Evan "The Villain" Turner & Meatwad

So apparently Meatwad from Aqua Teen Hunger Force has the ability to change himself into humans as well as meat-shaped igloo's. Evan Turner of THE Ohio State Men's basketball team has been in the national spotlight a lot this past week. With his game-winner against Michigan, then overall domination of Illinois and Minnesota, his post-game interviews have been aplenty. Listening to him talk is when I was enlightened to the fact the he speaks and sounds eerily similar to Meatwad. I'll let you be the judge.

PS-Look for Ohio State to make a deep run in the big dance this year. They're coming in HOT! HOT.

Allen Iverson's New Career

It appears as if Allen Iverson's late nights of drinking and gambling have finally caught up with him. We are led to believe that this is at least part of the reason AI's wife Tawana recently filed for divorce. Such a convenient time for Steven A. Smith to write this story bashing AI, don't you think?

Tawana's gravy train came to a screeching halt. Not only is their daughter suffering from a strange and mysterious illness, but AI is no longer a star. Quick! Put the "Post Allen Iverson Career Plan" into motion. Time to call the lawyer.

Lucrative multi-million dollar contracts won't be signed anymore as the prime years of AI's NBA athlete earning power are over. Tawana, now's the time to get half of that money before the bank account starts drying up like Antoine Walker's. Right? Some call her mean and insensitive. I call her smart.

(Wait a second, no one has called her mean and insensitive? No one has put the pieces together? You actually believe that Steven A. Smith cares about AI? Have you seen this guy on TV?)

AI's career is effectively over and a good portion of his fortune will be in his ex-wife's hands (minus whatever expense Tawana paid Steven A Smith to write the above Philadelphia Inquirer article on Monday). So let's help Mr. Iverson figure out what his next step should be.

Maybe AI's new career can be "artist". No, no. Not a "40 Bars" type lyrical artist, silly. He's already tried that move and everyone knows that the music industry is all but dead due to the pirates. I'm talking about an artist that draws stuff for a living. It sounds like Iverson has some serious skill in that regard. Now that sounds like a plan!

Mike Bibby!

I recently won an E-bay auction for this Mike Bibby doll from when he played on the Kings. Boy, did those 2002 Playoffs SUCK! The NBA is rigged!

Anyway, I decided to put the Mike Bibby doll on my bedside table and I started having some crazy dreams. I kept hearing a voice in my head which sounded like Kermit The Frog. I also developed a strong dislike for Eddie House. And then I realized what was going on: Mike Bibby was haunting my dreams!

So I moved the Mike Bibby action figure to the play room where I keep all of my legos. Thankfully, my sleeping patterns have returned to normal.

Scalabrine is an Idiot

This video is frigging hilarious:

Yao Ming's Kid

Chinese people are going crazy that Yao Ming and his wife had some crazy doggy style sex, got pregnant, and might have their 1st baby outside of China in The US of A. According to shit I've read, China doesn't recognize dual citizenship and these commies are going ape shit nuts.

Dude, Chinese people need to chill the heck out and let Yao do what he wants. That tall bastard should defect.

Jonas Jerebko's Parents

6'10" Jonas Jerebko of the Detroit Pistons has been a surprise this year as a rookie. He's averaging 9 points, pulling down 5.6 boards while shooting almost 50% from the field and has been playing better as a starter for the past 15 games. I didn't bother to look up his PER or his Adjusted +/- so I apologize for that.

Jonas the first Swedish born basketball player drafted into the NBA and was picked in the 2nd Round by Joe Dumars, 39th overall. The national media hasn't made as much of a fuss about his Swedish roots as they have about Omri Casspi's partly due to the fact that Swedish people can give a shit about the NBA. Israeli's, on the other hand, are absolutely mad about basketball and are waking up as a country at 4:30 am to watch Omri lose another game on the Kings.

But even if Sweden doesn't care, Jonas' parents do. Here's his mom rooting for her son in yet another Piston's loss last night to the Celtics.

This picture is funny because it reminds me of when my brother used to wear a turtle neck under his basketball jersey in 4th grade. That is all.

I Used To Like The Thunder

And then I heard THIS SONG

In case you don't know, "Rumble" is OKC's mascot who's a giant bear-like sasquatch/man-bear-pig. Half Man. Half Bear. Half Pig.