

Who do you think has better dance skill? The Ukrainian Kyrylo Fesenko or the Greek Kosta Koufos?



Personally, I'd go Greek. Wait a second, that doesn't sound right. I may be missing something here but I think that I just admitted I'm gay. Anyway, here's another view of Fesenko's moves when totally serving Koufos:



Thanks be to Ball Don't Lie for allowing The Nextians to rip off their post.

Ballers Kissing

Most of you don't follow the wizards the way I do, so you probably missed this. Enjoy....




Turd get your hand out of your pants.

GP & C-Webb; Things Done Get Crazy

Many talk radio programs this morning were talking about Gary Payton and Chris Webber on last night's NBA on TNT program. In case you didn't see it, things done got a little crazy (and EJ didn't know how to reign them in):



But as we mentioned a few weeks back, Tha Glove and C-Webb are WAY more entertaining/crazy/annoying for 6 hours on NBA TV on Tuesday nights (channel 416 for you SF peeps). Here's a sample of their normal shenanigans with Ahmad Rashad getting a piece of the fist-bump action:



Bottom line: these guys have one upped Barkley at his own game. Chuck's drunken suspension has opened the door for more madness than most can handle. Hopefully Commish Stern hasn't caught wind of this yet.

The Alley-Oop 2.0

As we all learned in the previous post, Will Ferrell's black mother invented the Alley-Oop in the 1970's. Now here in 2009 we have Ike Nwamu and Deuce Bello of Westchester Country Day School pulling off some next-level 'ish with the Double Alley-Oop. Thanks to Ball Don't Lie for the next-level post.