Thursday, January 28, 2010

OG Nextian = David West

I got this super sweet David West t-shirt-jersey on ebay. I won an auction and it was $4.99 total with shipping. I know you are all jealous because David West is a former All-Star and one tough mofo.

Word up to Barthy, btw.

Warriors vs. Hornets: 11/27/10 orangino edit

I watched this game last night on DVR and just skipped the entire 4th Quarter (although I did make sure that the Warriors didn't somehow come back by FF'ding to the last 4 minutes). The Dubs were down 27 at one point in the 3rd after a 7 point halftime deficit. Barf in mouth gross.

The first quarter was a lot of fun with Monta racking up the assists and not shooting. It was good to see Beans put together some decent moves and actually catch some passes that were thrown to him. I swear, some assistant coach just needs to rifle basketballs at this guy in practice from 20 feet away screaming "if it hit's your hands, you catch it!!" Shit, the Warriors were actually shooting like 56% at halftime! (a guess.........there's no way I'm researching that)

But then the effort died. Mix that in with a little bit of CP-3 doing his thang on a Hornets team that has been playing really well and you have a serious ass kicking of the Dubs. Congrats to the Hornets for hanging around and playing like some sort of cost effective version of their former 59 win selves. I thought that there was the potential for them to drift away with all of their issues earlier this year. But CP-3 is magic. New Orleans fans should count their blessings.........or whatever their vodoo religion tells them to count.

As always, here's the orangino edit. That dude can make any shitball Warriors game fun to watch in 9 minutes or less! Wait a second, this one was only 1:49? That just tells you how bad that game was:

Amar'e Opting In

Here is an awesomely insightful piece by KD over at Ball Don't Lie about why Phoenix is looking to get out of Amar'e's contract via trade before the season's end.


This post also gave me a reason to put up a picture of Stoudemire's sweet Oakley Blades. Incredible.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Shaun White and his Private....Parts.......?

Wait, no, no. And his Private Half-Pipe! Yeah, that's it. All this Greg Oden twitter nude pics BS has got me all mixed up. Now, check out this short video complete with Lord of the Rings music. The USA Snowboard Team is going to dominate the Winter Olympics...yayyyyeah!

Gorilla Juiceheads


You can get your Jersey Shore Nickname HERE

I'm now known as "Deltoid". Fist pump!!

Monday, January 25, 2010

LeBron James is a Freemason!

Hurry up and watch this before the Illuminati take this down. LeBron James is a FREEMASON! This is some serious Davinci Code shit:

Part I:

Part II:

Remember When Steve Francis Was Dope?

Stevie Franchise did emit some of the more unpleasant aspects of the "me first", "one-on-one", "pay me fool!" NBA in late 90's/early aughts. He was drafted by the then Vancouver Grizzlies in '99 but refused to play for them. After a 38 person deal, Francis became a member of the Houston Rockets. But hot damn, could that kid jump! Enjoy the quick biography on Steve Francis:

And for all you high school kids and dads of high school kids out there, please hold down visions of your boy playing in the NBA unless he can actually do the type of shit that Steve could do in the first half of this video. Meal Ticket!

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Warriors vs. Suns: 1/23/10 orangino edit

The Dubs Scrubs did their best to defeat the hapless Suns. But Goran Dragic was just too much:

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Ready for Maggette

This is a significant stat:
Maggette became the first Warriors player to attempt 10 or more free throws in 11 consecutive games since Wilt Chamberlain in 1964.

Even more significant since he makes 84% of them!

Friday, January 22, 2010

LeBron Raps Like Eminem

LeBron was rapping this coming out of a timeout at the end of last night's game vs. The Lakers:

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Warriors vs. Nuggets: 1/21/10 orangino edit

"NOW WAIT A MINUTE! WAIT A MINUTE! ARE YOU KIDDING ME!" Tolliver should have gotten free throws at the end of regulation! Well, maybe not. But Monta does have a thing for fouling Nuggets at the end of quarters. To channel some Iverson "Practice" Press Conference: How is Monta supposed to be a franchise player if he's out there fouling at the end of quarters? Not getting outta the way. Not getting outta the way. But fouling. How's he supposed to make to make his teammates better by fouling? ("The Bears are who we thought they were!!")

Another amazingly efficient game for "Who's ready for" the loss. And a big "suck it" to all the Maggette haters. I like the guy's hustle AND his hussle. Aside from the random ill-timed jumper (like Monta doesn't take any of those, does he?), which he doesn't take many of, he knows who he is and just gets to the line all frigging day. Teams know he is going to drive and can't do anything about it. And do I have to mention he makes almost every free throw? As always, enjoy the orangino edit:

Delonte West KFC Rap: Hot Sauce In My Bag

For those of you who haven't seen this amazing freestyle rap of Delonte West and Jameer Nelson at KFC waiting for their free chickens over the summer:

Just kidding. That wasn't Jameer. They only played together at St. Joes. But did you see those guns in the backseat? 4 different types of parfaits on your ass!

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Warriors vs. Bulls 11/18/10: orangino edit

Our pal on YouTubes orangino put together another solid edit of the Warriors MLK Day victory over the VDN-led Chicago Bulls. As Barnett said, "compassion" led to Andris' 1st FT make of the season:

Monday, January 18, 2010

Do You Suck @ Shooting?

Then please try these amazing products from Hoops King:

1. If you shoot a line drive shot the chances of it going in are slim to fucking none! So we've created a supersize ball to help your ass out. This supersize ball is the same weight as a normal rock, but you better get some fucking arc on that J to get it through the hoop! $24.95 at Hoops King.

2. Your sucky shot may suck because you have a flying elbow. Flying elbows are wacked out big time because you look like you have a damn chicken wing. And that blows ass, my friends. The Shooting Buddy for $16.95 will solve your bullshit Joakim-Noah-sidespinning-junk you be throwing up at the rims on the regs.

3. So your shitty FG% ass can't get that off hand out of the shot, huh? Damn, you suck! I don't care if you ice threes from 4 feet beyond the arc with a two hand set shot. Getting your off hand involved in that shiz will make you look like a frigging CLOWN. The Shooting Strap will pull that off hand away from the ball and you'll be nailing chicks like a mad man after the game! Just $14.95 for some poontang is a small price to pay!

4. Are you some sort of dillhole who doesn't know how to put your hands on a basketball? If you need this product I'd have to guess that you don't know how to put your hands on a sexy female either, do you? Do you flare your pinky out and put some wacked-as-fuck-spin on your layups? Or do you get your palm all up on the ball during your Andris Biedrins-esq free throws? You must not be able to make shit if you do that! You must suck! Well, Hoops King has a product for you. The SkilCoach Shooter for $19.95 will turn you into a hero (from a zero).

5. Real Mutha Fuckin G's get their fingers on the basketball in just the right way in order to impart some net-spanking rotation on their Jumpers. Do you want to be a Real Mutha Fuckin G? I thought so! Get your damn palm off the rock when you launch with the Shot-Loc for only $19.99. Do it!

6. There are some jerkwads who think that shooting like Michael Redd with your arm all cocked and behind your head is the way to earn millions in the NBA. Well those assholes are WRONG! You need a 90 degree angle to be a ballin' ass baller these days. No more fancy pants ball chucking for you! For only $39.99 the Form Trainer is yours! Ahhh!!

Please visit us at for more super-intense shit that'll take your weak sauce game to the next level! Scream when you dribble!! Give us your money!!

The Basketball Jones: 500th Episode Party

Will The Nextians throw a 500th blog post party? Probably!

TBJ Ep. 500: Live From Toronto from The Basketball Jones on Vimeo.

Let's do some learnin'

Here is an amazing basketball instructional video portion by Jason Otter. Please take note, and incorporate these moves into your game. Most importantly the breathing (barking?) techniques past the 1:35 mark. WTF!

Marbury Going To China

Stephon Marbury and his crazy UStream antics are making their way to China next week.

Marbury is probably doing just fine in the skrill department (thanks to Isiah Thomas) because, as the article states, he is not making very much money and is using this as an opportunity to promote the Starbury product line. Jeans with a bodacious Starbury ass-patch for $18.98? Here you go China! It's ironic that all Starbury products are most likely Made-In-China, but that's neither here nor there. Anyway, once that $100 Million runs out all Steph has got is his brand to fund retirement. This is absolutely a smart move on Marbury's part.
What this newsflash also teaches us that Bonzi Wells scored 50 points per game over in China last year. And then he failed to come back after a vacation so his Shanxi Zhongyu team terminated his contract. There is nothing more to add.

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Warriors Host Bucks; 11/15/10 Edition

The Dubs really looked fatigued in this game. They built a decent second quarter lead only to let it slip away to The Brandon Jenningsis, I mean, The Bucks. The game was closer than the score because, as you will see at the end of the video, Steph Curry fouled out. But there wasn't anyone on the bench available so The Bucks got a technical free throw and two more. A 15 man roster down to 4 guys? How does this happen? Check the orangino edit and you will see. There are many reasons why The Warriors, on a huge homestand, are tired. Even Monta looks tired!

Be sure to peep Monta's incredible 1st Quarter sickness 360 reverse layup with the left hand that split Bogut and Ilyasova. Also enjoy Stephs steal barrage in the 3rd Quarter where he was owning The One, The Only, Brandon "Kid N' Play" Jennings (who isn't shooting as well he started: PEEP THIS to see inside the numbers).

Friday, January 15, 2010

Shawne Williams: Sellin' Drank

The recently acquired New Jersey Nets big man Shawne Williams was promptly released today after he was indicted on drug charges. As THIS ARTICLE points out, Shawne Williams was sellin' drank. Drank is a cough syrup based booze that Lil' Wayne has made so popular. Shit gets you fucked up for reals.

Thanks to Bethlehem Shoals for making the observation.

Birdman Loves Mattress

This amazing video teaches us that Chris "Birdman" Anderson actually has a bird call for himself. We also learn that Birdman loves mattress:

Thanks to Ball Don't Lie

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Steve Hess: Nuggets Trainer

I've been trying to figure out how to release this video to The Nextians community in order to provide full impact, and I think I've figured it out. First, just watch the video in it's entirety. It won't be hard to do:

Do you notice Steve Hess? If you've ever watched a Nuggets game you definitely have seen him behind their bench. Steve's got amazing hair, he's a Kiwi, he's super intense, he's pushing some workout band product, and he's the Denver Nugget's trainer. The intensity in which he's working the HELL out of that host on "Skinny Wednesday" was off the chain. The host then asks if there are any single guys on the Nuggets which Steve Hess deflects like a true pro.

.....all the while you were trying to figure out just what the HELL, I mean, heck CBN was. Right?

Suddenly, Pat Robertson flashes on the screen and it becomes immediately apparent that you were watching the Christian Broadcasting Network. Trippy. You then realize, if you've read this story, that Pat Robertson has recently come under fire for suggesting the 7.0-magnitude earthquake that devastated Haiti Tuesday was a because of a pact that Haitian leaders may have made with Satan 200 years ago. WHAT THE FUCK?

So, the question posed to you my Nextians, do you have a different view of the Nuggets now? Or are you just really confused? (Once again, thanks to Free Darko for the enlightenment.........oops, bad word to use).

The Chris Mullin Show

This is something to set your DVR's for because I think it's only on at 3:30 am on Tuesdays:

Sportsguy & Chad Ford Speak

On Monday, before the "Blake Griffin Out For The Year" news, Bill Simmons and Chad Ford talked for over an hour about trade rumors and possible 2010/2011 scenarios. For those of you who like that stuff, here you go:


Marquis Daniels: Player Bio

We all know that Marquis Daniels is now on the Boston Celtics with, unfortunately, yet another injury.

Marquis was best known for playing pretty well in years past when starters got hurt while on the Indiana Pacers. But do you know Marquis' full basketball history?

Prior to his NBA days, Marquis earned his stripes as a WNBA player on the Atlanta Dream as you can see in this game photo of him battling for a rebound against a few players of the Detroit Somethings. Hey, whatever it takes to get to the Association!

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Mr. Rainmaker

Mark Titus of the Ohio State Basketball Team of the NC2A has been challenged by many of his readers that he can't actually play the game. Being that he spends more time feverishly writing on his website and connecting with fans and serenading Evan Turner (the John Wall of the NCAA before he got hurt, then John Wall was John Wall, but now he's back) than actually making layups, I can see why.

This video changed my life and made me a better basketball player, and I expect it to do the same for you.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Warriors/Cavs; 1/11/10

Peep last nights highlights with another well-done orangino edit of last night's 3 point loss to the Cleveland Lebrons:

Monday, January 11, 2010

Official Nextians Beverage

It's been solved. The Nextians now have a new official road soda:

The Basketball Jones: 500th Episode Party

TBJ is just days away from their 500th Episode Party in some Canadian city like Vancouver or something. Here is their attempt at getting NBA'ers to show up and celebrate:

Sunday, January 10, 2010

In Other Washington Wizards News

What the heck is with the single sleeve of Jamison and Mike "Former Monkey Owner" Miller?

Friday, January 8, 2010

Let Your Soul Glo

This is total classic:

Now go out and get THIS SHIRT . And THESE PANTS.

Northstar @ Tahoe: Coupon

I was just going to social bookmark this page on my DIGG account but thought, heck, why not pass this along to the Nextian Crew? Here's a money saving coupon from Northstar at Tahoe. For all of you Ski Boarders who enjoy shredding a little bit of gnar gnar every now and then, HERE YOU GO

I'm resisting the urge to turn this into a snowboard blog.........

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Refs Shaft Warriors

The Warriors 1/5/10 loss vs. the Nuggets will be put in the Dubs-Getting-Shafted Pantheon/Storage Locker. An incredible game to watch turned into one of the biggest screw jobs of all time.

Does the above picture look like Monta fouled JR Smiff? C'mon now. Thanks to cameras being everywhere during NBA games, Referres cannot get away with their Tim Donaghy bullshit. But will the League Office (Csar Stern) ever issue any statement about this? Hell no. The fans get their collective noses rubbed in shit with no explanation. But please do pay for league pass and buy a few overpriced jerseys on

If you care to watch the incredible offense and lack of Denver D through some highlights followed by the 3 BS situations that ended this game, check out the vid. It's a great edit:

Gil Zero: The Timeline

The first part of The Sportsguy's podcast with "buddy" House gives us a good breakdown on what may have happened in the Gils Gunz situation. Oh, and by the way in case you haven't heard, Gilbert Arenas has been suspended indefinitely without pay by Csar Stern.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Gil Zero: The Definitive Statement

Yes, that is a pre-game picture of Gil-Zero shooting guns and saying that he was just doing that touchdown dance from "Any Given Sunday". Yes, the picture above was taken before yesterday's game amidst all of the unloaded-gun-flashing madness. Yes, this afternoon Gilbert Arenas was suspended indefinitely from the NBA for his follies. And to get the DEFINITIVE STATEMENT on the entire situation, please read our Definitive NBA Statement Maker, Kelly Dwyer by clicking on those words "DEFINITIVE STATEMENT" up there. Or for those that are too lazy to move their mouse upward, just click HERE.

P.S. I sure am glad that the Warriors' rush-offer to Gil a few years back after Baron signed with The Clippers didn't happen. He would have no doubt shot Nellie.

Monta Ellis

Nothing more to add to this amazing picture-with-words-on-it.

Gil Zero on Letterman's Top 10 List

Congratulations Gilbert. You have finally gone mainstream by having an entire Letterman Top 10 List dedicated to you:

Monday, January 4, 2010

Podcast of the Year: Adam Carolla

The Carolla Radio Podcast is one of the best things going these days. Aceman and his cronies have put out incredible amounts of really entertaining content over this past year and were recently rewarded with the iTunes "Podcast of the Year" designation. Nice work fellas. If you haven't checked out Adam Carolla yet, you don't deserve the moniker of "Nextian" next to your name and can seriously just get the fuck out of the limo. Like now. Don't even bother throwing in your share. Just leave, you damn buzz kill. More hoochies for Bilbo.

In my blatantly humble opinion, Joe Rogan with Adam Carolla was the best episode from 2009. I make sure to listen to this specific episode every few months just to expand my mind & keep it real up in the field, aiight?

John Callipari: Asshole

I love the "Information Age" we are living in. It allows us pions to understand what's really going on instead of being forced to drink the Kool Aid. The Wire opened up our eyes to what's really going on in our classist 'merican society. TMZ showed us way too much about Tiger Woods and his freaky sex life instead of the milk toast image that IMG tried to cram down our throats. Oprah talks about her vajayjay and teaches our entire culture a new word.

But most importantly, Outside The Lines on ESPN has been asking the really hard questions and getting amazing answers year after year. Thank you, Bob Ley. Please enjoy this tidbit on why the NCAA sucks so much harder than NBA (even though sometimes there are buzzer beaters during March Madness).

Friday, January 1, 2010

Gil Zero: Another Reason To Love Him

When it comes to shooting, Gilbert Arenas just has to embrace all aspects of the verb. Whether it be firing clutch 3's from 12 feet beyond the arc (see graph above), playing the first person shooter game Halo 3, bricking crunch time free throws, or pulling a gun on a teammate in order to welch on a bet; Gil Zero is all about his shot.

Oklahoma City: Rolling

Mr. Next has scored 30 points in 6 straight games. The OKC Thunder, I mean, Team That Shall Not Be Named (I never knew The Sports Guy was a Harry Potter fan?) has coincidentally won 5 straight games. Their last loss was a 3 point defeat IN Staples vs. The Lakers.

Being that this is a web-log/blog that mentions things which are Next, this is just something that had to be posted. Enjoy KD in a wetsuit above. Peep last nights OKC victory over the Jazz HERE.