TMZ: The Lakers Singing Edition

Pau Gasol can't sing

&

Ron Artest puts on a concert at the club where I spent my bachelor party

The Lakers Celebrate in Strange Fashion

Ron Artest was drunk and apparently drank extra for Phil Jackson (XI) who couldn't be there because he was getting his prostate checked....

"Before I came here, I had Miller Lite, I had a little sip of Hennessey -- I wasn't playing -- so I enjoyed it for him. Phil, you rest, and I enjoyed it for you."

Ron, that's a sweet hat! Apparently, his daughter Diamond made it for him. "Why are you staring at me, daughter!"

Those pants are hip hoppin Ron-Ron! But why isn't Adam Morrison on Jimmy Kimmel Live with the rest of the Lakers? I mean, c'mon now. DJ Mmmmmbenga (who has his own publicist) and Josh Powell were there? Why not Mr. Moustachio!?



More by Ron-Ron:

"I'm going to really enjoy myself, and hopefully this doesn't come across as arrogant or cocky, but I'm going to en-joy my-self," Artest said. "How am I going to enjoy myself? Go to the club, every day."

Ron, thank your Psychiatrist, you're a Champion:



What a great Laker parade celebration indeed. If only they still had this guy on their squad:


Thanks to BDL, yet again.

Ron Artest Post-Game Interview Game 7

Ron Artest is REAL. Real Crazy/Awesome!

The Artest Clan Celebrates

This is a fun little video. Ron talks about all of his hard work (somtimes going to the gym 5x's a day?), California vs. Texas state taxes, and his genuine remorse for doing his old Pacers teammates wrong. Hanna Storm and her legs then want to babysit Ron-Ron's children.

Ron Artest Sucks at Offense: Game 2 Evidence

More about Artest's offensive ineptitude below from Langston Whittaker's blog on SLAM:

By far the strangest sequence of Game 2 came with 1:12 to go in the game. Kendrick Perkins had knocked in two free throws to give Boston a 98-90 lead. L.A. inbounded to Artest, who dribbled the ball all the way up the right side of the court (dribbling left-handed, for some reason). With 1:07 to go, Artest paused just outside the three point line and surveyed the floor. Paul Pierce was guarding him, but not too closely, not wanting to foul and stop the clock. Artest signaled up top for Kobe to come to him and get the ball, but Kobe froze, not wanting to run his defender (Ray Allen) into Artest’s space. Andrew Bynum then came toward Artest to set a pick on Pierce, but Artest didn’t wait long enough for the pick, and instead just started dribbling toward the middle of the floor. Pierce bothered him enough to push Artest down to the left block. His dribble still alive, and I suppose suddenly realizing that the Lakers could use a three, Artest turned and dribbled up toward the left elbow. By now the clock was at 1:02, and the Lakers had run 10 seconds off the clock with nobody touching the ball but Artest. The crowd begins screaming, reminding Artest that time is of essence. Artest dribbled out to the three point line on the left wing and picked up his dribble, so Pierce ran up on him, cutting off any open jumper. Artest half-heartedly pump-faked, pivoted back, then forward, and ended up taking a contested three with his foot on the line and 57 seconds left in the game. The shot didn’t come close. The other Lakers players on this play mostly just stood around and watched Artest, as amazed as everyone else at what was unfolding. Hilariously, the shot was such a brick that it bounced over all the Celtic rebounders and to Pau Gasol, who tipped it to Kobe up top, and Kobe immediately drained a 25-footer to cut it to 98-93 with 53 seconds left. But what was Artest doing?

After the game, someone asked Phil Jackson about it, for maybe my favorite sequence of the Finals:

Q: Does Ron get a little lost out there offensively? Is it the stage? Is it the pressure? There was one play towards the end where he ran around for about ten seconds and threw up a three.

PHIL JACKSON: It’s one of the more unusual sequences I’ve ever witnessed. You know, he’s just trying to redeem himself. He’s trying to get himself involved in the game and trying to redeem himself for I think he made a bad pass earlier in the sequence.

Q. But this is a pretty big stage to be doing that at that particular moment.

PHIL JACKSON: Sure, very good observation.

Q. Have you had a conversation with him about whether he needs to go that route?

PHIL JACKSON: Yeah, sure, I’ll have a conversation with him.

Between Games 1 and 2 at one of the media days someone asked Ron Ron about his offense. He said, “Offense is kind of like the lottery for me. Whatever happens, happens.” He paused briefly, glanced around, then asked, “Does that make sense? Is that a good comparison?”

Heeeere's Ronnie!

Ron Artest is crazy. But at least he has seemed to focus his craziness on harassing the hell out of his opponents in this most delicious of 2010 Playoffs. Heck, he even harasses Laker fans when he goes 1/8 and puts up shots early in the shot clock under a minute left in a 3 point game. But that's besides the point because Ronnie's face is on a sweet t-shirt.

Grab your crazy Ron tee HERE and head to Staples to support your boy.

Ronald Artest: In Lowrider Magazine

Hey, check it out! Ron Artest is doing something weird again! At this point, I think that Ron Artest doing "normal" stuff would be abnormal. Video of Ron Artest eating a sandwich would be more interesting than trying to be entertained by his crazily terrible rap videos or stupid magazine shoots. But until then, all we have is Ron Ron in Lowrider Magazine posing next to a few hot whores (yawn).

Artest Drank Hennessey at Halftime

How am I not surprised by this? Ron Artest admitted in an interview with Sporting News that he used to drink booze at halftime. Dude's a total gangster.

CHECK IT

Ron Artest: Workout Video

I am thisclose to transcribing the lyrics of this terrible video/song titled "Workout" by Ron Artest. He "raps" about sweating out alcohol and being caught with coke in his nose. Not to mention his really bad lip syncing during the alley way shots or the "Adrienne!" screams at the end of the vid.

Ron Artest: Blind

Please, please, please tell me that Ron Artest spends his own money making his music videos. Like, how much did he have to pay that Asian stripper to pretend to be his girlfriend? And how much did that "Lakers" shirt cost? Tru Warier Records is coming up big with this joint.



Also, did you see Ron-Ron chuck Ariza's shoe the other night? The tru deafinision of sportzmanship:

Ron Artest: Savior

I've read Three Cups of Tea. I've read The Kite Runner. I tried to read A Thousand Splendid Suns but got bored. And I'm guessing that Ron Artest has read these books as well. Which means that we both agree on one thing: Fuck The Taliban.

NBA Stories: Rubio & Artest

This week in "NBA Offseason Stories" leads us to a few doozies.

I have read many-a Sportsguy/Bethlehem Shoals/Mark Stein article about how Wolves GM David Khan totally botched the Ricky Rubio situation. Well, these guys should probably understand the facts before commenting. Assuming that Tim Powers of TwinCity.com is not lying, here's a great article talking about what happened to Ricky "The Human Mop" Rubio: CHECK IT . The only thing you can fault Khan for at this point was taking two PG's back to back.....which is actually still pretty dumb now that I think about it.


OK, I get it: Ron Artest is totally frigging nutjob wacko weird. But weirdness can be a good thing. CHECK IT

Props to True Hoop for posting these articles today. What, you think I actually read TwinCities.com and MLive.com with my 9 morning Five Hour Energy shots?

Michael Jackson Tributes by NBA'ers

This first NBA'er Michael Jackson tribute comes from the ever amazing Ron Artest. It took him a week, but Ron Ron laid down a track about MJ being his nigga. Artest has the means to turn out jams whenever he wants with a record under his belt on Tru Warier Records...which he also owns. My only question is why does Ron say he'll "see Michael next year"? Is Ron planning something after winning the NBA Championship next season?



Shaq follows Artest with a hilarious "Beat It" tribute involving a bunch of people in bathing suits, plastic knives, and a mis-spelling of "Michael" where he switched the "e" and "a" in text in the intro. What else could you expect from Shaqtus? Wait, what's his nickname now in Cleveland? Who the eff cares.

Trading Places

These pictures just look really weird

I'm Ron Artest

Here are the great post-game interviews Ron Artest gave after his Rockets lost to the Lakers on Wednesday night. Yes, the same game that Ron-Ron was eject for confronting Kobe after Kobe had elbowed his neck while going for a rebound. Artest is crazy, but his crazy logic is making sense to me. Wait, does that mean I'm crazy as well?




UPDATE: Holy crap, it appears as if the STABBING STORY is true!

Ron Artest of The Rockets

Here's Ron Artest in a radio interview a few days ago after The Rockets' game 1 win over the Balzers. I advise listening to this but if you can't, here are the awesome bullet points:

• Ron's feet hang off of hotel beds
• A lot of people, including RonRon, like breakfast at midnight
• The 48 year old Dikembe is playing like an All Star (he got hurt last night and retired an hour later after the game)
• Ron and Kevin Mart --of the Kings-- are good buddies
• If The Rockets make it to the 2nd Round, RonRon will get the entire team to rock the mo-hawk
• Aaron Brooks is the smallest person in the NBA according to Arest
• Kevin Garnett has a lot of mind control over his team
• RonRon doesn't take it day by day, or even minute by minute. He takes life possession by possession
• Artest watches Blues Clues before going to bed
• Ron just gets off the line, dead air, for about 30 seconds to eat his vitamins
• RonRon's vitamins are actually of the Flinstone Chewable category
• Artest wears velvet barbed wire pattern Versace boxers
• According to Ron Artest, you've got to respect your opponent otherwise Golden State beats Dallas
• Von Wafer will be an All-Star one day.........if he wants to (WTF?)
• The vitamins that Artest eats before bedtime are actually that of the Flintstone Chewable category. He doesn't eat the lady vitamin, or the man. He only eats the car.
• Artest has tried to get Shane Battier to read him a story before bed but Battier won't do it

Now THAT was awesome. Artest = pure entertainment.