Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Best 10 Year Old Basketball Player in America

This kid is dope! The only thing I see wrong with his situation is that he's wearing some old Kobe's. Get some Hyperize on your kid, Pops!

Thanks to True Hoop

NBA Jam 2010

How they brought NBA Jam Back From The Dead

This game is going to be so illmatic! I can't wait to have Nextians NBA Jam tournaments over at Bilbo's house.

Caron Butler Pimps Maverick Musk

Now this is some hilarious 'ish right here! Here's Tough Juice's parody of that crazy Old Spice Body Wash commercial:

Props to Ball Don't Lie

Hedo Likes To Party

Hedo Turkoglu loves his party more than his basketball. After leaving Friday's game due to a stomach issue, Hedo was spotted and a Toronto-area night club making the party. Since Raptors fans are a passionate bunch, the crazy Canucks decided to rat out their under performing free agent signing by emailing team officials and the media.

The Basketball Jones has exclusive video of Hedo making his party all over Toronto:

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Don't Sweat The Technique

Back when The Bulls beat The Blazers in 6, the Warriors had the best offense and worst defense in the league with Chris Mullin, Tim Hardaway and Sarunas Marciulionus leading the charge, and Detlef Schrempf was the 6th man of the year; Eric B. and Rakim ruled the earth:

I highly advise "enlarging" the video to "enlarge" the 80's booty. Delicious!

Monday, March 29, 2010

New York Knicks Cheerlearder Fail

OUCH! She got up faster than Eddy Curry at least:

Thanks via TrueHoop

Insane Blade

Do you ever find yourself laughing and you don't know why? That's the genius of the Insane Blade video:

Saturday, March 27, 2010

Warriors vs. Grizzlies (3.24.10)

Orangino's edit gives us a nice look into the energy that the Warriors are putting out there as this lost season winds down. From D-Leaguers playing their asses off to Steph Curry developing into a great point guard, there are definitely some positive take aways here. The Dubs did lay the smack down on the 9th place team in the West, even though they are missing Gasol The Younger:

You may have also noticed from the clip that the rOracle crowd was really into the action. This no doubt comes from the revelation that majority owner Cohan is moving forward with selling the team. And though you can't tell the fans to stay home and chill out, you know that this type of enthusiasm is driving up the sell price that Gigalo Partners is using in the billionaire bidding war. Oh well. I'm sure Ellison is stressed too much over an extra ten mil here or there.

Speaking of billionaire's, check out the Nets new majority owner on the hardwood. I'm wondering if Prokhorov could beat Cuban 1 on 1? This 60 Minutes interview is on tomorrow (3.28.10)

Watch CBS News Videos Online

Friday, March 26, 2010

Arenas Sh*t In His Own Shoes

It's that point in the story when all of us already know that Gilbert Arenas avoided jail time with a relatively lenient sentencing of 20 days in a half-way house and 400 hours of community service from threatening Javaris Crittendon with unloaded guns. Gilbert appears a humble being and is probably dead-smack in the middle of learning and growing up as still a relatively young man. And instead of boring you with ESPN links to info on the situation (oops), I would like you to direct your attention to Jake Appleman of SLAM Magazine. From his revelation that he almost wrote a robust article detailing the NBA Media through the treatment of Gil-Zero, to the awesome links to other pertinent Hibachi breakdowns/articles, the fact is that Jake's is just one damn good piece.

UPDATE 3/28/10: check out True Hoops' Arenas piece. Nice work with that text message Gil!

Reality Is Funny: The Singing Addition

Unintentional comedy is the best. Here are a few doozies that have been recently discovered by the peoples who scour the internets.

Introducing John Daker:

At least Eduard Hil actually knows how to sing.....even if it's just Russian jibberish:

I hope you enjoyed your break from basketball and have a few songs stuck in your head.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Mark Titus: A Retrospective

Here is The Mark Titus Ohio State University story. Well done, chaps:

For Sale: Golden State Warriors

Did you hear? The Warriors are for sale! Majority Owner Chris Cohan has hired Gigalo Partners (or something) to move forward with selling The Dubs. Word on the street is that Oracle CEO Larry "My Name's On The Building" Ellison offered Cohan $315 million last summer but was turned down. San Jose Mercury writer Tim "Warriors Front Office PITA" Kawakami has said that Gigalo Partners are working to up the sale price and dudes like The Founder of 24 Hour Fitness and the SF Giants Managing Group are interested in addition to Ellison.

Check out Golden State of Mind to vote on The Dumbest Moves in Cohan's Ownership.

Monday, March 22, 2010

A Boombox Can Change Your Life!

Just in case you didn't know, a boombox will make you have sex:

Thursday, March 18, 2010

NBAers at The Olympic Club

The Olympic Club is a little organization in San Francisco. It is the oldest athletic club in the US of A and yours truly, The OG Nextian, is a cherished member. For a hefty monthly fee, I enjoy such membership benefits as basketball leagues, the ability to pay for food and drinks at the cafe, access to some sweet golf courses where I can pay to play golf at restricted times, and getting on the distro list for the basketball program. Check out some cool pics of NBAers at The OC!

The guy on the left is one of our all-time basketball greats at the OC. Kevin used to play for the Bucs back in the day and he probably battled Jackson a few times. I think Phil is wearing makeup. He's so LA now.

Mit, the guy on the right, is not in the NBA. But Chris Bosh, the Raptor-like man on the right who plays for The Raptors, is. Mit is a pretty dope scorer in the top level OC League but something tells me that Bosh can still take him.

The OC Basketball Staff all leached on to Kobe.........who of course was wearing his stunna shades. Douche!

Fidel runs the basketball leagues at The OC. He is short. Dirk plays PF for the Dallas Mavericks. He is tall.

A few OC Staff members pose with CP3. His eyes are so dreamy.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

This Kid is Gonna be GOOD

If this kid keeps up his work ethic, he should be a pretty good baller one day. This site is all about (rarely) what's next in the game of professional basketball and this kid deserves his shout out:

The Ivan Brothers

This is some pretty good commercializing!

Warriors vs. Lakers 3/15/10

Let's face it: Steph Curry is the man. Our now fearless Rookie took it as hard as he could at the Defending Champ Lakers and pushed the frentic Warriors style of "no rebounding but let's get some steals and run!" to the extreme. And it almost worked...

I know that Monta was ice-cold this game from the field. But does he really need to keep jacking up jumpers all game long (5/23)? I didn't mind the one he finally hit in transition at the end of the game, but I'm beginning to think that Monta just won't learn the game of basketball. Would trading him for Thabeet and Mayo have been a good call? Games like this make me think so.

But lets get back to praising Step. This is what the Laker's blog Silver Screen and Roll had to say about him:

"Stephen Curry is a rock star. I'm not sure I really understood that before tonight's game, a frantic and garbled 124 to 121 Lakers win over the Golden State Warriors, but I do now, and I apologize to him for being late to the party. The kid has an amazing suite of basketball skills, and I fully expect him to torture the Lakers throughout the coming decade.

Tonight he came achingly close to powering the Dubs to an upset. Curry scored 29 points on 73% True Shooting and distributed nine assists, delicious numbers even in a 100-possession NBA Jam game. No one on the Lakers could guard him. Not Shannon Brown, and most certainly not Derek Fisher. Despite running the offense on almost every possession he was on the floor, Curry committed zero turnovers. With three seconds left and Golden State down only three, he danced away from Fish for a clean look from 26 feet that was perfectly on line but just a touch long. The Lakers were lucky to survive the rook's magnificent performance."

People are loving this kid!

Lastly, Kobe Bryant continues to show his bitch side with this quote after the game on National TV (ESPN):

“You’re not going to see anything remotely close to this in the playoffs,” he said. “Not even close. There’s nothing you can gauge in this game. You just get out of here with a win and move on.”

I know that he's right but he's just such a bitch. Man, I love to hate this guy!

NBA Jam 2010

Holy crap this game is going to be awesome! I may live at Bilbo's house for a week when this first comes out.

I highly advise double clicking the video and checking out the HD version on You Tube.

Josh Smiff Touching Mike Bibby

This video is weird and great:

Thanks to Trey of Ball Don't Lie

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Evan "The Villain" Turner & Meatwad

So apparently Meatwad from Aqua Teen Hunger Force has the ability to change himself into humans as well as meat-shaped igloo's. Evan Turner of THE Ohio State Men's basketball team has been in the national spotlight a lot this past week. With his game-winner against Michigan, then overall domination of Illinois and Minnesota, his post-game interviews have been aplenty. Listening to him talk is when I was enlightened to the fact the he speaks and sounds eerily similar to Meatwad. I'll let you be the judge.

PS-Look for Ohio State to make a deep run in the big dance this year. They're coming in HOT! HOT.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Allen Iverson's New Career

It appears as if Allen Iverson's late nights of drinking and gambling have finally caught up with him. We are led to believe that this is at least part of the reason AI's wife Tawana recently filed for divorce. Such a convenient time for Steven A. Smith to write this story bashing AI, don't you think?

Tawana's gravy train came to a screeching halt. Not only is their daughter suffering from a strange and mysterious illness, but AI is no longer a star. Quick! Put the "Post Allen Iverson Career Plan" into motion. Time to call the lawyer.

Lucrative multi-million dollar contracts won't be signed anymore as the prime years of AI's NBA athlete earning power are over. Tawana, now's the time to get half of that money before the bank account starts drying up like Antoine Walker's. Right? Some call her mean and insensitive. I call her smart.

(Wait a second, no one has called her mean and insensitive? No one has put the pieces together? You actually believe that Steven A. Smith cares about AI? Have you seen this guy on TV?)

AI's career is effectively over and a good portion of his fortune will be in his ex-wife's hands (minus whatever expense Tawana paid Steven A Smith to write the above Philadelphia Inquirer article on Monday). So let's help Mr. Iverson figure out what his next step should be.

Maybe AI's new career can be "artist". No, no. Not a "40 Bars" type lyrical artist, silly. He's already tried that move and everyone knows that the music industry is all but dead due to the pirates. I'm talking about an artist that draws stuff for a living. It sounds like Iverson has some serious skill in that regard. Now that sounds like a plan!

Mike Bibby!

I recently won an E-bay auction for this Mike Bibby doll from when he played on the Kings. Boy, did those 2002 Playoffs SUCK! The NBA is rigged!

Anyway, I decided to put the Mike Bibby doll on my bedside table and I started having some crazy dreams. I kept hearing a voice in my head which sounded like Kermit The Frog. I also developed a strong dislike for Eddie House. And then I realized what was going on: Mike Bibby was haunting my dreams!

So I moved the Mike Bibby action figure to the play room where I keep all of my legos. Thankfully, my sleeping patterns have returned to normal.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Scalabrine is an Idiot

This video is frigging hilarious:

Yao Ming's Kid

Chinese people are going crazy that Yao Ming and his wife had some crazy doggy style sex, got pregnant, and might have their 1st baby outside of China in The US of A. According to shit I've read, China doesn't recognize dual citizenship and these commies are going ape shit nuts.

Dude, Chinese people need to chill the heck out and let Yao do what he wants. That tall bastard should defect.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Jonas Jerebko's Parents

6'10" Jonas Jerebko of the Detroit Pistons has been a surprise this year as a rookie. He's averaging 9 points, pulling down 5.6 boards while shooting almost 50% from the field and has been playing better as a starter for the past 15 games. I didn't bother to look up his PER or his Adjusted +/- so I apologize for that.

Jonas the first Swedish born basketball player drafted into the NBA and was picked in the 2nd Round by Joe Dumars, 39th overall. The national media hasn't made as much of a fuss about his Swedish roots as they have about Omri Casspi's partly due to the fact that Swedish people can give a shit about the NBA. Israeli's, on the other hand, are absolutely mad about basketball and are waking up as a country at 4:30 am to watch Omri lose another game on the Kings.

But even if Sweden doesn't care, Jonas' parents do. Here's his mom rooting for her son in yet another Piston's loss last night to the Celtics.

This picture is funny because it reminds me of when my brother used to wear a turtle neck under his basketball jersey in 4th grade. That is all.

Monday, March 1, 2010

I Used To Like The Thunder

And then I heard THIS SONG

In case you don't know, "Rumble" is OKC's mascot who's a giant bear-like sasquatch/man-bear-pig. Half Man. Half Bear. Half Pig.